A West Virginia high school teacher may be in trouble after letting students pick a movie to show in class as a reward for their good performance. Turns out the kids’ tastes are very ... singular. You wouldn’t understand.

A couple hid out inside Las Vegas's Erotic Heritage Museum until after closing on Valentine's Day and, once all the employees had left, proceeded to have sex in every room they could. The best part is that the museum was featuring a tribute to kink and Fifty Shades of Grey at the time.

Paul Janeway, the golden-throated frontman of St. Paul and the Broken Bones, wanted to be a preacher until he was 18. Instead, he's got a song on the soundtrack to Fifty Shades of Grey —which, he told Mother Jones, he hadn't heard of before he licensed "Call Me" for the movie. He assumed it was just another romantic comedy.

First there was the Bastille. Then there were the beaches of Normandy. Now we add to the list of places that have been ceremoniously stormed in order to seek justice: AMC West Oaks 14 in Oceoee, Florida, where 100 teens reacted to being barred from seeing R-rated sex film Fifty Shades of Grey by wreaking havoc everywhere.

Have you or someone you know been spanked, whipped or otherwise dominated by the deceptive marketing of 50 Shades of Grey-branded sex lube? If so, you may be entitled to compensation for your losses, should one California woman's new lawsuit be successful.

As prophesied by Beyoncé's Instagram, here's the first trailer for the film adaptation of E.L. James's insanely popular erotic Twilight fanfiction novel Fifty Shades of Grey. The movie stars Dakota Johnson as Anastasia Steele and Once Upon a Time's Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey's abs.

You should probably think twice before borrowing erotica from your local public library. I mean, for the obvious reasons, but also because Belgian scientists recently found a library copy of Fifty Shades of Grey bearing trace amounts of herpes. And do you really think that's an isolated incident?

A London man called the London Fire Brigade to report that his penis was stuck in a toaster. While the firefighters were not given a sufficient explanation as to how his dick ended up in the appliance, they were able to safely extricate the organ.

Following in the mouthsteps of his friend Gilbert Gottfried at the behest of his fans, star of stage and screen and Star Trek George Takei decided it was finally time to expose himself to the Twilight "inspired" fanrotica of Fifty Shades of Grey and recite a few choice passages.

Random House, the publisher of Fifty Shades of Grey and (every other fact is irrelevant), announced at its holiday party last night that every American employee—thousands of them, anyone who's been with company for a year—will be getting a $5,000 Christmas bonus. "The cheering went on for minutes," says the NYT.

Chances are if you wanted to read contemporary classic Fifty Shades of Grey, you would have read it already.

Well then you'll just have to fire up your worm-hole generator and take a trip to one of the parallel universes wherein that sort of thing takes place.

Why read Fifty Shades of Grey when you can live it? Or, OK, at least drag a bunch of girlfriends to the real-life hotel where some of the book's filthy sex takes place.

During a recent stop on their Campaign promotion trail, The Campaign stars Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis were asked to participate in an impromptu audition for the film adaptation of E.L. James bestselling novel Fifty Shades of Grey.

One British hotel has decided to do away with the traditional bedside Gideon Bibles — and replace them with complimentary copies of mommy porn book Fifty Shades of Grey.

A British man was arrested last month for assault after he sprayed his girlfriend with an "unidentified" brown sauce when she refused to stop reading Fifty Shades of Grey. He later plead guilty and was sentenced earlier this week.

Your teenage daughter—how much do you really know about her? You know that she likes church, and playing with dolls, and going to the ice cream shoppe. But did you know that she wants to be tied up and sexually dominated by a dark brooding stranger? Well, she does. Sorry.

That was fast. Just a month after minivan-mom erotica 50 Shades of Grey was banned, Brevard County Florida has reneged on the ban and will return all 19 copies of the book to its' libraries.

You haven't been truly turned on by E. L. James' "mommy porn" insta-classic Fifty Shades of Grey until you've heard its Twilight-inspired tale of taboo lovemaking recited through the quivering lips of the Sultan of Sultry: Gilbert Gottfried.

Hotel room doormat USA Today is the first source that Americans turn to to learn about angels. But what about devils? The devil on your shoulder—and by "shoulder," we mean "sexual organs." Will this Fifty Shades of Grey book your book club wants to read turn you into a dirty little sex fiend slut, that's right, because you know you like it? Or what?