Facebook's board somehow distilled a hugely successful strategy from threadbare briefings by CEO Mark Zuckerberg, who explains in this video how he would scrawl all the board's Facebook news on a single sheet of yellow paper.

Singing activist Lady Gaga has been campaigning tirelessly against "don't ask, don't tell." But the rider for her concerts states all "political banners" are banned. Guess Gaga is the only one who gets to express an opinion.

Well, so much for that. Senate Republicans' filibuster against a defense authorization bill — including a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" repeal and the DREAM Act — was successful. The final vote was 56-43, with 60 votes needed to move forward.

After pleading guilty to cocaine possession yesterday, Paris Hilton took a private plane to Japan where the authorities detained her for six hours and grilled her about the drug allegations. If pink-and-girly Paris isn't welcome in Japan, who'll have her?

Sarah Palin hasn't been in headlines for a day or two, but this expensive-looking video production she's released should cure that. It's about the Tea Party, of which she approves! Watch as they descend on a desert hellscape, for America.

18-year-old Indiana teen Andrew Conley confessed to strangling his 10-year-old brother. Prosecutors are blaming the crime on Conley's desire to be like the serial-killing main character on Showtime's Dexter. Why couldn't he have just been a stoner really into Weeds?

The forthcoming Facebook movie exists thanks to an embittered co-founder who blabbed about the company's origins. Instant messages from CEO Mark Zuckerberg, below, describe the "dirty tricks" that made the co-founder so angry—and so indiscreet.

A Bronx resident went to his bathroom last night and found a three-foot corn snake "comfortably coiled" on the toilet seat. Apparently it swam through the plumbing. He told the cops to get the motherfucking snake off his motherfucking toilet.

It's a big Senate votin' day! Two acts favored by the Democratic base — the immigrant-friendly DREAM Act and a repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell — are included in today's defense bill. But will Republicans successfully filibuster?

Comedy Central funnymen Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert recently unveiled their plans for dueling, satirical Washington rallies on October 30. But October 30 is the Saturday before midterm elections! Shouldn't America's wiseasses be campaigning for Democrats, instead of attending this?

This is a historic night! Currently, #getsomejustin is a trending topic on Twitter: It's the first Twitter trend started by Justin Bieber fans with the express intent of tormenting Justin Bieber. The Bieberacolypse has begun.

Mark Hurd is paying dearly to roll with Oracle. The misbehaving former Hewlett Packard CEO will give up millions of dollars to settle an HP lawsuit and continue working with fellow bad boys at Oracle. He's an eternal bro.

Delaware Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell hastily dismissed her witchcraft background this weekend, after Bill Maher released an old tape of her describing high-school experimentation with satanic altars. Now the Witch Community is furious, and will transform O'Donnell into a carrot.

Jimmy Carter is sick of taking shit for the last 30 years, so guess what? He's just going to brag now. In an interview today he said he's the best post-president ever. Don't like that? Deal with it.

Photographer Eric Fischer's color-coded maps of racial segregation are captivating, particularly once you find your own neighborhood. A look at his work follows after the jump, courtesy of Fast Company's Cliff Kuang.

Marijuana harvesters in Oakland, California have joined the Teamsters and negotiated a pay raise, pension, vacations and health insurance. It turns out handling bud all day is surprisingly taxing.

Tonight is the premiere of The Event, NBC's latest stab at a big, loud, rumbling mystery machine, a hybrid of Lost's tantalizing obfuscation and 24's globe-trotting government intrigue. It's not a miniseries, it's a full series-series. So can it work?

Barack Obama doesn't want businesses thinking he's anti-business. So he held a town hall today for CNBC, which literally all businesses watch. A common middle-class person posed a brutal first question, however, saying she's "exhausted of defending you."

Lindsay Lohan failed a drug test for cocaine and now TMZ reports she failed a second test, this time for amphetamines. Possibly it was due to her Adderall prescription. Update: An arrest warrant has been issued for LiLo.

Oliver Stone says he cut Donald Trump's cameo out of Wall Street 2 because he was too "distracting." Maybe it wasn't his presence in the movie but the obvious presence in his pants that got him cut?