Traffic data provider NAVTEQ says New York has the slowest-moving traffic in the country and three of the 10 slowest-moving freeways. In good news, traffic fatalities in the city are at an all-time low. You'll die sitting in gridlock instead!

Wikileaks is threatening via Twitter that its next leak will be "7x the size of the Iraq War Logs," which themselves constituted nearly 400,000 files. So get ready to troll through 2.8 million of something.

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie has won over many fans with his bold technique of yelling at people — teachers, lady-harassers, etc. — and uploading clips of these to YouTube. But are his would-be victims catching on to this gimmick?

Who would pay $80 for an action figure of Steve Jobs? Many geeks, apparently; MIC Gadget already sold its whole production run of 300 dolls. We say wait for the model that can scream "not fucking blue enough!" at you.

More Americans think 9/11 was an inside job than oppose naked X-ray screenings at airports. But the ones who oppose the X-rays happen to have access to your televisions and computers, so America is freaking out about the TSA.

Newt Gingrich, who is still pretending to consider a presidential run, is laying down primary ground rules: No Republican debates moderated by Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann again! Not that there was a first time, necessarily. But still!

National unemployment remains stuck at nearly 10 percent and economic growth is tepid. But there are still golden tickets for workers if they're inside the tech bubble, especially if they're Google engineers courted by Facebook. And especially if they're women.

Take note, 2012 Republican presidential candidates: Alleged pundit Meghan McCain is available as a "strategist" for the election cycle; one of you'd better snatch her up post-haste! She will help you "kick Obama's ass," as she did in 2008.

Just nine short years after Washington intern Chandra Levy's highly-publicized murder, Ingmar Guandique has been convicted for the crime. That means it's officially time to stop thinking her old boss and lover Gary Condit actually did it. [AP]

Here's a trailer for Source Code, the sci-fi thriller from the director of Moon about a device that allows a military man (Jake) to enter the body of someone else for the last eight minutes of their life. Sure, OK.

Officials in tony Hamptons village Sag Harbor are battling art-dealing residents about removing a 16-foot sculpture from their yard. It is a $50,000 pair of legs by controversial artist Larry Rivers. Rich people fight about the stupidest shit.

As expected, the Boy Who Lived raked in oodles of galleons over the weekend, and ought to broom-fly well through Thanksgiving on a raft of positive word-of-mouth. The rest of the movies this weekend? They mostly cowered in fear.

Citizens, take heart: Even as our country falls under the total domination of our new TSA overlords, capitalism continues unabated. A Colorado man has developed undergarments with special body scanner-blocking fig leaves to hide your privates.

This week, the Mexican government auctioned off a cache of narco-bling seized from drug lords in Mexico City. If you were in the market for a $25,000 rosary, this was the place to be! Here are the craziest pieces:

The Yes Men, the group of clever activist/designer pranksters, struck again this week—or tried to. Their target this time? Apple.

It's Saturday morning so there's a good chance you're hung over. Not very fun! But at least you're not this girl, who got stuck in a dryer presumably after some serious drinking. And then her friends put it on YouTube.

Movies! Nobody doesn't like 'em. Everyone likes them even more because they come out on Fridays, which is America's favorite day. So let's take a look at what movies are coming out today, from wizard adventures to prison breaks.

Apparently the "DC handlers" sent to help Nevada Senate candidate Sharron Angle wouldn't let her staff air this crappy ad. It shows old people scouring the desert for Social Security money. Was it too comically amateurish, or not racist enough?

We all knew Harvey Levin's TMZ pays people to leak information to them, as recently fired L.A. County Superior Court spokesman has been accused of doing. But their real secret? Just plant a staffer on the courthouse payroll. [Update below]

Because Gawker is nothing if not a philanthropic organization, we're giving away four copies of the book Special Photographer, a collection of late, great Hollywood photographer Leo Fuchs' work. How to win one? Easy! Just enter a caption contest.