Here are the covers of New York's three biggest dailies. Notice anything? That's right: Only the News Corp-owned Post had the guts to cover the shocking story of a "hero cop" saving a "suicidal gal." What do the Times and the Daily News lead with? Some obscure bit of legalism passed by the bums in Albany. [Yawns] Looks like we all know which paper covers the real New York!

Brady Bunch matriarch, star dancer, and Wesson-pusher Florence Henderson reveals in her new memoir that back in the 1960s she had a thing with late NYC mayor John Lindsay and ended up with a case of the "little black things," otherwise known as baby spiders.

Libyan rebels are telling the AFP that they "expect to get an offer very soon" from dictator Moammar Qaddafi. According to Abdel Hafiz Ghoga of the rebel government, they've heard ("though contacts with France and South Africa") that Qaddafi is ready to "present a proposal"; even if the rumors are true (and it's in the best interests of Ghoga and the National Transitional Council to convince NATO that hostilities will end soon), the NTC has said it cannot accept a deal that would keep Qaddafi in power. But according to Rep. Mike Turner, NATO didn't even want that on the table: The congressman told Foreign Policy that Admiral Samuel Locklear had admitted to him that NATO forces were trying to kill Qaddafi, which, if true, would be a violation of the stated objectives of the NATO mission.

Yoda, a 14-year-old Chinese-crested Chihuahua mix, is officially the World's Ugliest Dog this year, beating out last year's winner Princess Abby for the title at the Sonoma-Marin Fair in California. Yoda's owner, Nicole Schumacher, found her in an alleyway, believing at first she had stumbled upon a rat. [all images via AP]

Technological advancements have made police sketches more realistic than ever, but judging from this sample portrait there's still some room for improvement. Unless the real-life version of this simulated murder suspect wears a spaceship made of yarn on his head?

Despite his "I spend my Friday nights handcrafting latchhook rugs in front of the TV set" appearance, Wisconsin Supreme Court Justice David Prosser sounds like a total thug. In his latest, alleged rage-out, Prosser grabbed a fellow justice with both hands during an argument. Authorities are maybe investigating, or maybe not?

The New York Times and the Wall Street Journal both have behind-the-scenes accounts of Gov. Andrew Cuomo's successful push for gay marriage in New York. And (surprise!) the key was a bunch of rich Republicans.

Rochester's violent crime rates far exceed the national average, say statistics, and the city's now bracing itself for a round of budget cut-related police layoffs. So how come local police officers were patrolling the town with rulers the other day, busting people for bad parking jobs?

In case you haven't heard, New York passed a bill tonight making same-sex marriage legal. Just before the results were announced, openly gay State Senator Tom Duane gave an emotional speech in support of the bill. Here are some highlights.

The New York State Senate just passed a bill legalizing gay marriage, 33-29. It now heads to Gov. Andrew Cuomo's desk for his promised signature. The bystanders in Albany are going nuts. Go celebrate!

The New York State Senate will vote on same-sex marriage this evening. It's unclear what time the vote will take place, but it could happen any minute now. After they work through several other bills, at least. You can watch a livestream of the proceedings below. [Update: The bill has passed!]

On this final weekend of June, you are given the choice of taking the kids with you to see a movie about talking cars, or leaving them at home to fend for themselves and seeing Cameron Diaz swear a lot.

Everyone has always known that living in a bustling metropolis like New York City will make you a psycho, fast. That's why everyone with the means gets the fuck out as soon as they have kids. They'd feel guilty if they didn't even give the kids a chance to be normal, for a while.

Here's a chart of cocaine prices around the world, which the Economist created using data released by the United Nations. Looks like the stuff is dirt cheap in England. Use this chart to plan your next semester abroad! [Economist, cocaine photo via Shutterstock.com]

It's not that Real Housewife of D.C. and White House party crasher Michaele Salahi's dance single is awful, which it is, it's that it is so sad. Everything about it is so eye-gougingly sad that it's probably the saddest attempt at a second act in the history of television.

The Mitt Romney campaign released a web video this morning about young Ryan King, a recent college graduate from destitute Midland, Michigan, who drives around the local trash and destruction all day, just lookin' for a job. He has $3 and only eats bologna sandwiches. Why won't President Obama let him get a job? He is a failed leader.

Russell Simmons initially got famous by starting up Def Jam, a hip hop label that was, believe it or not, dynamic and countercultural. And cool! That was a long, long time ago. What is Russell up to today? Oh, just defending Fox News chief Roger Ailes (again):

Reps. Ron Paul and Barney Frank introduced a bill yesterday that, for the first time, would end the federal ban on marijuana, leaving it to the states. CNN covered the news appropriately, by having a erudite debate between an old stoner actor and some asshole former g-man.

Thousands of furries descend on Pittsburgh this weekend, for the sixth annual Anthrocon, America's foremost convention for "anthropomorphics," commonly known as "furries." Participants are already wandering the streets of Steel City, wearing costumes and carrying puppets, posing for pictures with locals, going to raves, and singing "furraoke" while boozing at local bars.

Some of us suckers have woken up each morning this week hoping to see the headline, "New York Senate Finally Does Something About This Friggin Gay Marriage Bill," only to see the same story about how state Republicans are still thinkin' about it. And guess what? Today is no different, except that senators are getting pissy.