What do the nation’s premiere teen mom sex tape purveyor and the nation’s House minority leader have in common? The answer, surprisingly, is lack of access.
Did Farrah Abraham have an allergic reaction to a lip-implant procedure or is her new ledge of an upper lip just a sneaky bid to get on the popular E! fix-her-up series Botched? The answer is probably a little from Column A, a little from Column Dammmmmmmmn That's a Fucked-Up Lip.
When we last checked in on Backdoor Teen Mom Farrah Abraham, she had started working at an Austin, Tex. strip club as "research" for some unannounced book or movie she may participate in at some point in the theoretical future—just like Jennifer Aniston! Well, it's apparently not just research anymore: Both Farrah and the club report she's signed six-figure contract as a celebrity dancer.
Backdoor Teen Mom Farrah Abraham is spending her 14th minute of fame promoting the first book in her Celebrity Sex Tape trilogy(!) of erotic novels, based on the "private" sex tape she made with porn star James Deen. Advance reader copies of In The Making have arrived, and they confirm what you already suspected: Life is suffering and everything is terrible.
Last week, reality star, sex-tape maker, singer (or whatever ), and the subject of the most-viewed post in the history of Gawker (NSFW...of course), Farrah Abraham stopped by our offices to promote her foray into erotic fiction, the roman à clef Celebrity Sex Tape: In the Making. Alongside my friend and old Pot Psychology partner, Jezebel's Tracie Egan Morrissey, we had a discussion about sex, slut-shaming, celebrity, and writing for about 30 minutes. Eight of those are in the video above.
Move over, Buck 22, this is the worst song of 2014. Farrah Abraham has claimed (on reality TV, no less) that the release of her "sex tape" (which is actually just a porno...with a sequel) was traumatic for her, but look at her capitalizing on it with the cloddish double entendre of her new single, "Blowin." They say that when life gives you lemons, make lemonade; in "Blowin," Abraham is making lemonade out of her own juices. And look, she invited her daughter along to help!
Teen Mom alum and "sex tape" maker Farrah Abraham is on this season of VH1's Celebrity Rehab replacement, Couples Therapy. Except she's not in a couple, so for her this show is therapy therapy, which is to say theater (she's into that less-is-more style of acting where you start to whisper at times of heightened emotion). She apparently conned producers into letting her on the show without a significant other. I'm sure producers were willfully conned, though, figuring that having her on the show solo in any capacity would make for good TV. They weren't wrong.
Farrah Abraham famously got pregnant at 16, only to have her boyfriend die in a car crash not long afterwards. Scandal stardom awaited as she worked out personal issues on MTV’s Teen Mom while birthing an unusual career in the reality spotlight. Farrah seized the chance to write a best-selling book, record an album of self-help songs, and just recently to sell a sex tape with James Deen for a reported $1.5 million. But that was then. Nowadays, Abraham, 22, plans to study at Pace University’s Lubin School of Business in hopes of becoming a restaurateur. Too vanilla? Don’t worry, she’s also working on a new reality show!
Farrah Abraham continues her it's-not-a-porno media tour regarding the porno that she did with porno god James Deen, which includes a quintessentially porno shot of her porno vagina squirting porniferously. Abraham maintains that Backdoor Teen Mom is a sex tape, something originally intended for her own private use that should never require, oh you know, a media tour. She maintains this, you see, because Farrah Abraham thinks she is smarter than you. What a clown.
It’s not all that surprising that Farrah Abraham shot and sold a sex tape. Every reward America has ever given Farrah has been a direct result of her having sex. In 2009, America rewarded Farrah—then a popular cheerleader at Thomas Jefferson High School in Council Bluffs, Iowa—with her own episode of MTV's 16 and Pregnant. Next, it rewarded her with a starring role on four seasons of Teen Mom. Now it’s rewarded her with a paycheck in the “high six figures” for a sex tape she shot with porn star James Deen. She’s already been rewarded for that with an endorsement deal in the “low six figures," for hawking a raspberry-flavored weightloss pill.
As number-one-mom Farrah Abraham continues to act like her "secret private sex tape" with porn giant James Deen was leaked to Vivid Entertainment against her will — "I KNOW WHAT'S OUT- Don't talk to me about it:) Thanks #XXX," she just tweeted — the company best known for making Kim Kardashian a thing has finally unleashed upon an unsuspected public the full force of Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom.
