After 18 years of memorizing math equations while chained to a stake, Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld has escaped the basement cage where "superior Chinese mother" Amy Chua keeps her. Unfortunately, she has Stockholm syndrome. Either that, or her mom isn't that bad.

Not only did she insult her ex-husband, but a fellow actress as well. This former child star used to make out with the girl who played his sister. Ricky Gervais would love to make fun of both of these people.

Regis Philbin, venerable 79-year-old host of Live! and other gigs, announced today that he'll be retiring either at the end of the summer or sometime in the fall. Live! cohost Kelly Ripa will eventually be joined by a new partner.

Everyone agrees that a man was shot in in Philadelphia on Monday following an argument. What they can't agree about is why: Was he shot for eating his friend's cake, or for eating his friend's French fries?

Click to viewRemember two weeks ago, when "blood libel" was the ancient allegation that Jews murdered children? Those were the days! Now it means "being falsely accused of having blood on your hands," as former Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin clarified Monday.

A lady in Boston listed her cat on her Census form, and now the cat has been summoned for jury duty.

Want to hear old people sing Sarah Palin's praises to the tune of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic"? Well, enjoy this clip of "Sarah Palin Battle Hymn" anyway! It will be our national anthem when Palin becomes president.

Here's a new full-length trailer for Scream 4, the somewhat gratuitously unnecessary fourquel (retch) in the reference-heavy horror series. The surviving originals are all back, plus a cast of youngs and a whole new set of scary movies to ape.

Turns out Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban welcomed daughter Faith Margaret nearly three weeks ago. Their surrogate gave birth in Nashville on December 28, leaving ample time for the Kidman-Urbans to make it to the Golden Globes last night. [TMZ]

Though elusive about whether or not he'd be asked back next year, the president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association says that Golden Globes host Ricky Gervais "crossed the line" last night, saying several jokes were "totally unacceptable." Touchy touchy!

Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords is recovering quickly from her shooting, but is it quickly enough? Because "a little-known statutory provision in Arizona state law" — the scariest words imaginable — could force a special election for her seat within months.

The Social Network depicts Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg as an antihero who ends up chastened, awkward and lonely. But now that the movie has gleaned $200 million and four Golden Globes, its makers are proclaiming Zuckerberg a valorous rock star.

It's January, and that means it's time for everyone to join a gym and then quickly stop going to the gym out of laziness, in a trend-story-friendly manner. What a goddamn waste of money. Below, ten methods for becoming hardcore.

Award nominations, fabulous clothes, and now a role on Glee that she willed into existence. Also today: Robert Downey Jr. is one smart old dog, the triumphant return of Sarah Michelle Gellar, and some Jennifer Love Hewitt news.

Rep. Gabrielle Giffords' astonishing survival gets even more astonishing: As soon as she could move again, her astronaut husband says, "she spent 10 minutes giving me a neck massage." Wait, seriously?

Soon, America will celebrate the 100th birthday of that actor who was president during the 1980s, Ronald Reagan. How will sons Ron Jr. and Michael honor their father? By bickering on television about whether he had Alzheimer's in office.

A Latin American booze distributor now sells "dram in a can," 12 ounces of whiskey in one vessel. That's eight shots, so they're marketing it as "the perfect size to be shared between three people." Scottish whiskey makers are outraged.

A former Swiss banker provided the names of more than 2,000 prominent tax cheats to Wikileaks, which has promised to quickly release details of the evasion — unlike governments and the media, which apparently buried the scandal.

In a very scientific new science study, researchers found that good-looking people (somehow that was determined, scientifically) had higher IQs than Johnny Weak-Chins or Suzie Beak-Noses. So now we know for sure that hot people are inherently better, especially men.

You may not know that actress, food blogger, and all-around awesome lady Debi Mazar is hosting a new show on the Cooking Channel called Extra Virgin. To celebrate the launch, she taught me how to make pancakes!