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Ever since the Associated Press' Current TV-esque ill-advised new youth-targeted newswire asap — all lowercase, no periods — "dropped," as the hip-poppers say, the results, as you'd expect, have been like the scene in an "urban" comedy in which a middle-aged white character actor talks like Snoop Dogg — equally embarrassing to young, old, black, and white.

Today's lead feature (warning: unnecessary use of flash because it is FOR THE YOUTH) explores whether two divorced men can share an apartment without driving each other crazy, if they are a vegetarian and a carnivorous food writer, respectively. You see, they go out for meat, followed by a vegetarian meal, and it's crazy! You could cut the irreverence with a knife — a steak knife! Meat-eater is the "funny" one, as evidenced by his unshaved armpit jokes and the classic line, "tofu is the limp penis of the food world."

Did you ever think you'd live to see the day when the Associated Press would be printing dick jokes? Of course not — we're sure you always hoped you'd be long dead by then.

asap
Earlier:
 Today's AP: Not Just For Old People Anymore
Everything Is Abbreviated