Nope, it wasn't Santorum. Sticky goo disabled 100 cars on the Pennsylvania Turnpike yesterday, after a tanker spilled a driveway sealant all over the road. If only a camera had been on hand to capture a bunch of cars going slower and sloweerrr until they finally stopped. In the pantheon of highway spills, this ranks right behind chickens. And in the pantheon of goo attacks, it ranks right behind that orange stuff in Alaska.
Gather round, cable news promotional campaign junkies, because here's the latest ad from MSNBC's esteemed "Lean Forward" series — starring Al Sharpton! How do the suits go about portraying him as a common sense problem-solving liberal? Ed Schultz, for example, sips coffee in a crappy diner or wanders around a shipyard muttering to himself about labor, while Rachel Maddow stands next to a dam and says "how 'bout that dam." Only Al Sharpton, though, gets to scream about pie.
Justin Bieber admits he took a DNA test to see if that baby is actually his. Angelina Jolie is into some kinky stuff. Britney Spears has a hard, hard life. Howard Stern thinks he and America both have talent. Wednesday's gossip is on the 4:07 to New Haven.
This actress got angry calls from her mother's friends to help her pay for medical costs. This singer is giving everyone STDs, this actress wants security for her kids, and this actress can't work because she has hepatitis. She might need help with her own bills soon.
For 19-year-old Welshman Carl Griffiths, the cons of having size 21 feet include having to special-order shoes, not being able to wear regular men's socks, and getting rejected from rugby clubs because his footwear doesn't comply with their strict dressing codes. The pro: Lots and lots of ladies.
A special message for you Christmas celebrators: This year, when using your helicopter to set up and decorate your tree, try not to fly close to any structures. Otherwise, your propellers might get caught and cause you to have a crash in which you die. That would ruin Christmas!
The latest stress- and technology-related affliction that is destroying relationships and lives around the world is sleep-texting: a "rare condition" in which people "send incoherent text messages while asleep to their friends and family." There is no known cure, besides keeping your phone out of the bedroom.
Less than 24 hours after making its debut alongside a Manhattan highway, Wodka vodka's anti-Semiticky billboard has been pulled down and converted into a "crumpled heap near the road," the New York Times reports. Now how will sophisticated dogs learn about America's hottest cheap-as-the-Jews spirit?
Texas court-at-law judge William Adams—who became the Internet's top persona non grata after his daughter Hillary posted a video showing him viciously beating her in 2004—has been suspended with pay while Texas' Commission on Judicial Conduct continues investigating him. He still doesn't admit guilt, though!
The mayor of the coastal town of Huarmey in Peru told a crowd that he was concerned their tap water contained dangerously high levels of strontium — a metal which he claimed reduces male hormones, increasing the risk of homosexuality among those who drink it.
If the past months have taught us anything, it's that there is no one right way to protest injustice. Conversely, however, there are a myriad of wrong ways to go about it, and Daniel Whitaker of Indianapolis seems to have honed in with remarkable acuity upon one of them.
first shot in the annual War on Christmas has been fired, and it's not a pretty one: part of a $1,600 Christmas display was stolen from a California home early Tuesday morning. Secularism strikes again!
The CNN Republican national security debate is currently underway in Washington, DC. At its onset, moderator Wolf Blitzer invited the candidates to introduce themselves after providing them with a sample: "I'm Wolf Blitzer, and yes, that's my real name." When it was Mitt Romney's turn, the former Massachusetts governor said, "I'm Mitt Romney, and, uh, yes, Wolf, that's also my first name." Except that Romney's first name is actually Willard?
As if grief were not enough, Laurene Powell Jobs has had other issues to handle in the wake of husband Steve Jobs's death: A frank, often-unflattering, bestselling biography of the Apple founder; two highly public memorial services; and now advice that she rush to sell her husband's Apple and Disney shares.
