Democracy is like a pungent onion for weepy Republican Speaker-of-the-House-to-be (ugh) John Boehner. Remember that time he broke down about the health care bill? Nancy Pelosi thinks John Boehner is an immature crybaby.

Government counter-terrorism officials gamed out a very likely terrorist scenario in a Northern California drill this week: That of marijuana growers setting off bombs, taking hostages, and laying siege to a strategically critical dam. We are so prepared for this!

A federal judge ordered that Wesley Snipes surrender himself and serve his three-year prison sentence. He was convicted in 2008 for not filing taxes. Hopefully he'll go willingly. The star of U.S. Marshals must know all the escape tricks!

Google Street View launched today in 20 German cities, but only after privacy-minded Germans forced Google to blur 240,000 houses from their maps. This scene managed to make it through—should really comfort creeped out Germans. [via Reddit]

The riddle-like tale of traveling twin sisters who shot each other simultaneously, leaving police unable to figure out which had died and which survived, has gotten stranger: The women, who were in Colorado for "cultural exchange," were obsessed with Columbine.

When we reported on the Minnesota couple who are putting their abortion up to an Internet vote, we wondered whether it was a pro-life stunt. The couple claim to have no agenda, but what's with the husband's anti-abortion Internet history?

The classmate Willow Palin called a "faggot" on Facebook does not accept big sister Bristol's apology: "Willow called me a faggot in front of the whole world and my family." He thinks she "may be" homophobic.

Duke has an image problem: The school's most notable student is a co-ed who sent out a Powerpoint about every dude she banged. Now, Duke's president wants to clean up the school's image by making college students stop being idiots.

Now that The City is canceled, socialite and scourge Olivia Palermo says she's working on her "own show". What could it be about? Certainly not having a real job or finishing college. God, that's so pedestrian! [via NYMag]

The Harvard Republican Club is mired in an election-fixing scandal of a deviousness not seen since the heyday of ACORN. The charge: a sinister plot by one candidate to lure voters away from the polls. The bait: McKinsey. Ooooo, Mckinsey!

The notorious message board 4chan's young founder has fashioned himself as a champion of extreme free speech on the Internet. But blatant censorship is occurring on 4chan right now, after its users attacked a target too close to home.

Republicans won the House at the mid-term election — and they also won on social media. Democrats can take some solace in the fact that Nancy Pelosi, while ousted as House Speaker, is still the most influential tweeter in Congress.

Meet Ilham Anas. He looks so much like Barack Obama, he's become a TV star in his native Indonesia and fears assassination. Time interviewed him and showed Ilham in his natural state: smoking cigarettes and using a Muslim prayer rug.

It is against my gay nature to speak ill of Cher, but since she's been on a media tour promoting her impending schlockfest Burlesque, she just sounds like an old. That's not going to sell tickets, Cher!

Democratic swamp-rat strategist James Carville told reporters today that "If Hillary gave up one of her balls and gave it to Obama, he'd have two." Will Obama mock him, like the last time Carville said something along these lines?

Silver lining to TSA's new crotch-groping policy: voyeurs have so much to look at! Check out this splashy photo display, showing a latex-gloved TSA agent squatting (on his knees?) with his arm submerged between another man's legs.

Chateau Bezerra used the neon signs around New York City—and his deft editing skills—to make this stunningly simple music video scored to the Gorillaz track "Melancholy Hill." Midtown Manhattan never looked so good—or sad.

British Prime Minister David Cameron says he may declare Prince William's impending wedding day a national holiday. Prince Charles and Princess Di had one declared for their nuptials 30 years ago. Monarchy doesn't look so bad now, does it?

Terrible news for America today: House Democrats voted down a bill to defund NPR over Juan Williams' firing, despite unanimous Republican support. For shame! And in minor news, House Republicans blocked an unemployment insurance extension for two million Americans.

Previously we showed you the house that the E! comedian was renting while searching for her dream home. Well, she's finally found said fantasy palace, a $5.9 million, 5,572-square-foot mansion in Bel Air. There's a poolside TV! Talent pays.