Facebook is offering a way to report a friend's suicidal posting, and get him or her help via instant message. It's not the most direct or energetic way to get help for a terminally depressed pal, but at least it's something.
The New Yorker has just posted Mattathias Schwartz's excellent piece in last week's magazine on the disastrous raid to arrest Jamaican druglord Christopher "Dudus" Coke. At the DEA's insistence, Jamaican authorities reluctantly raided Tivoli Gardens, the West Kingston slum Coke ran as a de facto governor, two years ago. Coke didn't turn up, but Jamaican police officers killed 73 civilians, many of them allegedly in cold blood. A Department of Homeland Security surveillance plane was overhead the whole time.
Since everyone knows what Borat looks like and no one wanted to see Brüno, Sacha Baron
Cohen has to get all fictional on our asses and do like an actual real movie with actors and a script and all sorts of boring shit like that. At least he can rely on Saddam Hussein for laughs.
If you're wondering why the Mayor of San Juan, Puerto Rico, chose for his annual Christmas card to pose his family next to a leopard slaughtering a gazelle, you are not alone. There are several theories floating about: The official line is that Jorge Santini wanted to promote the San Juan Wildlife Museum and its breathtaking taxidermy displays to rival anything in the Caribbean. (There are two alternate cards, one involving penguins, the other a bear and wild turkey.) A second theory is that Santini is sending a not-so-veiled message to his political rivals in anticipation of this upcoming election year. But we're going to throw a third theory out there: The twisted little girl on the lower left is just into extreme Nativity Scenes. Run, Baby Jesus, run! [Daily Mail]
The home where Holly Golightly resided in the Breakfast at Tiffany's movie -with that iconic fire escape, the cat, the mahvelous pahhhties- is up for sale. And for $5.85 million, one of New York's most historic and romantic landmarks is all yours.
Last Thursday, a 27-year-old named Abe Liu was cited by Harvard police for "using a falsified identification card" and warned against trespassing in college dorms. It was apparently the first time he'd encountered the police—but he'd spent the semester posing as a Harvard College freshman, sleeping in friends' dorm rooms and even posing for a fashion feature in The Harvard Crimson, apparently because he "was lonely."
The first thing everyone on the internet—or everyone on Twitter, at least—remarked when Demi Moore announced her divorce from dangling Chad Ashton Kutcher was, "What is she going to do about her Twitter handle?!" Moore has been known as @MrsKutcher for years, what will she do now? Nothing, so stop asking!
Imagine going to work in a Midtown office tower, trudging your way to a job you don't really like anymore, and while getting into the elevator as it shoots up in the air, crushing you against the ceiling, splitting your body in half, and killing you. Hell of a way to go.
If being a weirdo is a heritable trait, Trent Arsenault is making the world a much stranger place. He's a self-fashioned "free sperm donor," bestowing his super-powerful seed on needy couples. But the FDA wants to shut him down.
Those of you who are from or who currently live in one of America's more backwards states (Southern states, Southwestern states, all middle American states, or any part of any state on either coast outside of a major metropolitan area) know that there are few pleasures easier or more satisfying than making fun of America's more backward states. I mean, you don't have to be some great wit. A half-dumb child could easily offend a resident of, say, Georgia. And could probably do so more easily than a more eloquent critic, given the state's average reading comprehension.
This actor spent too much money trying to look rich and now his lights are going to be shut off. This celebrity hired a surrogate and she's living on the "Lower West Side" of Manhattan. Does that exist? This actress fed homeless people at her house. Maybe she can take in that deadbeat actor.
Are you married? Sucker. I mean, congratulations. Sucker. In olden times men and women would agree to be joined in matrimony forever—the men receiving a regular source of sexual congress and a valuable allegiance to powerful land-owning families in nearby regions, and the women receiving a new pot and pan. Today: married people are nearly a minority. So close!!!!
Is Morning Joe the most offensive morning news and talk show on cable television? Seriously, it's like you can't turn it on without catching something vulgar and indecent. Just watch this video: Harold Ford is presented as an intelligent, thoughtful person with valuable and considered opinions. Children watch this show! What if my kid comes home and starts imitating these people? Maybe you want a nation of tiny Mark Halperins running around—I, for one, do not.
