The '90s indie sensation R.E.M., who you haven't thought about since Automatic for the People, has officially broken up. Oh thank God. They had gotten to be like a novelist who lived too long and wrote all these crappy books that sullied the reputation of their sterling early works.

Guys, remember least season when all we did was bitch about how Glee had devolved into a mush of nonsense plots, guest stars, and muddled motivations? Well, something miraculous happened. They listened. They really listened and they fixed it. Thanks Glee!

The inevitable has arrived: Teen bride Courtney Stodden and middle-aged actor husband Doug Hutchison inked a deal with Merv Griffin Entertainment to film a reality show.

Joe McGinniss, author of crazy/enthralling Palin biography The Rogue, went on The View today to demonstrate his trademark ability to force powerful women into awkward discussions of their vaginas.

Untalented but successful writer Thomas Friedman has been doing a lot of thinking lately. "I like golf," he thinks to himself, while sitting in his palatial mansion. Then he realizes his next column is due in an hour. "Manservant!" he cries. "Bring me a metaphor! Any metaphor!"

The Occupy Wall Street protests continue into their fourth day of free pizza and anti-capitalism shenanigans. And the NYPD has come up with a weird way of cracking down—with an old law that outlaws masks at protests.

Maggie Gyllenhaal lends vibrators to female friends. Michaele Salahi and Neal Schon say their adultery is "like a fairy tale." Kendra Wilkinson describes "sex on a jet ski." Wednesday gossip likes to share.

Meth-smoking, man-screwing Evangelical pastor Ted Haggard will soon be swappin' wives with none other than Gary Busey on the upcoming "celebrity" version of ABC's Wife Swap.

Not only are advertising professionals constantly making embarrassing racist faux pas, to our delight; the entire ad industry has a long and dismal history of failing at the most rudimentary "diversity" initiatives. It's run by white guys, like everything else! So the industry is taking baby steps towards true racial integration. Step one: Give Ourselves Awards.

Why does mean Google allow Rick Santorum's name to be linked to a messy anal sex byproduct? Rick Santorum wants to know! He called out the search engine yesterday over his well-known "Google problem."

Her biological clock was ticking, so she got knocked up by her latest beau. This actor was a drunken mess at a recent event and offended everyone. He sure did act like a baby.

A new survey reveals that U.S. colleges increasingly favor rich students who can pay their way without financial assistance even if they're dumber than poorer kids (unlikely). For you poor kids out there, this is good news: You can stop studying now. It doesn't matter anymore.

In its ongoing battle to save that most endangered of animals—the troll—vegetarian PR factory PETA has announced that it will be launching a porn website. They're doing absolutely nothing new, in other words.

Christopher "Dudus" Coke was the baddest cross-dressing drug lord in Jamaica—it literally took an army to bring him down. Now, he's about to be sentenced in New York. He'd like leniency, please. Why? Because! Stuff, and things.

After sentencing them to eight years just last month, Iranian authorities have supposedly released Americans Joshua Fattal and Shane Bauer from prison today. At least that's what "a U.S. official" told CNN, to which CNN texted back, "pix or GTFO."

When Canadian truck-driving man Ken Anderson was only 15 years old, his parents "abandoned" him, he says. Dad died, and mom Shirley barely stayed in touch over the decades. Then one day she realized that Anderson and his siblings should each start paying her $750 every month. Because of all the sacrifices she made. And the love she gave.

During a school picnic, an assistant principal who apparently had never been to a park before spotted an empty liquor bottle lying on the ground and immediately knew, just knew, that this one eighth grader with no history of drinking whatsoever had left it there. Nobody drinks in the woods.

Joan Renee Zalk is a professional yoga instructor and acupuncturist, not a professional dog walker. So please pardon her for not realizing that making a chihuahua run alongside your Toyota Camry while you drive isn't an acceptable dog-walking practice. There's no manual about these things, and she doesn't always get to read the British papers.

What if you were the victim of an online stalker? Someone who spent three years crafting a campaign against you, who somehow got his hands on nude photos of you and sent them to your family. How could that situation get any worse? What if it turned out your stalker was your boyfriend?

Here's an odd little revelation from the run-up to the trial of accused terrorist plotters Ahmed Ferhani and Mohamed Mamdouh: The NYPD had an undercover officer planted at a demonstration showing support for Cordoba House, the so-called "Ground Zero Mosque."