The story: This morning the HuffPo speculates that lover, crooner, fighter John Mayer might be getting back with Jennifer Aniston, based on things said at a concert. Mayer then responds, says everything's out of context, and invents exciting new phrases.

Former Russian spy Anna Chapman posed for a Russian laddie mag, displaying her globular breasts and startlingly spherical rear end in photos and on video. Then she posted the pictures on Facebook. And now she's getting sued for it.

Online game titan Zynga just saw its advertising firm hit with cleaning bills and fines for gluing fake money to sidewalks in San Francisco to promote the Zynga game "Mafia Wars." Now, they're doing the same thing in NYC. Scofflaws!

Rep. Michele Bachmann, founder of the House Tea Party Caucus, is now starting a political action committee, Michele PAC. The only problem: staffers responsible for registering it, who don't know how to spell her name.

Post-prison Lindsay Lohan is more popular than ever, apparently, and she's now cashing in. LiLo is reportedly entertaining all offers, including paid interviews, a New York radio show, and merely carrying products in paparazzi pictures. Sure crime doesn't pay?

Ahmed Sharif, the New York City cab driver stabbed after allegedly being asked if he was Muslim, described the violent attack to local TV news reporters, saying he pleaded with his attacker not to kill him.

America's most famous unwed mother Bristol Palin has been confirmed as a castmember on the next season of Dancing with the Stars. Wouldn't it be awesome if rumored fellow castmate The Situation started dating her? Mommy Sarah would hate that!

If you're attractive and/or a girl, this doesn't apply to you. But the rest you, meaning those who poop, listen up: Your pooping technique is incorrect, a groundbreaking story reveals. You've been sitting on toilets, which gives you diseases.

A Sri Lankan maid says the wealthy Saudi Arabian family she worked for drove hot nails into her arms and legs after she complained to them about being overworked. There are even X-rays! And you thought your office was tough.

Huguette Clark is an heiress with a $500 million fortune and a 42-room apartment on Fifth Ave. Too bad she hasn't lived there in 20 years. Are her lawyer and accountant trying to take her for all she's worth?

The War on Mosques continued last night, as some drunk idiot barged into a Queens mosque during evening prayers, called worshipers "terrorists," and peed on their carpets. He was hospitalized and charged with criminal trespass. He probably feels silly now.

Outta the way, Mehlman. We have a bigger coming out story: David Yost, who played the nerdy blue Power Ranger on the '90s kids show Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, is gay, he says in a three-part interview. 8/26: Never forget.

Has any legal drug mecca fallen out of favor as quickly as the city of Los Angeles? Just last year, it had 600 legal weed spots. A government crackdown cut that to less than 200. And now, it gets worse!

Hey, America: Time to get excited! Why? Because a year and a half from now you could be eating the very first genetically-modified animal approved for public consumption: The AquAdvantage® salmon! Assuming it passes the approval process, which began Wednesday.

John Brady—mayor of Mankato, Minnesota—was recently arrested and charged with driving while intoxicated. And leaving the scene of an accident. And driving with an open container of alcohol (vodka). His blood-alcohol level? Three times the legal limit.

Want to be over-involved in your child's life, but can't spare the time it takes to smother them with attention? A service for you: A company is installing webcams at Little League games, so parents can watch from their phones.

Vladimir Putin, the world's favorite He-man/Russian President shot a gray whale with a crossbow while riding in a rubber raft earlier today. This is getting ridiculous. How will he ever outdo himself now?

Ken Mehlman, former Republican National Committee chair and George Bush's 2004 campaign manager, has admitted he's gay after years of rumors and denials. He shouldn't expect forgiveness anytime soon, though, from the gay community he's spent his career trashing.

New Jersey was not among the winning states announced yesterday in the Obama administration's "Race to the Top" contest for federal education funding. The only reason? A single clerical error on its application. And it'll cost the state $400 million.

How lazy are Americans? So lazy we're in search of an easier way to wipe our butts. Meet the "Easy Reach Bathroom Tissue Holder." It adjusts the toilet paper to be closer to you.