An article in the January edition of the journal Substance Abuse covers "snake bite as a novel form of substance abuse." Novel indeed! Apparently people are purposely getting bitten by snakes to to get high. Here's one case from the article:

The annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) starts tomorrow in Washington, D.C. You may think that hanging out with the likes of Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney, talking about why poor people are to blame for all of America's problems, sounds about as appealing as an icepick to the eye.

Ex-congressman Chris Lee knows a thing or two about the dangers of the Internet. In June 2009, he penned this op-ed in the Tonawanda News explaining why he helped pass legislation that would "educate students on the dangers of the Internet." Guess the lesson plan didn't include a section on why it's a bad idea to send sexy half-naked pictures to random women on Craigslist using your real name and e-mail address.

Lindsay Lohan had her millionth day in court today, this time to be arraigned on grand theft charges related to a necklace she supposedly stole from a store. She has to pony up $20,000 bail for that charge and another $20,000 for violating her parole for a string of DUIs that she already served a brief sentence for.

"I have to work this out with my wife." —Craigslist Congressman Christopher Lee, to Fox News.

Breast cancer shocker! Gum healthiness! Lonely exercising! Teen girl suicide! Young strokes! Egg cholesterol! Diet soda heart attack! Baby obesity! And L.A.'s official guide to ecstasy! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—while rolling, in the official style!

More great news from the wonderful world of Wikileaks: Saudi Arabia is running out of oil! According to a former top Saudi oil executive, as recorded in State Department cables between 2007 and 2009, "Peak Oil" — the pinch point at which global petroleum production reaches its maximum capacity — is a very real problem that we're rapidly approaching.

Justin Bieber, a Furbie toy given the ability to sing, held the LA premiere for his 3D concert movie Never Say Never last night. The red carpet was even uglier than usual. Let's take a look at all the atrocities unleashed by The Biebz.

Thanks to the Great Recession's magical cleansing powers, all of the home ownership gains of the past decade's housing boom have already been erased. But there is good news! The affordability of homes has plummeted back down to pre-boom levels in the majority of markets that Moody's surveys. Finally, a home is back in your non-imaginary price range!

Animal Planet is offering free pest control for anyone in the five boroughs with "severe pest infestations of any kind, from cockroaches and bedbugs to rats and raccoons. No infestation is too severe for their team."

A 20-year-old British woman died after receiving cosmetic injections to enhance her butt. The procedure took place in a hotel room outside of the Philadelphia airport. If there's one thing you don't want to skimp out on, it's plastic surgery!

Here' s a new trailer for Disney's Prom, a movie all about the one night of your life when you can feel special and carefree and perfect. It's all downhill after the prom, for sure. The movie seems a bit like a teen version of ensemble comedies like—shudder—Valentine's Day.

Ever since the Egyptian protests began two weeks ago, the conservative movement has been struggling to spread a lockstep message through its top spokespeople.

In your rearranged Wednesday media column: CBS laughably asks Katie Couric to stay, New Yorker fact checking goes above and beyond, AOL stock shakes off HuffPo's purchase price, Keith Olbermann is as calm and dignified as always, and Joshy Tyrangiel, profiled.

Rep. Christopher Lee is a married Republican congressman serving the 26th District of New York. But when he trolls Craigslist's "Women Seeking Men" forum, he's Christopher Lee, "divorced" "lobbyist" and "fit fun classy guy." One object of his flirtation told us her story.

After horrendously botching its post-Super Bowl slot, Glee bounced right back and reminded us why we love it in the first place. And the show did it with the most sentimental and saccharine weapon in the TV arsenal: a Valentine's Day episode.

Scrappy Reddit is doubling sales and engineering staff to keep up with traffic gains. But don't thank the social news site's parent company: Condé Nast starved Reddit of money, so the site paid for expansion using member contributions.

Victoria Beckham's favorite hobby: Staring at her husband when he is naked. Hey, if you were married to David Beckham, you'd do it too. And maybe even if you weren't. [Images via Pacific Coast News]

The Associated Press' Adam Goldman and Matt Apuzzo have a breathtaking-but-sadly-unsurprising story detailing the CIA's habit of promoting the very people responsible for the Agency's most spectacular fuck-ups. The analyst responsible for illegally abducting, drugging, sodomizing, and beating a completely innocent man because she thought he was someone else? She's running the hunt for bin Laden now. The guy who let a prisoner freeze to death in Afghanistan? He oversees spying operations in the Middle East.

Since the days of the Founding Fathers, the American promise to its students has been: we'll warehouse you in crappy schools for twelve years, and then send you to the local community college, to get an associate's degree in "business services" or some other synonym for secretarial work and/ or air conditioning repair work.