The body of Jerry William McDonald, a 68-year-old man from Oregon, was discovered by Forest Service rangers on Thursday, tucked inside a sleeping bag in his truck. With him was the homemade calendar on which he chronicled his activities for the nearly 70 days he survived after a heavy snowstorm on Valentine's Day trapped his vehicle just four miles from the nearest town.

It pretty much goes without saying that Renee Graziano is the star of Mob Wives—I mean, come on, she followed up one bar fight with a second bar fight—so naturally, the highlight of tonight's episode features her. Is it just me, or is there something different about her face?

Yesterday, we brought you the very worst (and therefore the best) offering from the 2011 Eurovision contest: Moldova's entry "So Lucky," which wasn't so much a catchy pop song as it was a command performance by the Satan-worshipping garden gnomes living inside David Lynch's small intestine. Today, we bring you the very best (and therefore the very worst) that this surreal music competition has to offer. It's this year's winner, "Running Scared," from dark horse competitor Azerbaijan. If you can make it past the two-minute mark, you're rewarded with cascades of hellfire.

Here's one of the scattered pictures of the smiles Arnold Scharzenegger and Maria Shriver are in the process of leaving behind. It was sent to us by photographer Brad Elterman, who snapped the couple back in 1977 at a Las Vegas charity softball tournament hosted by Kenny Rogers. As Elterman recalls, "He was totally cool and loved the attention of my camera, but Maria made a hissy fit about having her photo taken."

A veterinarian in Grand Rapids is offering a $500 reward for anyone who knows who shot his new friend, Bow the Cat, with a bow and arrow. A what? Yep—as it turns out, this sort of awful thing happens fairly often.

Remember Erik Prince, the creepy former CEO of mercenary firm Blackwater (now called Xe), who fled the United States for the United Arab Emirates after selling his company? What's that zany dude up to now? Oh, just forming a mercenary army at the behest of the United Arab Emirates' autocratic crown prince, with the tacit approval of the U.S. government.

If you think America's criminal justice system for humans is bad, the system set up for sea lions is even worse. For sea lions, just eating too much can earn you the death penalty.

Here in New York City, we are awed and frightened by hailstorms, which seem to us as eclipses must have once seemed to premodern humanity. In Indiana, one-and-a-half-inch hail just means you have to put your t-shirt over your head while you mow your lawn, as this gentleman demonstrates.[via I Heart Chaos]

After the online vigilante group Anonymous attacked his websites last October, KISS bassist Gene Simmons promised to hunt the perpetrators down and "sue their pants off." In an interview this week he struck a much softer tone.

All around the world people have started planking—lying face-down, stiff, and expressionless across cheerleaders, their pet camels, and other weird and dangerous places, then posting pics of their stunts online. It's pretty fun, when nothing terrible and tragic happens.

The state of Wisconsin was deeply disgraced over the weekend as its foremost representative, Miss Wisconsin USA, admitted to identity theft. Shaletta Porterfield, who worked at a marketing company last summer, told police that she forged the signatures of clients in order to meet her commission goals. She likely won't see any jail time (according to her lawyer, she didn't benefit monetarily from her actions, and stopped working at the firm in August), but she will have live with the knowledge that she brought deep and abiding shame upon the Miss USA pageant. [Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel via NYDN]

Given that the nation's credit rating bureaus have names that are somewhat nightclubby — "see you later on at Club Experian!" — it almost makes sense that they maintain VIP lists. Almost.

Two New York City police officers disciplined for "hooker trouble" are apparently being investigated in relation to the murders of four prostitutes whose bodies turned up on a Long Island beach earlier this year.

Child Protective Services drops by the hospital to pay Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon a visit. Miranda Lambert "harvests" some venison for her wedding. Arnold and Sly go out for lunch. Sunday gossip is just friends with Salman Rushdie, really.

The next time you're getting drunk in some bar — let's call it Boomer's — and a stranger suddenly offers to take you to the bank and help you open up a new account, maybe don't go with them. Yeah, just keep on drinking.

Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the head of the International Monetary Fund and an likely candidate for France's upcoming presidential elections, was arrested on Saturday and charged with attempted rape for allegedly sexually assaulting a cleaning woman at his hotel room.

Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee won't run for president! The Fox News host, who led in several polls released over the last few months, said it was a "spiritual decision," which we think means he used a Ouija board.

It's been a while since Saturday Night Live has aired "The Ambiguously Gay Duo"—its classic animated sketch about a couple of superheroes who may also be an actual couple—so when it appeared on screen during tonight's episode, many were pleasantly surprised. But then the sketch suddenly transformed into a live-action one—featuring appearances by Jimmy Fallon, Jon Hamm, Steve Carell, Stephen Colbert and host Ed Helms—and "pleasantly surprised" instantly became a huge understatement.

Yesterday, a New York City hot dog vendor celebrated Friday the 13th—both the day and the horror film—by slashing up a rival vendor's face. Though "authentic," slashing your competitor isn't an effective marketing strategy in the long run.

Self-described "math nerd" Hannah Surber, who is female, has earned a master's degree in aeronautical engineering. What? Aeronautical engineering is a "very challenging discipline, particularly for a female student," as a professor at her school astutely points out.