Alexandra Penney—the stupendously un-self-aware once-rich former magazine editor and sex book author who lost all her money to Bernie Madoff and became our favorite blogger—has a book deal! "Notorious" is the new "Deserving."

Page Six Magazine is folding, but not before they stroke the egos of anyone who could maybe give them a job with this here list of NYC's 50 Hottest Bachelors. Five problematic entries:

What took him so long? Terry Semel, the Hollywood boss who abruptly quit his job as Yahoo's CEO in 2007, has frozen his daughter Courtenay's trust fund.

Heiressblogger and ultimate narrator Emily Brill is pulling some shenanigans! Her blog seems to have been erased. The ghostly message replacing it: "Hey New Yorkers, One year on the blog was always the plan. Now working on long term (and paying) projects. Yours, Emily"

Gloomy economic party-haver and enthusiastic Facebook user Nouriel Roubini is in Davos, working hard to bring our own fameball Photoshop works to life. [His panel was aptly named "What Went Wrong"]

Celebrity-glomming fameball Hilary Rowland told us she "would never" date actor James Woods, as we had reported based on several 2001 Getty Images captions. So what about this 2001 photo of them kissing?

Former Clinton White House mouthpiece Dee Dee Myers just called Barack Obama "the most famous living person in the history of the world." Whatever! What about, like, The Pope? Or Tom Cruise!

How does Julia Allison make money? It's an eternal question. We already know she can live in her "office." And now a Nonsociety intern has illuminated another revenue stream: full-time asking for free stuff!

Hilary Rowland is an obnoxious name dropper. But she's not all talk: The model turned startup wannabe is reportedly no stranger to the celebrity dating circuit, and is now rumored seeing Entourage's Adrien Grenier.

This morning we told you about internet microcelebrity Hilary Rowland, the modelesque blond fond of name-dropping and self promotion. But who is she, really? Time for a field guide!

Jakob Lodwick became a millionaire brokering hipster attention on video-sharing site Vimeo. Now, years later, the former dealer can't stop using, and it seems to be driving him crazy.

Sometimes we all look back on the choices we've made, and wonder wistfully how things would have turned out had we chosen different paths. And sometimes this makes us delusional, like Julia Allison.

Listen up, Mary Rambin and all other poor suckers who believe that magical herbal detoxes, fasts, or colonics will somehow "cleanse" your system of "toxins": they don't, okay. So stop buying them. Jesus.

He had an affair with a powerful man. He was BARELY LEGAL. Looks good with his shirt off. And his name is Beau Breedlove. Meet Portland's porny scandal boy.

After igniting controversy throughout North America with his comments to the Observer, Web attention-trolling expert Rex Sorgatz backtracked. Or, as he put it, cleared some things up.

First New York bloggers were incensed by Rex Sorartz's caddish self-promotion in the New York Observer; now fellow Midwesterners are raising questions about the life story he floated in the paper.

Rex Sorgatz knew an account of his bed-hopping among New York bloggers would ignite controversy; he's the internet infamy expert. But why did he play along with protocelebrity now so worthless?

One of the biggest brand-called-you practitioners is calling the whole notion into question. Tech pundit Sarah Lacy publishes in four or five media and wonders what the point is.

Hypernarcissistic videogame developer Charles Forman, whose relationship with professional drama factory Julia Allison ended in PowerPoint-driven recriminations, is back in the market for love, a tipster reports — and suffering from the woes of unfamousness.

Wow, it's already January 2 and no Julia Allison posts yet? Well it's time to get you all caught up on the protofameball's shattered sense of calm and ongoing New Year's friendsult fight!