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Which Two Famous Actors Like to Hook Up with Each Other?

Brian Moylan · 12/15/11 10:10AM

These two A-listers enjoy each other's company in bed, and are sometimes joined by one's wife. This actress is pretending that she found god, and this actress donates her entire wardrobe to charity once a year. Some people need to invent excuses to go shopping.

Source Reveals Facebook Is Swimming In Cash

Ryan Tate · 12/15/11 10:00AM

A well-placed mole has forwarded us the Silicon Valley equivalent of hard-core pornography: an explicit look at Facebook's finances. They're even more staggering than we expected. A gusher of profits has left the social network with a cash hoard to rival established companies like 3M, eBay and Yahoo.

Stephen Colbert Dissects Christine O'Donnell's Endorsement of Mitt Romney

Matt Toder · 12/15/11 12:20AM

On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert re-examined the Republican race now that Christine O'Donnell has endorsed Mitt Romney. It's a great excuse to run down the list of the other big names who have thrown their support behind the candidates. Except for Rick Santorum who is endorsing himself.

Jon Stewart Pits Romney Against Obama To See Who Has the Bigger Sack

Matt Toder · 12/14/11 11:54PM

On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart pitted Mitt Romney against President Obama in the only category that truly matters: ball size. Each man has a legitimate claim to the prize, Romney for suggesting that Newt Gingrich is inconsistently conservative and Obama for asking Iran to return the downed drone that was spying on them. The competition was most certainly stiff and, in the end, President Obama won by a hair.

Hypocritical Piracy Alarmists Are Big Into Piracy

Ryan Tate · 12/14/11 09:46PM

Major media companies say online piracy is such a problem that the federal government should adopt a draconian system of blockades and blacklists to stop infringement. But maybe they should first focus on the pirates they pay and employ, who've just been exposed torrenting the hell out of competitors' movies and TV shows.

Here's a Week's Worth of Women Crying on Television

Matt Toder · 12/14/11 09:30PM

With Christmas nearly upon us, television has been crammed full of weepy Christmas episodes and heart-wrenching tales of all kinds. As a result, there have been a lot of women crying on TV lately. I guess all the men who make the big TV machine run think that bursting into tears is the first, and probably best, option that a woman has when confronted with conflict. Maybe they've driven the women in their lives to the brink one too many times. As they say, write what you know.

The 10 Least Fascinating People of 2011

Seth Abramovitch · 12/14/11 06:50PM

Tonight, the American Broadcast Company airs Barbara Walters Presents: The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2011, wherein TV's grande dame of celebrity reacharounds offers profiles of some of the most spellbinding figures of our time. This year's list includes the likes of Katy Perry (fascinating breasts), Donald Trump (fascinating hair), Simon Cowell (also fascinating breasts), Herman Cain (finds breasts fascinating), and the Kardashians (fascinatingly stupid). As a companion piece, we have compiled this list of The 10 Least Fascinating People of 2011. Think of it as a love letter to everyone who bored, bothered, or left us utterly cold over the past 12 months.

How a Twitter Cabal of Diaper-Obsessed Madmen Killed Scott Baio

Max Read · 12/14/11 06:20PM

#RIPScottBaio was trending on Twitter this afternoon, despite the effusive and vulgar protestations of the Joanie and Chachi star. If you'd visited Wikipedia, searching (as one does) for some "Baio"-graphical information, you would've learned what killed him: diaper rash. "There was only one way to spread awareness of the very real threat of 'diaper death,'" I was told when I talked the guy who'd kicked off the rumor.

Is Anderson Cooper Prepping His Coming Out Episode?

Brian Moylan · 12/14/11 06:01PM

We heard from a tipster that glass closet aficionado Anderson Cooper was bringing his boyfriend Benjamin Maisani to the holiday party for his daytime talk show Anderson tomorrow evening and alleges it is because the show is prepping Anderson's big coming out episode for February sweeps. Can this be true?

Lady Faces Jail for Calling White French Guys Mean Name

Hamilton Nolan · 12/14/11 04:55PM

In France, people are all very sensitive about things, and prefer to approach sensitive issues (all) by arguing sophisticated points of serious political philosophy, while making dismissive hand gestures and holding cigarettes. This is why the French are such a bunch of pussies who aren't even tough enough to be involved in several doomed wars of choice in the Muslim world. Le wimps! Amirite?

Perhaps 1-800-GET-THIN Was Not the Panacea You Imagined

Hamilton Nolan · 12/14/11 03:50PM

Twin surgery! Young insurance! Teen weedheads! Statin flu! Cookie dough! Thin tricks! Working moms! ADHD drugs! And the very latest cigarette news from Eastern Europe! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—sickeningly!

I'm the Jerk Who Pranked Occupy Wall Street

Malcolm Harris · 12/14/11 03:30PM

Ever since someone tricked Occupy Wall Street organizers—and us!—into believing Radiohead was performing a secret show for protesters at Zuccotti Park in September, we've wondered who was behind it. Now we know.

Don't Believe Everything Nick Nolte Tells You About His GHB Binges

John Cook · 12/14/11 03:16PM

In a new GQ profile, Nick Nolte upended one of the great tales of the internet age, revealing that his famous wacked-out mug shot—taken after he passed out while driving on the Pacific Coast Highway—was not actually a mug shot, but a Polaroid he willingly posed for after a cop asked for a picture. Is it true? As true as any recollection Nick Nolte has about his drug-induced catatonic episodes. Which is to say no, it's not true.

Insane Traders Bet 'Tens of Billions' on Twitter Trends

Ryan Tate · 12/14/11 03:10PM

ZOMG, Justin Bieber is trending! How can we short the Jonas Brothers?? That, apparently, is the sort of conversation that's becoming more and more plausible on Wall Street; hedge funds are increasingly turning to Twitter, Facebook and YouTube trends to place social media driven bets in the "tens of billions of dollars," according to a company that sells them data.

Mysterious 16th-Century Sext Discovered in Copy of Chaucer

Max Read · 12/14/11 02:15PM

A visiting professor at West Virginia University has discovered a 16th-century erotic poem—written by a Catholic noblewoman to the condemned Protestant tutor of Edward VI—hidden inside an edition of works by Chaucer, leading to fevered speculation, in your head, over who will star in the movie. (Carey Mulligan, maybe? Emily Blunt?)

There Are No More Dollars

Hamilton Nolan · 12/14/11 02:06PM

There will be no more "dollar coins." Nobody wants them. The coins, we mean; their heft is too great for the threadbare, hole-studded pockets of the average American pant. But dollars themselves—sure, we'll take em. Got any? No.