Your Guide to Passive-Aggressively Sharing This New York Times Article About How Cohabiting Sucks
Hey, young cohabiting couples: An article in Sunday's New York Times says you're all doomed to fail. Unsurprisingly, this is currently the most-shared thing on their website. But this is one of those articles you can't just share willy-nilly, as the passive-aggressive message conveyed by the act of sharing is actually more important than the content of the article itself.
In the article, "The Downsides of Cohabiting Before Marriage," clinical psychologist Meg Jay examines the many ways in which you have screwed yourself by casually deciding to move in with your significant other. You think you're moving in because it's convenient and fun, but what you're really doing, according to studies, is haphazardly locking yourself into an unsatisfying relationship via buying furniture and dogs together, which then turns inevitably into a miserable marriage, which ends in divorce and you drinking yourself into a stupor alone one night and looking back at the ruins of your relationship, wondering where your 20s went. Scary, right?
But before you go shooting this off to everyone you know, consider the message you are sending by telling someone to read such a harrowing document:
Cohabitor shares with partner: "Well, we had a good run. See ya."
Cohabitor shares with single friend: "Beware. Beware! Bewarrrrreeeeeeeeee."
Cohabitor shares with married friend: "This is total bullshit, right? Right?"
Married person shares with spouse: "We totally proved this is bullshit, right? Right?"
Married person shares with cohabiting friend: "This is completely accurate. Beware! Bewarrrrreeeeeeeeee."
Single person shares with cohabiting or married friend: "Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha."