Getting text messages from your service provider is incredibly annoying. Especially if you are a suicide bomber, and your bomb is triggered by incoming texts. As one Russian woman learned the hard way.

Before actor Charlie Sheen was rushed to the hospital with a hernia, he was partying with porn star Kacey Jordan—who Tweeted this (basically NSFW) picture of Sheen's coffee table, covered with his party supplies. And her crotch.

The FBI executed more than 40 search warrants today in connection with its investigation into Operation Payback, last month's wave of cyber attacks targeting companies that cut off Wikileaks. Things are not looking good for Anonymous.

According to a new report, killer Tracy Province planned to commit 'suicide by bear' in Yellowstone park this summer while on the lam. Instead, he gave himself up. But how does one commit suicide by bear? Here's how!

Egypt's apparent blocking of Twitter and Facebook amid fierce protests this week was nothing: Now it appears they've blocked the entire internet, as well as text messaging. It's got the whole world watching and wondering: What's next?

Imagine: Your very own, handsomely embossed official Barack Obama birth certificate. It could soon be yours!! A bill introduced in the Hawaii state legislature would allow anyone to get a copy of the president's Hawaii birth records for just $100.

After an appellate court kicked ex-White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel off the Chicago mayoral ballot for flunking residency requirements, the Illinois Supreme Court tentatively ruled he was actually OK to run. Now it's official: Print up those ballots!

President Obama fielded one of the many questions about drugs during his YouTube interview today! And he didn't laugh it off like last time. While he doesn't support legalization, he acknowledges it's an "entirely legitimate topic for debate." Better!

Here's a video of the real stammer-filled speech King George VI gave at the opening of the British Empire Exhibition. It's similar to the speech that begins the Oscar-nominated movie The King's Speech. How faithful was the adaptation?

Indiana Rep. Mike Pence, who has an unusually devout following among conservatives, has announced he won't run for president. Thus concludes an afternoon of speculation that began with a call to his mother.

Japan's Mount Shinmoedake is currently erupting, spewing smoke and ash nearly 10,000 feet in the air. Oh, and there's some lava too. But it wouldn't be a modern natural disaster if it wasn't caught on camera.

Anorexics, rejoice: With asthma inhalers and vaporizers, inventor David Edwards turns physical food into a cloud, which dieters inhale to "sate chocolate or caffeine cravings" with no more than a single calorie. This is straight out of a futuristic farce.

Barack Obama's new press secretary will be Jay Carney, who's been serving as Joe Biden's communications director. Before that he was a Time reporter, so steel yourself for endless "lamestream liberal media" screams from Sarah Palin and whatnot.

John McCain's unedited daughter, Meghan, scolded Rep. Michele Bachmann on MSNBC yesterday, calling her a "poor man's Sarah Palin" and "one rogue woman who couldn't even look into the camera directly." Watch out, Meghan! Michele Bachmann will be president soon.

Charlie Sheen threw a party at his home last night. It ended this morning when he headed off to the hospital complaining of abdominal pain. Partying with five women at once is only for the healthiest of men, clearly.

David Kato, a Ugandan gay rights activist and one of the people outed by local newspaper last October, was found dead in his home. One suspect is in custody and another, who supposedly lived with Kato, is still at large.

Barack Obama's YouTube Q&A session starts at 2:30 this afternoon! Which submitted questions will he answer? Because among the top 200 questions as voted by users, only two aren't about the war on drugs or marijuana prohibition.

Oh gosh, something to be concerned about: people now are just going to cheap gyms and working out and leaving, rather than indulging in the "community" of group classes and flirting and juice bars. Will gyms ever be annoying again?

Time's Mark Halperin has it "confirmed by sources" that the anonymous author behind O: A Presidential Novel is Mark Salter, the former right hand man to John McCain. He's been hiding in Maine, writing this thing!

Media mogul Barry Diller was driving his Maserati through a snowy Central Park this morning when it got stuck. Luckily Katie Couric happened by to help push it out—in the wrong direction. Rich people really don't "get" snow.