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All Hail the Return of Sharron Angle

Jim Newell · 03/16/11 03:20PM

America's about to get fixed, everyone, because Sharron Angle is returning to politics! Angle, a comical nutcase, was last seen losing a Nevada Senate race in a strong Republican year to Harry Reid, one of the most disliked persons in the nation. But now she's getting everyone back together for a House run in 2012, as she announced with this delightful video today.

Christina Aguilera's Nut House

Richard Lawson · 03/16/11 03:10PM

Christina Aguilera, the singer currently in training to become the next reclusive former diva who acts erratically during rare public appearances, has put her 10,000 sq.ft. Beverly Hills mansion on the market for $13.5 million. It features six bedrooms and a ridiculous nine bathrooms, one of which is likely cursed and/or haunted. It's also likely that another bathroom has become Ms. Aguilera's de facto sleeping quarters. It's just how these things work. [Real Estalker]

Larry Crowne: America's Sweethearts, In Love at Last

Richard Lawson · 03/16/11 01:15PM

Here's a trailer for Larry Crowne, the romantic comedy starring Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks, who also directed and co-wrote. While these two-biggest-American-movie-stars have been on screen together, in Charlie Wilson's War, this is their first time smooching and falling in love. America is healed?

Glee: Original Recipe

Brian Moylan · 03/16/11 12:55PM

At their big Regional competition the New Directions introduced their first original songs. It was with great fear and trepidation we watched, because they were sure to be a disaster. We were all proven right—and wrong.

Everyone Involved in American Education Is Broke

Hamilton Nolan · 03/16/11 12:41PM

America is full of dumb people. We all need education, and lots of it. The problem is, getting involved in education in America in any capacity is a one-way ticket to poverty. Must we always remain dumb, forever?

What Is This Thing That Charlie Sheen Invented?

John Cook · 03/16/11 12:27PM

Did you know Charlie Sheen is an inventor and holds a genuine U.S. patent? It's true. It's not a sex toy (although it sure looks like one). But if his $100 million lawsuit against Warner Bros. and Two and a Half Men producer Chuck Lorre doesn't work out, he can always fall back on the crazy business schemes he hatched in the 1990s. Here's a survey.

Real Housewives of Miami: Pigs in Hell

Richard Lawson · 03/16/11 12:11PM

Last night's episode of Bravo's real-life Dexter series, joy and decorum continued to be brutally murdered by the coven of old witches that stalks the beaches and swamps of southern Florida.

Courtney Love Wants to Snort Kurt Cobain's Ashes

Maureen O'Connor · 03/16/11 10:23AM

Courtney Love offers to "take a metal straw" to Kurt Cobain's remains. Charlie Sheen enters the t-shirt business. Gilbert Gottfried regrets his tsunami jokes. Joe Jonas swears he's not gay. Wednesday gossip communes with the beyond.

Which Actress Had a Surprise Pregnancy?

Brian Moylan · 03/16/11 09:59AM

This young leading lady has a bunch of work lined up, and a bun in the oven wasn't on the schedule. This director hires hookers, this actor is having a gay affair, this actor's wife is getting it on with the gardener, and this tween is buying drugs off the street. Kids these days, they're either doped up or pregnant!

Fight of the Conchords

Max Read · 03/16/11 03:02AM

Flight of the Conchords' Jemaine Clement, who clearly didn't learn anything in celebrity school, attempted to disperse the crowd that had gathered around in New York on Monday by splashing everyone with water. Only to have himself splashed back with hot chocolate. [images via Bauer-Griffin]

Is NASA Selling Cocaine to Aliens?

Max Read · 03/16/11 02:13AM

A small packet of cocaine has been found at NASA's Kennedy Space Center, almost exactly 14 months after cocaine was last found at the Kennedy Space Center, as keen observers of space and/or cocaine will no doubt note. But does this indicate that NASA is the most fun government agency—or that it's a front organization for a vast, interplanetary drug ring? Seems to us it's time to put the space-detectives on the case! (This can be the basis for the sixth season of The Wire.) When asked if the recent discovery had any link to the death of a NASA contractor on Monday, spokeswoman Renee Juhans said, "maybe." No, ha, she actually said "no comment." And then she had the reporter whacked. [AFP]

New York City Spends $75 Million a Year on Pot Busts

Max Read · 03/15/11 09:46PM

A new report from the Drug Policy Alliance alleges that New York City is currently spending something like $75 million every year on low-level marijuana possession charges—the vast majority of which are directed at black and Latino youths.

Meet the World's Most Expensive Dog

Max Read · 03/15/11 08:47PM

This is Big Splash, a red Tibetan mastiff who was just sold for 10 million yuan—$1.5 million—to a "multi-millionaire coal baron" in China. That may seem like a lot of money to you, but did you know that Big Splash is actually 70 feet tall, made of clay, and will grant you a wish if you answer three riddles?

Chloe Sevigny Has Gone Legit

Richard Lawson · 03/15/11 05:08PM

The art house's favorite princess is establishing herself on premium cable, just like a regular actress. Also today: some women you may like have landed pilot roles, Mark Wahlberg might take a second round in the boxing ring, and an American Idol theory.