Wyclef is still waiting for Haiti's electoral commission to rule on whether he can legally run for president there. In the meantime, he now says he's in hiding, thanks to death threats. Where is his lion when he needs it?

This week we showed you the video of the 2009 beating of Michael DeHerrera by Denver police—who were upset he was making a phone call while they beat his friend. Guess who he was calling? His dad, a cop.

This is Michael Kevin Lallana of Fullerton, California, a 31-year-old financial representative at Northwestern Mutual Financial Network. He is also, according to the Orange County District Attorney, a sex offender who put his semen in a co-worker's water bottle. Gross.

Here's a trailer for Black Swan, Darren Aronofsky's moody-looking psychological thriller set in the competitive and cutthroat world of professional ballet. It looks creepy and interestingly filmed and could be an unsettling rumination on ambit— Oh, fuck it. They kiss.

The verdict's in on Illinois ex-governor Rod Blagojevich: he's guilty of one count of lying to the FBI. The jury deadlocked on 23 other counts. He faces up to five years in jail, a $250,000 fine, and a retrial.

The oldest soul in show business and inadvertent comedienne Taylor Momsen gave an interview to Spin in which she ridicules Rihanna for confusing "pop" with "rock." Highlights from the Gossip Girl star turned jailbait rocker's wonderfully funny interview below.

Bumrushed by a thief on the street, an innocent female shrieked: Her cellphone had been stolen! Just then, a Vespa scooted onto the scene. Chromed wheels shining like justice, its passengers chased down the bandit and retrieved the maiden's phone.

Kevin Kristopik—the 15-year-old whose phone number Justin Bieber tweeted to his 4.5 million followers as punishment for Kristopik hacking his friend's Twitter account—has taken to Inside Edition to demand an apology from the teen heartthrob.

Let's say your wife's trying to walk out of the courthouse in peace after her appearance in a high-profile trial, but she can't shake the TV news cameramen. Solution: spray 'em down with "wasp and hornet spray." It really works!

Sarah Palin objects to the proposed Park51 community center—aka the "Ground Zero Mosque"—because the area around the former Twin Towers site is "hallowed ground." What else is on that "hallowed ground"? A strip club and McDonald's.

Gay marriage will be prohibited in California while the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals considers the legal challenge to the state's gay-marriage ban. But don't throw away your invites: They've expedited the process so that oral arguments begin December 6.

A Florida man was arrested for twice "friending" his estranged wife on Facebook in violation of a domestic protection order. So not worth it. And there's no way she'd "friend" back given what the guy wrote on his wall.

Nadja Benaissa, a member of German girl band No Angels, is on trial for knowingly spreading HIV through unprotected sex. And her songs are infectious, too! But seriously, she testified today, and it was sad and scary.

Michael Douglas says his doctors discovered a cancerous tumor in his throat. He'll undergo two months of chemotherapy and radiation, but says he's "very optimistic" he'll make a full recovery. Does this mean we have to like Wall Street 2?

Apple is directly creating ads on the iPhone and imposing "tight control" over the creative process for its "iAds" platform, sources tell the Wall Street Journal. The control-freakery has already driven away Chanel and delayed other campaigns.

In a new interview with New York magazine, little ol' Katie Holmes admits her precocious paparazzi-bait daughter is better at being famous than she is, perhaps because she's still starstruck with Tom Cruise.

Stieg Larsson is dead and Harry Potter's retired, so the book publishing industry has only one thing left up its sleeve: The Secret. Oh, wait, that was already published several years ago. Okay: a sequel to The Secret. More secret!

When Reddit user freshcashews turned 13, his father sent out letters to important figures inviting them to the Bar Mitzvah. Forty-one of them wrote back—including then-Senator Obama, Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Queen of England, and the President of Nigeria.

When a company picks up and moves—or when a, say, advertising firm breaks in half—what is there to do but to have a moving sale?

Oh what a festive Project Runway! Tim Gunn took everyone to a party store and then he laughed and giggled and cried. If only everyone could be warmed by Grampa Gunn's guffaw. Too bad they all have dark, dark souls.