In by far its largest acquisition to date, Facebook said it will buy photo-sharing service instagram for $1 billion, or about $100 million per Instagram employee. At last, the world will be blessed with a fresh gigantic explosion in Instagram-manipulated pics.

Live action-animated hybrid musical number Zooey Deschanel ordered English Breakfast tea at a recent interview.

Now that the Great Recession has been over for a really long time *coughs up lung*, it's a great time to take a broad survey of the vibrant US economy and see how well all of it is doing, what with the recovery and all. How are massive corporations doing? How are common folks doing? Let's review.

As part of our ongoing project to catalog the 2012 presidential election from a metal point of view, we've been soliciting presidential endorsements from noteworthy American metal musicians. Today: Cormorant.

For millennia, media that comes on screens has operated on a very simple premise: they show you entertaining things like Three's Company for free, and in return, you sit there and watch the ads. Very simple. And guess who is now fucking up this wondrous model of passive infotainment? That's right: kids these days.

Saturday Night Live returned from a long break last night with an episode that was pretty lacking but still featured two decent sketches. The first was "Bein' Quirky with Zooey Deschanel," the second installment of this sketch, which also featured host Sofia Vergara's interesting take on a Fran Drescher impression.

Have you heard that video is a big thing over at Gawker Media? It's true, we watch and post a lot of videos each week. Here are some of the best videos of week, culled from an array of Gawker Media sites.

Mitt Romney's nomination is all but decided at this point and Bill O'Reilly has moved his show's narrative ahead to the general election. During the week on the O'Reilly Factor, he made the point that only the debates will really matter and that the rest of it is just "bloviating." Does that mean he'll tone down the rhetoric at all? Of course not.

Bicycle handlebar ribbon Zooey Deschanel looks like her mother.

In order to better address the needs of our fitness-obsessed readers, we are introducing this semi-regular column, "I of the Tiger," to take on the vital hardcore fitness issues of our time. Today: without a goal, you are nothing. Dig it.

Stacy Knutson, a waitress at The Fryn' Pan restaurant in Moorhead, Minnesota, is exceptionally honest. When a customer left $12,000 in cash in a takeout container on one of Knutson's tables, she followed the customer out into the parking lot and tried to return it. The customer said, quote, "No, I am good, you keep it." Okay, so, what is the problem here?

It reads like the kind of thought-provoking hypothetical your cool high school history teacher who sat not behind but ON TOP OF his desk and called everyone by their last names might have thrown out: Should Germany have its own Veterans Day?

A 40-year-old woman from Altoona, Pennsylvania was recently arrested for drunk driving after she tried (or, perhaps more tellingly, after she failed) to seduce a state trooper. And now you want some details, right?

On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert told a personal story that elucidated everything that is right with America: on his way into work this morning, he captured a dude popping wheelies on his motor bike while driving through the Lincoln Tunnel. It's an amazing personal testament to all that is right with our fair nation and all that is dangerous about driving while shooting video with your iPhone.

Jon Stewart gets a lot of emails from President Obama, as many people do, and he's kind of had it with them. As explained on tonight's Daily Show, everything is wrong with them and the overly friendly subject lines and the constant asking for money can snowball kind of quickly into something else entirely.

What's new with notorious mass murderer Charles Manson? Not much. He's 77 now. Still in prison. The California department of Corrections has released an updated mugshot in advance of his 12th parole hearing next week. He probably won't attend (hasn't gone to one since 1997) and he certainly won't get parole.

The nation's least populous town sold at auction for $900,000 today. Everyone who lived in the town is moving to Windsor, Colorado. (It was just one guy. He lived there alone.)

In 1857, in the midst of the greatest political strife a young nation had yet known, a group of prominent intellectuals and activists — Ralph Waldo Emerson, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., and Harriet Beecher Stowe, among others — gathered together to create a New England literary magazine: The Atlantic. For more than a century, it was a leading voice for progressive causes, from abolition to civil rights, and a platform for some of the country's greatest literary voices. Today, it published a rage comic. "Props on the rage comic, Atlantic!" writes Newsweek.

"We seem to have gotten a donation of Tyra Banks' 'fantasy novel' Modelland," New York City's famous Housing Works Bookstore writes on its Tumblr, "with one copy for Ashley Olsen and one for Mary-Kate Olsen." It's very nice of them to call it a "donation," but the fact that the books still have their Post-It dedications inside makes us wonder if they were ever even cracked open. "So excited to share my fantasy novel, Modelland, with you. I hope you enjoy it!" both notes begin. "SMIZE!" she writes to Ashley; "Stay fierce and fabulous," she advises Mary-Kate. Housing Works is selling both for $100.

Randi Zuckerberg has been awarded a Bravo reality show, a show that will follow young people trying to become "Silicon Valley's next great success stories." The mere existence of the program shows how the myth of golden opportunity in the Valley is, once again, far surpassing reality. But beyond that, the show's a clear signal that ridiculous, highly public interpersonal drama will continue to swirl around the Zuckerberg clan for some time to come.