Poor Newt Gingrich, things just aren't going as perfectly as he'd imagined in this early presidential campaign of strange nonsense. Consider this fellow Gingrich met in Iowa yesterday. He doesn't want to be Gingrich's friend; he just wants to chastise him for throwing Rep. Paul Ryan under the bus. "Why don't you get out before you make a bigger fool of yourself?" he tells Gingrich, while still shaking his hand for like ten seconds.

The troubled starlet is on the mend and sending the internet racy pictures of herself. The Situation sued his own father, Lindsay Lohan gets kicked out a party, Leonardo DiCaprio is dating a Gossip Girl. Tuesday's gossip just wants to relax on a beach somewhere.

You didn't think the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals telling Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss to go away forever would actually get them to drop their crap Facebook lawsuit, did you? They're taking this thing all the way to the Supreme Court!

Well, the twenty-third season of Gossip Girl has come to an end and everyone has scattered for the summer. Blair is off to Monaco, Serena to California, Dan (and Erik….) to the Hamptons, and Nate and Chuck to god only knows where. Let's see how they got there.

These famous siblings are at odds because one slept with the other's man. This celeb is pissed at his famous ex because she had sex with one of his friends. Even when it's blind, betrayal still stings.

Before Arnold Schwarzenegger ran for governor of California, he was busy impregnating "a longtime member of [his family's] household staff," according to a report in the Los Angeles Times and a statement from Schwarzenegger.

Austin Whitney, a 22-year-old UC Berkeley grad paralyzed in a 2007 car accident (he got drunk and hit a tree), fulfilled a dream today that most of us would take entirely for granted: He walked seven steps to collect his diploma, with the help of a motorized exoskeleton. Watch the video and be inspired. (And don't drink and drive.) [PopSci]

After receiving an invitation from Bill O'Reilly to appear on his show and debate whether or not the rapper Common should have been invited to a poetry reading at the White House, Jon Stewart showed up tonight as promised and attempted to interject some logic into the controversy. And because we would never expect you to suffer through an entire episode of the Factor yourself, here are the best four minutes of O'Reilly and Stewart's debate.

If we've learned anything from the cautionary tale of Dilbert creator Scott Adams, it's that masquerading as your own biggest fan on the internet can come back to bite you in the ass. You'd think that lesson might have sunk in by now for Real Housewives of New York City star Jill Zarin, who we've already caught once writing glowing Amazon user reviews for her own advice book (while accusing its critics of being antisemites). But someone — not saying it's Jill! Could be anyone really! Innocent until proven Zarin!— has been bombarding the Vulture comments section with suspiciously pro-Jill propaganda.

The past few days have brought some big changes to the field of Republicans running for President in 2012. First, Mike Huckabee announced over the weekend that he wouldn't enter the race. Then, earlier today, Donald Trump officially dropped out. On tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert bid adieu to both of them.

We've got a happy update to the most important story of 2011! (You know, the cross-dressing guy who (allegedly) killed his neighbor's goat while high on bath salts.) A charitably-inclined couple bought the victimized family a new goat. Named Trixie!

Hosni Mubarak, the deposed President of Egypt, will reportedly apologize — and "plead for amnesty" — in a televised statement. Apologize, you may be wondering, for what? Good question! "[F]or for any offense caused to the people," apparently. But, look, all of that nonspecific "offense" isn't really even his fault! See, he's also going to apologize "for any behavior which may have stemmed from false information passed on to him by his advisers." Advisers are notoriously untrustworthy!

Are you sure that your doctor is a real doctor? It can be difficult to tell! For example, if he gives you a bottle of pills called "Prosperous Farmer Dietary Supplements" that expired in 2002, he is probably not credentialed.

In 2009, the Cerdas, a Las Vegas family whose two daughters suffered from immune deficiency disorders, appeared on the reality show Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Their old, moldy house was torn down, and new one, designed to protect the young girls, was built in its place. But as it turns out, the Cerda girls may not have been sick at all.

Everyone's freaking out about "planking," after an Australian kid died while attempting to lie face down on a balcony railing seven-stories up. How did a years-old meme become the hottest new deadly internet thing? It wasn't the internet's fault.

Everyone's favorite butt-kicker has had her own butt kicked a bit of late, but it looks like she's rallied and will be back on TV. Also today: more TV pickup and cancellation news, plus a Terrence Malick controversy.

The wrath of the online video takes shape: a Maryland grand jury has indicted two teenagers on hate crime charges for last month's awful, sickening beating of Chrissy Polis, a transgender woman, in a god damn McDonald's. The beating was helpfully recorded by a heroic bystander, who did not step in to prevent Chrissy Polis from being beaten.

Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss must go away and never come back, ever, with their whining about how they only made, like, $100 million+ on their Facebook settlement, said the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals. No, Tyler. No, Cameron. Just: No.

Finally some good news. James Tate, the young swain who was banned from his Connecticut high school's prom because of the elaborate way he asked his date, will now be allowed to attend.

Arriving in Memphis to give a commencement address today, the leader of the free world dropped his Blackberry. Then he picked it up again. No casualties reported, other than the poor sap at The Daily Mail forced to squeeze a 500-word article out of it. [Daily Mail, images via Getty, AP]