Not invited to the 83rd annual Academy Awards ceremony tonight? Don't have a swanky Oscar party to go to? Don't worry! You can hang here with us and help us cover Hollywood's biggest night.

The conservative transparency advocates at Judicial Watch have obtained some new documents from the late Sen. Ted Kennedy's massive, heavily-redacted FBI file. One interesting bit: During a trip to South America in 1961, then-Assistant District Attorney Kennedy had a party at a brothel: "while Kennedy was in Santiago made arrangements to 'rent' a brothel for an entire night. Kennedy allegedly invited one of the Embassy chauffeurs to participate in the night's activities." Kennedy was in South America to meet various "left-wingers," and Communists, according to the memo. (To what end? The memo doesn't say.) Diplomacy was different back in the 60s, one hopes.

The UN Security Council is meeting today to discuss Libya, while Muammar el-Qaddafi continues to kill his own people. Also, parts of Tripoli are fighting back. Here's a look at what's happening across the Middle East and North Africa today:

Forecasts call for snow this weekend in San Francisco. This has transformed the burrito-and-coffee-bloated populace into squealing schoolkids, breathlessly shooting their excitement around the Internet via Facebook-enabled shoes, or whatever's hot in Silicon Valley these days:

The weekend has finally arrived, which means new movies! It's not the best crop of releases this week, as we're in the late-winter doldrums of cinema. But here they are anyway. Nicolas Cage is angry, Owen Wilson is horny, and God is sad.

Newt Gingrich tweeted something marvelous the other day, in response to a typical, prodding liberal questioning his belief in dinosaurs: "not only do I believe in dinosaurs I had a t rex skull in speakers office to remind us they used to think they were important too." Bullshit. You had the skull of a Tyrannosaurus Rex in your House Speaker's office, to teach life lessons? That belonged in a museum! No but really, it was the Smithsonian's property.

Koch Industries executives are reacting to the prank call pulled on Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker (R) this week, where a blogger got through to the governor by posing as David Koch. In an interview with National Review Online, Koch Industries executive vice president Richard Fink says the Koch brothers will not "back off."

How many times has this happened to you? You're watching your favorite show, which you recorded on your DVR, and right before the final joke or the big reveal, the recording cuts off and you miss the ultimate payoff? Why can't television get it right?

Did you know that today is a "Day of Rage" across the Muslim world, where bone-weary citizens are finally taking to the streets against their corrupt dictators? Seems like as good a time as any for Vogue to publish a fawning profile of the "glamorous, young, and very chic" wife of Syria's brutal tyrant, right?

Chris Lee's resignation from the House on Feb. 9 may be the quickest political downfall in history: It came just three hours after Gawker published a photo of Lee standing in the mirror shirtless, along with a story about how the married congressman dabbled in a little online dating on Craigslist.

Pregnancy stress! Suzanne Somers cures cancer! Kidney transplant fight! Elderly STDs! Locked in happiness! Lady PTSD! Boxing fitness! Charlie Sheen rehab! And monster testing! It's your Friday Health Watch, where we watch your health—one child at a time!

The last decent president we had in this country, George W. Bush, was all set to give tomorrow night's keynote address at the clunky Young Presidents' Organization's Global Leadership Conference, in Denver. But then who shows up at the conference today, via satellite of course, but Wikileaks founder Julian Assange, the gravest threat to global civilization since Garfield 2: A Tail of Two Kitties. Can't have that! So Bush has canceled.

The Oxford Dictionaries Online have added a "buttload" of new words, many of which are related to the internet and texting. Yes, "buttload" is one. So is "sexting." Now we're never going to get rid of that horrible word. There are more.

Professional television entertainer Donald Trump got a little boost for his pretend presidential prospects the other day, when a poll came out showing him within two percentage points of Barack Obama in a hypothetical presidential matchup. He proudly, and immediately, flapped his gums about this in the YouTube clip above. Maybe we underestimated him and his ability to enchant dumb America by firing people in a cardboard corporate boardroom for all these terrible, terrible years. Maybe he should be our greatest next president after all.

Georgia Rep. Paul Broun is in trouble after it was revealed that the first question at a town hall event he hosted this week was, 'Who's going to shoot Obama?' The crowd laughed at this hilarious joke and so, reportedly, did Rep. Broun. A great scoop—and one broken by a random newspaper commenter.

Hollywood's and, really, the nation's biggest night of the year, the Academy Awards ceremony, is almost here! There's a good chance some of you have been hoodwinked into throwing a few dollars into an office Oscar pool, so we'd like to help you. Here are our picks for who and what are going to win the precious trophies.

Of all the creatures on Jersey Shore, the most important sociological experiment of our time, Snooki is possibly the most vulnerable. Last night we saw attacks on the little heffalump from all directions. She barely survived, and there is danger on the horizon.

The White House doesn't appoint nearly enough openly gay people for administration positions, it's been said, by someone, at some point. But now that's all over. They have appointed an openly gay man, Jeremy Bernard, to be secretary of defense. No just kidding; America isn't "there" yet. He'll be White House social secretary.

Facebook has disabled Breakup Notifier, the controversial app that automatically informed you when a girl or guy you fancied changed their relationship status to single. Into the void steps WaitingRoom, which represents a massive leap in Facebook-stalking technology.

So this is how former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty thinks he's going to get a few people — up to four, we'll say — interested in his presidential candidacy: Michael Bay style action movies, about everything. First there was the generic teaser, from a few weeks ago. Now he's made one in support of Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker and his union-smushin' efforts. It directs you to a website, StandingWithScott.com, which redirects you to Tim Pawlenty's "Freedom First" PAC. TPaw's one clever motherfucker, eh? That's why he'll keep making these great, apocalyptic action movies, forever.