When a deejay offered six figures for a forehead tattoo, David Jonathan Winkelman did it—and then everyone laughed at him and said it was a joke. Now he has to relive the humiliation with a mugshot gone viral.

Katy Perry and Russell Brand are NYC tourists no more: They've purchased a $2.9 million pied a terre in Manhattan. The 1,500-square-foot apartment also comes with a terrace where Katy can terrorize neighborhood children with her breasts. Photos below.

"I don't have a Facebook page because I have little interest in hearing myself talk about myself," says Jesse Eisenberg, who plays Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network. Fun fact: Jesse's cousin works at Facebook HQ.

At long last, the GOP's ad men have realized that Ronald Reagan's famously sunny "Morning in America" re-election ad can be remade as "Mourning in America," to attack stupid Democrats. This one is running nationally. Mourn, you fools, mourn!

Journalism student Chelsea Kate Isaacs got in an email pissing contest with Apple CEO Steve Jobs because the company's PR department wouldn't give her a comment for a class assignment. She tells us she got a "B/B+" on the paper.

California Rep. Loretta Sanchez's been caught playin' the ol' Race Card in an interview. She warns that "the Vietnamese and the Republicans" are coming for her. (Her opponent is Vietnamese-born). Scary! Maybe we should consider bombing this "Vietnam"?

Collect all four Lindsay Lohan mugshots, and get 10 percent off your next dimebag of cocaine! At top left, Lohan's newest booking photo, taken after she was sent back to jail today for failing a drug test.

We were highly amused by the controversy surrounding Katy Perry's busty guest performance on Sesame Street. (Her duet with Elmo was was cut because of her revealing dress.) But Elmo says he'd love to have Katy back on the show.

Brooklyn's new baby baboons have been named: Azizi and Jabari (Egyptian for "brave" and "precious") are the newest residents of the Prospect Park Zoo. Expect those names to start showing up on Park Slope strollers any day now. (Previously)

You may already be aware of the practice of "card skimming," wherein thieves use hidden cameras and magnetic strip-readers to steal ATM customers' PIN number and card information. Here's a fascinating video taken from one of those hidden cameras.

[Arriving at a bail hearing for failing a drug test, Lohan flaunts her sassiest courtroom ensemble yet. The quantity and quality of her jewelry suggests she doesn't think she's going to jail. At least, not right away. Image via Splash.]

After a long period of speculation, incompetent NBC Universal CEO Jeff Zucker finally announced today that he'll be leaving once Comcast's takeover of NBC is complete. He won't be missed. He'll be running for office soon. Mawkish goodbye memo, below.

Stephen Colbert made his spontaneous, in-character appearance testifying in a House committee this morning, where he said some very nice things about migrant workers. This came after mean old Rep. John Conyers asked him to leave at the hearing's start.

35-year-old Somerville, MA resident Mitchell Heisman shot himself in Harvard Yard last Saturday in front of a tour group. Turns out he left a sprawling, deeply-researched suicide note, conveniently located at suicidenote.info

A 17-year-old animal rights activist was lassoed and dragged by rodeo riders in Chile last weekend after she and another protester entered the corral and disrupted the Patriotic Celebration Festival. Chilean cowboys take their rodeo riding seriously.

James Gosling couldn't stand working for Larry Ellison, the notorious founder of Oracle. Ellison is casting an increasingly fearsome shadow over Silicon Vally these days, but Java inventor Gosling is freely proclaiming that the CEO screwed over his employees.

A 25-year-old "habitual felon" and convict named Eric Chambers has been charged for trying to sneak a Samsung cell phone into a prison in North Carolina. He twice set off metal detectors before police found a phone in his ass.

D.C. blogger Mike Stark is circulating a video where he accuses House Minority Leader John Boehner of sleeping with a lobbyist—whom he names. Armed with a flipcam, Stark filmed his ambush at today's Pledge to America press conference.

A 50-year-old Army veteran who was arrested after an eight-hour standoff with federal agents was charged on Wednesday with threatening to kill President Obama. Officials said he planned to ignite a war between Muslims and Christians and "start an apocalypse."

Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss, the devastatingly handsome twins who claim Facebook was their idea, lapse all too easily into self-caricature. Consider their outfits for a screening of The Social Network, which included, says an accompanying journalist, matching man purses.