In advance of Sunday night's Academy Awards, a million magazines and websites have been predicting who will end up winning the big awards. But what about all the other things people will be talking about Monday morning? Here are our predictions for the things you really care about.

Well! It's happened. The power has been thrown to us as the judges have whittled the tributes down to a manageable 24 and now it's in our hands. Are we ready? More importantly, are we excited?

Women begin to flee Charlie Sheen and CBS cancels his show, but he says they just "can't handle my power." Dianna Agron's "psycho" ex-boyfriend's house catches fire. Christina Aguilera gets drunk and bangs her boyfriend in the bathroom at a family get-together. TGIFriday gossip.

This celeb is making ends meet selling her junk at auction. This misbehaving celebrity is bipolar, and this actress went on a public rampage after her man cheated. Would anyone like to bid on one of them?

The South Korean military today sent tens of thousands of helium balloons toward North Korea with leaflets informing people there of the revolutions taking place across the Middle East and reading, "a dictatorial regime is destined to collapse," according to Bloomberg.

Know why Hollywood shouldn't take money from the son of a repressive North African dictator, no matter how nice he seems? His dad might one day go even more batshit crazy and order the mass murder of his own people when they start demanding freedom. Then you're going to look like shitheads.

Charlie Sheen gave a ranty interview today to conservative radio host Alex Jones while he vacationed in the Bahamas. In less than 20 minutes, Sheen claimed he cured his alcoholism "with my mind," referred to his porn star lovers as his "goddesses," called out his imagined opponents—"fools and trolls"— in macho-baroque soliloquies, and insulted Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre in anti-Semitic fashion: "I violently hate Chaim Levine (Chuck Lorre). He's a stupid, stupid little man and a pussy punk that I'd never want to be like."

Zachary Chesser, the 21-year-old man who threatened violence against South Park's creators for depicting Mohammad on teevee, was sentenced to 25 years in jail today for inciting violence and providing material support to terrorists. He regrets doing these things.

The lady network has had success with the Holloway story before, so they're going again. Great. Also today: a show gets canceled, Paul Rudd is the king of Ireland, and Kim Kardashian takes a stab at legitimacy.

John McCain, who had never been a Maverick until he returned to being a Maverick just a few weeks ago, has won Washington's juiciest prize: America's Most Conservative Senator. At least according to whatever algorithm National Journal uses to crap out such scores.

Remember when all those people left Ireland thanks to the potato famine and then your grandparents would never shut up about it? Uh oh, it's happening again! (The leaving Ireland part.)

Each one of the 1,926 teachers working for the Providence School Department was sent a dismissal notice this week, in a move officials say was necessary to deal with a projected deficit of almost $40 million next year.

Rolling Stone is trying to add another general to its head count: Michael Hastings, the reporter who dispatched Gen. Stanley McChrystal last year, is reporting that Gen. William Caldwell, who is in charge of training Afghan forces, used Army psychological operations troops to try to influence VIP visitors, including U.S. senators.

During a recent Real Housewives marathon, I came to a realization: You can identify a rich lady's hometown by the look on her face. Trend-wise, it turns out that cosmetic surgery is more like cosmetics than surgery: Women who live near and socialize with each other end up looking physically similar by dint of plumping, slicing, lifting, and blasting with Botox. A guide to the surgically enhanced faces of Real Housewives.

Everyone was befuddled when the news dropped that instead of some familiar old-ish white man or Whoopi Goldberg, this year's Oscar hosts would be Anne Hathaway and James Franco. Well, the James Franco bit just seemed like yet another weird event in his performance art career of being weird, so sure, OK. But the Hathaway angle remained confusing. Now we see why!

The elegantly named Madison, Wisconsin police chief Noble Wray has listened to the David Koch impersonator's prank call with Gov. Scott Walker re: smushin' up unions, and he has a few questions! Namely: What "trouble" did Walker think about planting in the crowds of protesters before backing off for practical considerations?

Encouraging news from the trend-heavy New York City dating world: single ladies have money now! Seventeen percent more money than their twentysomething male counterparts, according to a study that was immediately seized upon and churned into a New York Post trend story. You know what that means, fellas? Now it's time for you to have a "sugar mama!" Here's the scoop from one wealthy lady who gives her age as "29:"

First PayPal cut ties to Wikileaks, claiming the secret-spilling web site violated its terms of service. Now it has frozen the account of a group that raises funds for Bradley Manning's defense.

Natalie Portman's bones look amazing in Black Swan, right? So maybe being a vegan and going to ballet class will make you look like her, right? Wrong!

Here's a clip from China's "Jasmine Revolution" protests on Sunday in Beijing, where a smiling U.S. Ambassador (and possible presidential candidate) Jon Hunstman walks into the middle of the crowd! He tells the cameraman that he's just there "to look around," and he then leaves. The video (with its hilarious soundtrack) was posted on the Chinese nationalist site M4 along with this breathless warning about U.S. meddling: