The religious right's Values Voters Summit begins today, in Washington! Are you going? Of course not, because you people have no values. But many potential presidential candidates will be speaking, plus Christine O'Donnell and various other catastrophes.

The sponsors of this year's social conservatism summit include the Family Research Council — only one founder of which was spotted being gay with a gay hooker in an airport in the last year — as well as the American Family Association, presidential ne'er-do-well Gary Bauer's American Values, the Heritage Foundation, and Jerry Falwell's Liberty University.

The speakers will include likely 2012 presidential candidates Newt Gingrich, Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney, and Rick Santorum, as well as Sen. Jim DeMint, Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell, David Limbaugh, Sen. Jim Inhofe, Bill Bennett, Rep. Michele Bachmann, Sean Hannity, David Limbaugh, Rep. Mike Pence, and, of course, Delaware political sensation Christine O'Donnell. They will all talk about how bad it is to fuck people of the same sex, and some other things ("President Obama is bad" etc.)

Oh and of course! Here's another famous Values Voter who'll take the stage: Bryan Fischer, the American Family Association's famous Director of Issue Analysis for Government and Public Policy. You may remember him from a couple of months ago when he suggested there be no more mosques in the United States, period. Here's another "big hit" of his from several days ago. Will he play it for the Values Voters Summit crowd today?

You've got these Mujaheddin on the battlefield setting out these syringes with the HIV virus in it as a way to carry out terrorism. This is exactly what happens when two males have sex with one another. If one of them is HIV Positive, then it's just like injecting his partner with a needle with HIV. That's domestic terrorism. I don't know what else you'd call it.

These things and more, only at this weekend's Values Voters Summit!

[Sen. Jim DeMint image via AP]