Screw JWOWW's slutty dresses: There's some wonderful new, unauthorized Jersey Shore-inspired attire now available. It's The Situation shirt that has a clear window for your, you know, situation. Abs not included. Don't worry, it comes in a tank-top too. [via]

Television sensation Stephen Colbert will testify before a House Judiciary Committee subcommittee on Friday. The topic? "Protecting America's Harvest." Colbert is expected to argue for, well, one side of this issue. Probably on behalf of farmers? What is going on?

David Fincher and Aaron Sorkin's Facebook movie opens next week and the reviews are coming in. Surprisingly (?), stuffy old movie critics seem to think it's, well, brilliant. Let's take a look at what some folks had to say.

At least one dingbat in the country is still talking about the proposed Islamic community center blocks from Ground Zero: Renee Elders, Republican congressional candidate from North Carolina. In this ad, she explains the history of "victory mosques."

Yesterday's Twitter worm is a disturbingly fascinating life form, writes the Guardian's Martin Robbins, one that spread far more quickly than human viruses, or even other computer worms, possibly could. Think of it as a sort of super herpes.

Seems we've got a comedian running for Wisconsin governor. Wanna know how funny Republican nominee Scott Walker is? His opponent, Tom Barrett, released a 67-page jobs plan, so Walker goes and releases a 68-page plan, in size 10-million font! Burn?

To remove a tumor "the size of a calzone," doctors split a woman in half and attached her leg to her spine. They're calling it a "pogo stick" surgery, the first of its kind. The patient is in good spirits.

Mad Men's Jon Hamm worked in porn. He wasn't an actor or a director but a set dresser on a soft-core movie. Not as racy as we'd hoped, but still "Hamm" and "porn" in the same sentence sure is something.

A South Carolina police officer feared his cop car was looking dirty, so he took it to a stripper-sponsored "Tits n Tats" car wash to get his cruiser shined. There are pictures. They ended up on Facebook. He got fired.

We thought it was bad when we learned that cell phones will work in the subway, but now another of our commuting nightmares has been realized. There are currently functioning televisions on the subway. Great, one more thing to ignore.

Delaware's anti-onanist Republican Senate nominee Christine O'Donnell went on Fox News' Hannity last night to face a grilling of softball questions. Among other things, she explained her teenage days as an evil witch. It's what teens did in the '80s!

In a story on the rise of for-profit private schools in NYC, the NYT highlights a demographic trend that could spell disaster: in Manhattan, there are more rich kids than private school slots. What will the rich kids do?

Those working tirelessly to stop the stereotyping of Italian Americans in the media won't be too happy about this.

Bell, California: little town, big problems. Eight city officials were arrested there yesterday, including city council members, the city manager, and the mayor, whose door was battered down by the police. The worst part? It wasn't a surprise.

Bishop Eddie Long—noted homophobe, megachurch pastor, and author of Gladiator, the Strength of a Man—has been accused by two young men from his church of coercing them into masturbating and "oral sexual contact." That's so crazy!

A report released today found no evidence that FBI spying on left-leaning groups like PETA in the early 2000s was politically-motivated. But it did include this sad story of one hapless rookie FBI agent.

Someone left a nasty comment on gay rights blogger Joe.My.God's popular site. It read: "All faggots must die." Joe posted the IP address and asked readers to trace it. Turns out it came from a Georgia Republican Senator's office.

California's ballot proposition to legalize marijuana has drawn a likely foe: The California Beer & Beverage Distributors. They're spending to oppose the measure and preserve alcohol's monopoly on legal vice. Sigh. It's terrible when mommy and daddy fight like this.

JetBlue has appropriated the iconic "I ♥ NY" logo in its new ad campaign, so the Times invited readers to create similar mash-ups. The entries so far have been pretty lame, though. And we know you can do better.

Silly Alaska Sen. Lisa Murkowski, having lost her re-election primary, is now running a write-in campaign. Her job is ensure that voters can spell "Murkowski" correctly. This is difficult — especially when her own ad misspells her name.