Wisconsin's 14 Democratic Senators are still hiding out-of-state to stop a vote on Gov. Scott Walker's "budget repair bill," the one that goes out of its way to destroy public sector unions.

Now that Ronnie and Sammi are broken up, we can return to the fun and frivolity of Jersey Shore, the most important sociological experiment of our time. Between the clogged toilets, the soiled panties, and the return of old foes, there was a lot going on.

Oprah Winfrey's opulent vanity project, the Leadership Academy for Girls in Johannesburg, continues its tragic slide from hope-filled dream-school to dysfunctional hellhole. First there were Winfrey's attempts to cut off her students from their families. Then there was the school matron accused of sexually molesting the girls. And now a 17-year-old student there has concealed her pregnancy and given birth to a child that was found dead "in a plastic bag filled with bloodied clothes."

Inevitably, Justin Bieber has inflamed both the left and the right with his controversial Rolling Stone interview. Will Bieber become the latest casualty of our never-ending culture wars?

Are you cursed with spoiled children, $25,000 to burn, and a desire to make your already-wealthy kids even more unbearable by marinating them in an all-encompassing sauce of privilege?

Last night we saw everyone lip-sync for their lives! Or, no, sorry, I was confusing this show for a second with everyone's favorite public access game show RuPaul's Drag Race. No, last night on American Idol everyone sang for their lives, blessedly unencumbered by a group, beautifully backed up by Idol band Disco Danny and the Uptown Five.

The House Republicans' top anti-abortion guy, Rep. Chris Smith of the lovely No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act fame, was reading some graphic details of abortion cases in the chamber last night. This is America's National Bedtime Story routine, now that Republicans are back in power, and it should continue even after they've defunded Planned Parenthood.

Country living is dial-up internet living, in America!

A man says he stole Paris Hilton's fancy birthday cake, and offers photographic proof. Lindsay Lohan goes clubbing, then home with Samantha Ronson. Ashlee Simpson parties until sunrise with sk8er bois. TGIFriday gossip.

This star traded in the big screen for setting up C-Listers on "dates." This actor may quit his show to keep from cheating with his costar, and this fashion editor fired an assistant for not picking up her Xanax. Maybe the madam has an opening?

Human Rights Watch yesterday reported that at least 24 demonstrators had been killed in Libya over the last two days, and some speculate that that number could be much higher. In terms of communication and the availability of reliable news, Libya closer resembles North Korea than many of its neighbors. And besides ordering riot police and special forces to crack down on protests in Benghazi and other cities, Brother Leader Muammar Qaddafi has taken a page from the Hosni Mubarak playbook, according to the HRW report:

Britney Spears—who released a brand-new music video Thursday night—is moving! The pop singer is rumored to have purchased or leased a 19,107 square foot mansion on a 3.39 acre piece of property in Hidden Hills, the Los Angeles gated community where Jennifer Lopez, Marc Anthony the Osbournes, and the Kardashian Klan all live.

Wisconsin State Senator Lena Taylor is, along with her Democratic colleagues, on the lam, having fled the state to stop Governor Scott Walker's union-busting idiot bill (introduced to fix a budget crisis he himself created) from coming to a vote. You may have known about the senatorial exodus because you read about it in the news, or, if you are a really plugged-in type person, you may have found out through Taylor's Facebook account, to which she posted, this afternoon, as a status update "brb." And that, social media consultants, is how you do it. [Lena Taylor's Facebook Page via Wonkette; images via Facebook]

Who is the Chet Haze of Uganda? Possibly Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni, who is considering releasing "quite a big album of the classics." A big rap album, he means! This may seem ambitious for a man who once said, "today these young people taught me about this 'rap'. I was not following what they were saying," but his single "You want another rap?" (listen above) has, according to Reuters, become a "smash hit," after a somewhat unorthodox recording process:

Popular Mechanics has a feature this month called "Confessions of an Apple Store Employee," wherein an employee dishes about life in an Apple store. One thing stuck out: Apple stores are apparently swarming with drug dealers. Said the anonymous Apple store employee:

It's time for all the designers, models, and assorted hangers on to finally head home and get over the constant champagne buzz of New York Fashion Week. Yes, today is the final day of the festivities, and we're still bringing you the best images of the day, like this model at Elie Tahari, who does not want to be messed with. [Image via Getty]

After reading that Justin Bieber favors Canadian-style health care, Rep. Chris Murphy (D-CT) went boldly where no member of Congress had gone before:

All 14 of Wisconsin's Democratic Senators have fled the state to deny Republicans a vote on their union-busting budget proposal, and to hide from Wisconsin police. Gov. Scott Walker has asked to please return to work, damnit. But where are they? Some generic motel in Illinois? Yes!

Among the 400+ amendments filed earlier this week for the House Republicans' upcoming spending package was this little gem from GOP Rep. Steve Womack: cutting funding for the president's teleprompter. This machine has been the source of many hilarious Republican jokes over the last two years, like, "Did you see how Barack Obama read his speech off a teleprompter? Bwah ha ha, what an idiot."

A Pennsylvania woman was arrested after showing police a picture of herself next to her 2-year-old daughter bound to a chair with duct tape. This has got to be the dumbest lady around.