Fifty Shades of Grey, America's number one Soccer mom smut erotica, has been banned from Florida's Brevard County Libraries system.

The number one fiction book in all of America today: soft core spank-sex LOLrotica extravaganza Fifty Shades of Grey. The number two fiction book in America: the sequel, Fifty Shades Darker. The number three fiction book in America: Fifty Shades Freed, the final entry of the "erotic trilogy."

In light of the "hullabaloo" surrounding BDSM novel Fifty Shades of Grey, elderly Smithtown, New York resident David Shobin gave the lusty lady book a read. Afterwards, he penned a powerfully ambivalent Amazon book review that has since been quoted in The Los Angeles Times and Vanity Fair. (Both publications quoted Shobin as a nameless "Amazon reviewer.")

Have you heard about Fifty Shades of Grey? It's the hot new thing on the literary scene. The New York Times reports that bookstores cannot keep up with demands for the smash hit novel, which was published by an independent press in Australia. Perhaps that's why Fifty Shades of Grey is number one on the e-book fiction bestsellers list, and number three on Amazon.com's bestseller list. The people have spoken, and they demand more porn.