Woe is Perez Hilton, in many ways. His marketing firm put together such a neat Powerpoint show to get companies to sponsor his birthday party last weekend. How did that go?

Uberfameball Julia Allison attended newly-minted recession-era wackofameball economist Nouriel "Dr. Doom" Roubini's 50th birthday Saturday night, causing both to explode in a blinding flash of self-interest! But not before JA took this "vulva wall" pic.

A LiveJournal user says the brilliant mind behind the crazed tweets of celebrity mom Dina Lohan is a 24-year-old Michigan man named Matt Cherette. Cherette, who's confessed, has a career in Hollywood awaiting him.

Either Lindsay Lohan's entire crazy family is really on Twitter, or the world's best comedy writers have taken to the medium. Here are Dina Lohan's Twitter tales of bad tea, insidious censorship, and "HATERS."

Yesterday was Perez Hilton's 31st birthday! His star-studded birthday bash will be March 28th at LA's "iconic" Viper Room. And here's how his marketing firm is trying to sell people sponsorships of this once-in-Perez's-lifetime affair:

UH OH: Complex magazine put Kim Kardashian on its cover this month, but it forgot to Photoshop one of its images of her (left) until Bucky Turco caught it. Huzzah for real womanhood! [Animal NY]

Our friend Arthur Kade is moving up in the world! Philly's most inane John Fitzgerald Page knockoff is in a movie with Angelina Jolie. Eh, Arthur Kade has fucked hotter chicks:

Diablo Cody and her Hollywood gal-pals cooperated on today's self-consciously sexy New York Times profile. Odd, then, that they complained people pay too much attention to their looks.

Despite being total bullshit, the idea that you can "cleanse" your body with days-long juice fasts persists. If a new story is to be believed, Cleanse Mania is affecting rich women and fameballs alike.

Huffpo-er Jeremy Abelson interviewed famous American Julia Allison about how her "brand" will "make money." Not to get too technical, but it involves having people pay her for...stuff, that she does.

The Kardashians are an entire family of national fameballs—Julia Allison can only dream of achieving their ubiquitous inanity. And America may have a new book from them to look forward to, a tipster says!

Gavin Newsom, the politically ambitious, Google-loving, baby-making, gay-marriage-crusading mayor of San Francisco, is meeting Twitter CEO Ev Williams today! Possibly on the agenda: Can he get tipsy female relatives off it?

Who is the real Arthur Kade? Is it the "extremely motivated and passionate" wealthy financial planner-turned-model and aspiring actor? Or is it: the most Zoolanderesque, parody-of-himself blog oversharer of the post-boom era? Dive in:

RadarOnline was once an intelligent site, written by funny people. Really! Now, it seems to have degenerated into all Octomom, all the time. What's happening here?

Stop everything: John Fitzgerald Page—the Worst Person in the World—is doing stuff! Would you like to be in a movie with Bill Murray and Sissy Spacek? John Fitzgerald Page can make it happen:

Internet fameball and brand new blogger Jake Lodwick maybe posted a sex picture of himself? Unfortunately we are obligated by fate to bring this to you. Compare and contrast if you want to (don't):

Once upon a time there was an odd young internet fameball named Jakob Lodwick who decided to quit the internet entirely after it failed to adequately explain China. In unrelated news, 'Jake' Lodwick is blogging!

Who says there aren't jobs out there for J-school graduates? Thanks to a tipster, we learned today that Columbia J-school alum and fame-seeker Sheena Tahilramani now works (worked?) for evil Republican vizier Karl Rove.

At least one blogger has condemned Tumblr for deleting her "reblogger" critics, writing "don't those cunts have the same freedom of blog rights that the rest of us?" But Julia Allison is "proud."

Why not spend your hard-earned money on a charity eBay auction to "Spend an Evening with NonSociety.Com Girls in New York"? I cannot think of a single reason. Current price: $102.50. Plenty of fringe benefits: