New Jersey pastor Cedric Miller ordered married congregants to give up Facebook because the "temptation is just too great." His inspiration: The plight of congregant Elliott Subervi, who says 2000 beautiful women friended him, then tormented him with sexy messages.

From 2008 to 2009, the median household net worth for a member of Congress went up 19 percent. During the same time, the national median plummeted by 15 percent. This is known as a plutocracy.

The House panel that found Rep. Charlie Rangel guilty on 11 of 13 ethics charges is deliberating which symbolic punishment to give him. Will he receive a "censure," the ultimate strongly-worded letter? We'll see. Rangel, meanwhile, is whining as usual.

It's a weird day in America when Massachusetts could learn a thing or two from Arkansas. But such is the case today. And it all has to do with what kids are allowed to wear at school. Oof.

Real Housewife of New York Sonja Morgan filed for bankruptcy in New York yesterday. She listed about $13 million in assets and $19 million in debt. Being secretly poor is an epidemic with these ladies!

Chen Jianping retweeted something her fiance said about anti-Japan protests getting violent, and added, "Charge, angry youth!" For this she was sentenced to one year in a labor camp.

Senate Democrats will keep a "Don't Ask Don't Tell" repeal in the defense authorization bill next month. This is your last chance, gays, and supporters of gays, so consider telephoning your particular plutocrat. Then we can stop talking about this!

Someone in Sen. Chris Dodd's office must have been participating in a rich IM or Gchat conversation when the words "U love torturing me w this shit" got posted to the senator's Twitter. Retiring senators, sheesh! Where's the staff discipline?

On her Facebook page, Bristol Palin quasi-apologized for egging on sister Willow during a Facebook freakout about a "faggot." Then, Bristol took a page from her mother's playbook, complaining about "haters" who seek to "destroy" her magnificent televised dancing career.

Last night, CNN's Anderson Cooper did a story about bonobo apes that can communicate. They ordered him to put on a bunny suit and, like a good reporter, he did. This treads the fine line between ridiculous and adorable.

A Stockholm court has issued a warrant for Wikileaks founder Julian Assange's arrest, just to ask him some questions about those mysterious rape charges. Assange's only recourse now is to... simply not go to Sweden, of course! That's easy enough.

No longer content with the occasional on-screen cameo, television's "The Incredible Hulk" Lou Ferrigno has joined an armed posse of 55 volunteers in Arizona, led by racist Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, to hunt down illegal immigrants in the desert.

Musician Patti Smith won the nonfiction National Book Award on Wednesday for her memoir Just Kids, while Jaimy Gordon's Lord of Misrule came out of nowhere (well, Kingston, N.Y.) to win the fiction prize. Everyone was very surprised! And drunk.

Good news, everyone! Sarah Palin is "seriously considering" running for president in 2012. Don't be nervous for her, though—she believes she can beat President Obama.

A Miami doctor is suing Hillstone Restaurant Group, parent of the Houston's chain, after a bad experience with an artichoke. Apparently Arturo Carvajal ordered the off-menu special of "Grilled Artichokes." Then he ate the entire thing, leaves and all.

Rachelle Friedman's bridesmaids pushed her into a pool's shallow end, breaking her neck and leaving her paralyzed from the chest down. Now she can't marry her fiance because their combined income would cause her to lose her Medicaid benefits.

House Republicans will indeed force a vote to defund NPR over the Juan Williams firing.

In our little list about how to breeze through airport security we forgot to include one very important point: Do not punch a TSA officer in the chest, even as a joke. Damn—we're too late.

The gay conservative group GOProud, fresh off of warning Republicans to avoid playing up social issues in the next election cycle, has now come to the support of 16-year-old Willow Palin for calling someone a "faggot" on Facebook.

A Russian woman lied to police, claiming her daughter was a suicide bomber in order to prevent her from eloping to Morocco. After being questioned, the daughter was released and permitted to continue on her way. The mother was arrested.