Dale Irby, a gym teacher in Texas, retired earlier this year after 40 years on the job. And 40 years of taking his yearbook picture in the same disco-era outfit.

Does the layabout "Millennial" generation, composed primarily of— not to engage in reductive stereotyping—greedy little sellouts, have any redeeming qualities whatsoever? Perhaps.

Last May, graffiti artist Kidult scrawled "ART" in huge red letters across the Marc Jacobs store in Soho. Skilled clothing pricer Marc Jacobs proceeded to screenprint the image of the tagged store onto t-shirts and sell them for $686. The t-shirt read "Art by Art Jacob$."

Hello, do you wonder what is the newest fashionable thing to wear this summer? You've come to right internet site (Gawker.com). We can now EXCLUSIVELY report that, according to other reports, the following things are the "hottest" fashions, this summer.

Today marked an annual ceremony called Ladies Day, when Royalty and their hangers-on gather to ostensibly attend a horse race in the small town of Ascot in England. The exclusive Royal Enclosure also requires attendees to adhere to particular fashion requirements, which prompt the question: Dear England, what the fuck is on your head?

Luxury fashion designers Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana, two men who have almost certainly personally adjusted the breasts of many of your favorite celebrities, were each issued a jail sentence of one year and eight months on Wednesday in Italy, for tax evasion.

A Utah woman who hoped to teach her daughter a lesson about bullying succeeded only in turning her into the coolest, chicest girl on the block last week.

Looks like America's children will continue dressing like derelicts and frumpalumps for the foreseeable future; Suri Cruise, the fashion goddess who could have made Sex and the City chic accessible for toddlers, is not designing an eponymous clothing line, despite several reports Friday to the contrary.

The eyes of the fashion-conscious and celebrity-obsessed turn this evening to the annual Costume Institute Gala at New York's Metropolitan Museum of Art. To accompany the Institute's latest exhibit, "Punk: From Chaos to Couture," the gala's theme this year was punk rock, because what better way to celebrate the history of punk music than by inviting millionaires to compliment one another at an exclusive party.

It's a story as old as love: You meet a gorgeous guy online who regales you with stories about his pal Bill Clinton over drinks at the Surrey Hotel. Heady with glee, you accompany this former CEO to the live jazz scene at the Carlyle. Roses, a driver, the whole she-bang. Date number two caps a lovely dinner with the Grammys back at your pad, and yeah, maybe you go back to his amazing apartment and agree to a little barebacking. A couple weeks later, instead of taking Paris together, you're alone with all of the penicillin.

Every morning at 9:05 AM sharp, a strikingly dapper octogenarian saunters by Zoe Spawton's coffee shop on his way to work in the Berlin borough of Neukölln.

Men: they are wearing beards now. Why? The WSJ's Tina Gaudoin has a theory:

In the olden days, if you wanted to buy some pants, you'd go to the clothing store (which was the same as the hardware store, and the pharmacy) and pick out some god damn pants, and buy them, and take them home. Now, thanks to wonders of technology, we live in a time when it is possible to go to the clothing store, pick out some god damn pants, and not buy them, because sir—sir?—I'm afraid those aren't for sale.

Fashion news: Isabella Blow x Pink Flamingos = "genuinely original." (Also "no child of privilege" = went to Spence.)

Yesterday, when Williamsburg revealed its designs for the old Domino sugar factory site, people marveled at the gleaming new towers planned for the waterfront, or, more specifically, the giant gaping holes planned inside them. If solid buildings were the past, empty space-buildings are the future. Everything seemed very cool and neat and, at the end of the day, who doesn't love sugar so what were we talking about?

After a very expensive four-year run, Fashion's Night Out is over (in the U.S.). Tastefully launched during the peak of the 2009 recession, FNO was initiated to encourage spending by setting up a DJ booth in a Victoria's Secret, giving you a glass of bad champagne, and steering you towards some designer-y clothes. By last year, FNO had spread to over 500 cities in the U.S. and 30 internationally.

Goldschläger incarnate Lindsay Lohan has allegedly learned the hard way that, like dolls' hair and a child's limbs, expensive beaded frippery doesn't just grow back once you cut it off. She reportedly returned a borrowed floor length designer gown in "tatters," its bottom half roughly hacked off with scissors.

At last, the unattainable glamour of the mailman is within your sweaty grasp: the U.S. Postal Service announced Tuesday plans to release a fashion line for men. (Estimated delivery date for a women's line: unknown.)

This morning, two intrepid Gawker journalists traveled all the way to Midtown Manhattan to peruse the new fall Fashion Week showcase of Spanx, the body-squeezing clothing-and-undergarment line for women—and men. Having done our research, we now ask: Are Spanx good, or evil?

"Fashion Film," starring Lizzy Caplan (from Party Down, Mean Girls, and in between Matthew Perry's sweaty thighs), exploded all over the Internet today.