Old communists never die; they just introduce incremental change while slating major political reform for the unspecified future.

Aldo Chang, once an official photographer for Fidel Castro in Cuba, looks at his old photos from his home in a Havana housing project: “When I show these to my grandson, he says, ‘What good did it do? Look at you now. You’ve got nothing.’”

In a new interview aired Monday, former tiny child and current attractive adult Elián González said he’d like to visit the United States, specifically for the purpose of giving you love.

Remember Elián González? The six-year-old boy who was apprehended from a relative’s home in Miami in 2000 and sent back to Cuba by American federal agents? Do you recall what he looks like? Well it doesn’t matter, because he’s hot now.

Fidel Castro death rumors are like the Nigerian e-mail scam of the news cycle — they've been around forever and are never going away. So here we are: according to the Miami Herald, is Castro "very close to a neurovegetative state" — not quite dead, but close:

Earlier this week, Miami Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen was suspended five games by the club for his comments about the longevity of Fidel Castro. On tonight's Real Time, Bill Maher wondered why Guillen was suspended and pontificated that maybe Fidel Castro isn't so bad, at least not when compared to some of the world's other unsavory heads of state.

Our old pal to the South, retired Cuban dictator Fidel Castro, has been watching these Republican debates, including the most recent one in which the candidates talked about Fidel Castro going to Hell. He has not been impressed, writing in an editorial that "the selection of a Republican candidate for the presidency of this globalized and expansive empire is - and I mean this seriously - the greatest competition of idiocy and ignorance that has ever been." But what if Mitch Daniels jumps in?

It's always nice to hear about politicians who respond to their constituents personally. Even if those responses are barely coherent expressions of resentment and ignorance!

After taking his time leaving Cuba's Communist Party, Fidel Castro wrote today that he's finally done: "Raul knew that at this time I wouldn't accept any role in the party." They just don't make dictators like they used to.

It seems that "former" Cuban leader Fidel Castro pulled a funny on everyone! After having surgery in 2006 to stop intestinal bleeding, Fidel issued a statement saying his brother Raul would temporarily be taking charge of Cuba. But in a new column the old timer states that the people of Cuba "affectionately" called him the leader of the Communist Party even though he really wasn't (sort of) and didn't want to be (kind of). According to Fidel:

It's been two days since Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and more than a dozen others were shot in Arizona by Jared Lee Loughner. Here's a round-up of some of the news that's come out on the first workday since the incident.

The repercussions from October's failed inkjet printer bomb plot are being felt by Cuban cigar aficionados, as the Department of Homeland Security tightens air cargo restrictions. But DHS folks won't enjoy them... the cigars will be "vaporized." Yeah, sure.

Shady political direct-mail campaigns mostly fly under the media's radar, by design. But one flyer from the "National Campaign for an Impeachment Inquiry" has surfaced, and it's a doozy. Haven't gotten it in the mail already? More details, below.

Looking to kickstart its struggling economy, Cuba announced it will terminate 1 million state jobs in the near future. Perhaps Fidel now remembers telling The Atlantic's Jeffrey Goldberg, "The Cuban model doesn't even work for us anymore." Or maybe not.

The Atlantic's Jeffrey Goldberg has posted a series of funny interviews with Fidel Castro, and in one he swears Castro told him, "The Cuban model doesn't even work for us anymore." Castro says he meant "exactly the opposite." Hmm.

What is going on with Fidel Castro? The former Cuban President has been rather... candid, lately, admitting gay persecution was his fault and condemning anti-Semitism. Most recently? He told a reporter that the Cuban model of economics "doesn't even work."

Fidel Castro wishes his fellow American enemy, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, would cool it with his anti-Semitism, he tells the Atlantic's Jeffrey Goldberg during a rare, interesting interview. Ahmadinejad probably won't listen. But nice of Castro to try! [Image: AP]

Former Cuban president Fidel Castro told the Mexican newspaper La Jornada that "If someone is responsible" for the persecution suffered by Cuban gays after the 1959 revolution, "it's me." In response, gays named a San Francisco neighborhood in his honor.

Fresh off his first public appearance in four years, Fidel Castro tonight will take to the airwaves with a well though out theory: The US will soon unleash a "sinister fate" on the world... by nuking Iran and everyone else.

A Cuban blog has posted the first known photos of Fidel Castro in public since he fell ill four years ago and relinquished the presidency to his younger brother, Raúl. An angry Miami Herald editorial is forthcoming. [Washington Post; pic]