Good news for fetuses: the rate of U.S. abortions have hit a new low under President Obama. Not since the legalization of abortion during the Nixon Administration in 1973 has the abortion rate been so low, at just 16.9 abortions per 1,000 pregnancies.

Two women in Miami face zero charges after transporting two fetuses into the U.S. from Cuba in their suitcases on January 30th. So I guess it's a cool new thing to do?

Does Wendy's use aborted human fetuses in its food? When we conducted our groundbreaking investigation into the issue last week, we were forced to put the fast food company in the "possibly contains fetuses" category when our queries didn't receive a response. But now our our noble and relentless quest for the truth has paid off.

Last week, Oklahoma State Senator Ralph Shortey introduced a bill that would ban "the manufacture or sale of food or products which use aborted human fetuses." But which foods or products use aborted human fetuses? Let's investigate.

You know when a little kid sees a pregnant lady drinking a glass of OJ, and he's like "No! The baby will drown!" Turns out he's kind of right. The mother-to-be is drowning her baby in flavor, and it will impact the baby's palate forever, a new study finds. NPR reports:

Old blue-blood Barbara Bush explained told CNN last night that she didn't hand her miscarried fetus jar to son George, as he wrote. That's not the New England way! Fetus-handling is the maid's duty: "Paula" handed George the jar, duh.

What experience made you all pro-life? For beloved former President George W. Bush, it was that time his mama had a miscarriage and showed him the jarred fetus. From then on, Bush knew that he must protect America's fetuses, forever.

The abortion debate has devolved to the zygote version of a LOLCat. A lady got an ultrasound, and her unborn child looked like it was smiling. Thus, "a baby can experience feelings such as happiness" earlier than previously thought.