Being a comic book hero is not enough: Mark Zuckerberg is an action figure too, courtesy of the people who created last year's Steve Jobs action figure. Note the presence of "fuck you" sandals. [MIC Gadget via Mashable]

New York Rep. Peter King will begin his hearings about The Growing Threat of Radicalized American Muslims in Congress tomorrow. See that, American Muslims? You get hearings now. You can thank Pete King later.

Time to check in with an old friend: Jason Hope—the Arizona entrepreneur whose $500,000 Christmas party made him the "Party King of Scottsdale" and ignited fake-baked nightlife warfare—is getting sued. Verizon Wireless has launched a legal battle against 26 people and companies they say are fleecing consumers with "premium messaging services," i.e., when your grandma gets a spam text message that enters her into an automatic billing cycle without her consent. Verizon says Hope is "the mastermind behind defendants' fraudulent and deceptive practices."

On Monday we learned about a curious new venture from Premiere Radio Networks that offers radio shows "voice talent to take/make your on-air calls"—in other words, fake talk-radio callers.

Columnist David Broder, who held top reporting positions and then an opinion slot at the Washington Post for so long that he'd been called "dean of the Washington press corps" for 50 years, died at 81 today of complications from diabetes.

The GOOP mistress herself, Gwyneth Paltrow, returned to reprise her role as substitute teacher Holly Holiday and she taught everyone about how to get dirty. Gwynnie isn't my idea of a sexy, but this was another successful appearance.

NASA's most-flown shuttle, Discovery, landed for the final time today at the Kennedy Space Center in Florida. Over the course of 39 missions spanning the course of 26 years, Discovery traveled 148,221,665 miles. Career highlights: Launched the Hubble telescope, delivered new modules to the International Space Station. NASA's other two remaining space shuttles—Endeavour and Atlantis—are scheduled for the glue factory later this year. [ABCNews, Image of Discovery above the northwest coast of Morocco via AP]

The terrible, no good hurricane that's been raging in Florida for the past couple weeks continues to rage on in terrible, no good fashion. A boy got a car, an old lady got drunk, and art was ruined forever.

Since likely presidential candidate Willard "Mitt" Romney is going to be the next Barack Obama, he needs to dress in a way that shows his unbreakable bond with America's youth culture. He's realizing that the blue blazer and slacks look might incorrectly pigeonhole him as a "square." But what to wear?

TV funny lady Kathy Griffin stopped by Gawker HQ on Tuesday afternoon for a few hours of very hard labor. She delivered lunch, got us beverages, and even wrote her first ever blog post. She even chewed out Gawker chief Nick Denton. Take a look at how she spent her day as our indentured servant.

When news broke yesterday of a former American Apparel employee's $260 million lawsuit against CEO Dov Charney for allegedly sexually harassing her and forcing her into sex, the initial reports left out the accuser's name. But this is a civil suit, not a criminal rape case, and the plaintiff's name is public record. A.A. itself named her in its statement, saying that she'd signed a severance agreement when she left the company agreeing not to sue them.

Charlie Sheen says he's "ready to call anyone for help," but is this just another senseless rant, or has his mania abated? Lindsay Lohan's maybe-stolen necklace hits the auction block. Amanda Seyfried gets Botox at 25. Wednesday gossip crashes into a deep depression.

This famous lady says she's volunteering at a woman's shelter, but she's really going to the free clinic for weekly treatment. These two co-stars have a long-standing feud. They should build bridges by talking about their "volunteer work."

New research by a team of American doctors indicates that people living in England are healthier than people living in the United States. And no one knows why!

Tera Myers, a science teacher at Parkway North High School in Missouri, sought administrative leave after one of her students found out she'd been a porn actress some 15 years earlier. Sad! And sadder still that it's not the first time it's happened to her:

Citing unnamed "sources," NY1 reports that director Julie Taymor is leaving the troubled Spider-man musical Turn Off the Dark. The news comes a day after The New York Times wrote about ongoing "negotiations" between Taymor and the musical's producers, including U2 members Bono and the Edge, who wrote the musical's songs.

Say what you will about Celebrity Rehab ("completely and utterly despicable," for example, or, "the absolute and unquestionable nadir of Western culture"), at least it has standards: The show has apparently kicked out Real Housewives, uh, star Michaele Salahi for not being addicted to anything.

Would you like to live inside a hidden bunker in an Italian mansion? A vacancy may open up in one soon! Police in the Italian state of Calbrian had to drag alleged crime-syndicate boss Francesco Maisano out of his during an international bust of 31 suspected mafia goons (or gooni in Italian).

Remember when all those birds died in Arkansas and you were pretty sure the world was ending so you wrote that kinda creepy letter to your high school boyfriend? And then the world didn't end, and you were like, crap. Well, looks like the apocalypse is back on! Millions of dead fish just popped up (literally) in Redondo Beach, Calfornia:

Hormone diets! Slow eating! Teen dying! Teen drinking! Greek eating! Urethra growing! Big loser-ing! Cartoon food! And incompetent old people driving around dangerously! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—unconventionally!