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Phone Sex Takes Over DMV's Old Phone Number

Maureen O'Connor · 09/17/10 03:28PM

1-800-DIAL-DMV used to connect you to New York State's Department of Motor Vehicles. Now it directs people to a lady who moans, "You're so big baby, wanna pull it out and watch it explode all over my beautiful backside?"

Shopping Pretty Much As Good As Sex

Maureen O'Connor · 09/17/10 01:34PM

Good news: "Shoppers experience the same rush of endorphins when they stumble across a hot sale promotion as they do when they are sexually aroused." So if you shopped during Fashion's Night Out, you have been to an orgy.

Project Runway: The Kennedy Assassination

Brian Moylan · 09/17/10 12:37PM

Project Runway killed Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis a second time. They dug up her grave, molested her corpse, dressed her up in bad outfits, and paraded her on TV. Her eternal soul will know no rest because of reality television.

Ground Zero Has 4 Stars on Yelp

Adrian Chen · 09/17/10 11:28AM

Hey, look: Ground Zero has a Yelp page. And it's only got four stars! We know Yelpers can be harsh, but can't the site of one of the century's defining moments catch a break?

Google Spy Could Face Jail Time

Ryan Tate · 09/16/10 05:47PM

Teen-stalking Google engineer David Barksdale could face up to five years in prison if he were to be convicted of violating the federal Electronic Communications Privacy Act, which prohibits the intentional interception of electronic communication.

'Dude, You Have No Koran': The Autotune Version

Maureen O'Connor · 09/16/10 03:34PM

Jacob Isom—the rattail-coiffed Koran hero of Amarillo, Texas—is officially a phenomenon. The video of him telling a local news about how he swiped a kerosene-soaked Koran from would-be burners has gotten its first auto-tuned remix.