Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer's reps have confirmed the two are expecting a vampire baby, EW.com reports.

Last Friday, a Canadian man live-tweeted his proposal of marriage to his girlfriend. The story went slightly viral as it unfolded—more than 700 response tweets came in bearing the hashtag #MikeProposes over the course of Mike Duerksen's 12 hour tweet session—and has since exploded in a major way as the Internet has, in typical self-fellating fashion, clamored to read more stories about itself.

What's the "hot" news in Wisconsin today? And by hot we mean "explicitly sexual?" As in slang for that? Ha, I'm glad "you" asked. (Meaning me, rhetorically).

Last year, NBC News hired Chelsea Clinton to "report" on things for them, because here in America, major news networks are purely in the entertainment business and the privileges of dynastic nepotism will get you everywhere. That is why she was hired. Because of who her parents are. It has nothing to do with her abilities, or the concept of "journalism." I'm sure she's nice and smart and all. But that is not why she was hired by NBC News. Okay? Now. How is that going?

Yesterday, New York Times foreign correspondent Jeffrey Gettleman (pictured) won a Pulitzer for his reporting on strife and famine in Africa. Though the Times traditionally decides who of its reporters deserve nominations, Gettleman didn't wait for the bosses—he nominated himself. Does that make him an asshole?

¡Hola! That is what the state of Arizona says to its Mexican friends and residents, to distract them from the knife being plunged into their backs at the same moment. The primary problem facing the foreclosure-wracked drought-plagued desert state of Arizona: Mexicans learning things. Arizona will put a stop to that—¡muy rapido!

Tonight, the Nathan Fillion vehicle Castle welcomed guest star Adam Baldwin, who also co-starred with Fillion on the quickly cancelled but still beloved Joss Whedon space western Firelfy. Back then, the two had an easy chemistry that often belied the contentious relationship between their characters. Clearly, the chemistry hasn't gone anywhere as the two spent the majority of the episode sparring. Here's the first scene from their reunion.

Andy Cohen's three ring circus of a talk show is usually only fun because it's live television and anything can happen. But, tonight his guests were the lovely Rashida Jones, from NBC's Parks and Recreation, and the dashing John Slattery, of AMC's Mad Men and it turned into a pretty fun half hour. Here's a highlight.

On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert told tales from the weekend he spent with the NRA at their annual meeting. While Mitt Romney was a wee bit out of place, Newt Gingrich was right at home, especially when he theorized that the right to bear arms had been handed down by God and that it is his hope that everyone on the planet can be armed. One day, Newt, one day.

By now everyone is familiar with the comments Hilary Rosen made last week wherein she said that Ann Romney had never had a job in her life. On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart took stock of Fox News' strong response.

Your 2012 Pulitzer Prize winners have been announced! [Pause.] That very faint sound you hear is the cheering of a dozen or so newsrooms across America, interspersed with the vast silence of a nation that could not care less about the 2012 Pulitzer Prize winners.

Google has been placing more and more crap around search results, which is very annoying, but it turns out this crapification may work out quite well for the giant internet company. That's reportedly because people can't really tell anymore what's a Google advertisement and what's a Google search result, turning the simple act of internet searching into a confusing profitable mess.

Hey, young cohabiting couples: An article in Sunday's New York Times says you're all doomed to fail. Unsurprisingly, this is currently the most-shared thing on their website. But this is one of those articles you can't just share willy-nilly, as the passive-aggressive message conveyed by the act of sharing is actually more important than the content of the article itself.

Do me a favor: do not stand in the walkway. Stand off to the side there. Don't stand right in the middle of the sidewalk. Don't stand right in the middle of the steps. Don't stand right in the middle of the escalator. Don't stand right in the middle of that path, the main one, where everyone is walking.

Time was, anarchists could simply look askance at a Starbucks' big greedy oppression-symbolizing window and it'd shatter out of sheer terror. But in the age-old battle between anarchists and Starbucks, the coffeemaker appears to have gained the upper hand.

Katie Roiphe, a well-to-do white woman who will not shut up, has a case of mortal ennui which is relieved only by publishing cretinous trolling articles which draw sweeping pseudopsychological conclusions about womankind from a small handful of vacuous anecdotes mixed with pop culture strained through the special Katie Roiphe Psychic Sexxx Fantasyland Filter. The news today is, she is still doing that.

As part of our ongoing project to catalog the 2012 presidential election from a metal point of view, we've been soliciting presidential endorsements from noteworthy American metal musicians. Today: Magrudergrund.

Screeching tabloid sex witch Andrea Peyser watched the HBO show Girls on television last night. Did she like it? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. But seriously, guys. Andrea located a portly female.

HBO's Game of Thrones has a lot of nudity in it, sometimes that nudity seems completely gratuitous and unnecessary. Last night, Saturday Night Live proposed a theory as to why that is.

Have you heard that video is a big thing over at Gawker Media? It's true, we watch and post a lot of videos each week. Here are some of the best videos of week, culled from an array of Gawker Media sites.