Due to high upkeep costs, a full 60% of the arisocrat-owned historic estates in Great Britain are now open to the public, for revenue-generating purposes. Might as well go ahead bring that on up to 100%, by imprisoning all the owners.

After successfully campaigning to have old school author Jane Austen appear on the UK's ten-pound bill, Caroline Criado-Perez has been swamped with death threats and rape threats on Twitter. She reports seeing "about 50 abusive tweets an hour for about 12 hours," describing the reaction as having "stumbled into a nest of men who coordinate attacks on women." The advocate has responded by retweeting the threats, which include promises of violent action, demeaning remarks, and plans to find her.

As the world waits with bated breath for the emergence of the latest—and cutest—member of the British Royal Family, allow us to put forth a gentle reminder: In a just world, this innocent child would be going up for adoption, since its family would have been imprisoned for crimes against humanity.

A black mother-of-three who owns a cafe in a heavily white town is taking a stand against the racism she says she's had to endure for the past two years by posting a sign on the door informing potential customers of her race in advance.

Looks like the royal baby will have zero time to recover from its swim through the English Channel of amniotic fluid before doing battle with its first foe: a giant Loch Ness monster version of Colin Firth that has just been plunked down in Serpentine Lake in Hyde Park, London.

After the Great Recession struck, many "Main Street" types of Americans were mad that the entire global economy managed to melt down without resulting in any "Wall Street" types of Americans being thrown in jail. Finally, the law on this point is changing.

A former airline pilot was sentenced today to 24 years behind bars for murdering his wife by disabling her airbag, undoing her seat belt, and then intentionally driving into a tree.

An undercover cop has been exposed as one of the authors of a libelous anti-McDonald's leaflet that ended up resulting in the longest civil or criminal trial in English history.

Today marked an annual ceremony called Ladies Day, when Royalty and their hangers-on gather to ostensibly attend a horse race in the small town of Ascot in England. The exclusive Royal Enclosure also requires attendees to adhere to particular fashion requirements, which prompt the question: Dear England, what the fuck is on your head?

Far-right groups are once again out in force in northern England today following Wednesday's attack on a British soldier in Woolwich.

Two monsters crashed a car into a soldier named Lee Rigby on Tuesday in southeast London, and then they hopped out and murdered him with meat cleavers and a machete. In the interminable lull before police arrived to shoot the men, they danced over Rigby's body and demanded passers-by take pictures and video. Here it is.

The horrific beheading of a soldier in southeast London today by two young black men has mobilized mobs of thugs to take to the streets. The Woolwich terrorists warned witnesses of "a war in London tonight" and they just might get it.

The Royals are expected to do something now and then, and nothing says "I happen to be partying in New York" like Prince Harry taking a somewhat tardy disaster tour of the New Jersey shoreline devastated by Hurricane Sandy seven months ago.

Just one day after police in Cambridgeshire, England announced a manhunt for a 7 foot, 3 inch man and a woman with a "distinctive" face tattoo (both wanted for questioning in a murder case), authorities reported they have managed to find them. Imagine that. How did they do it so quickly? Just great detective work, I guess.

Is London seething with vicious urban foxes ready to cut their teeth on the children of England?

We're all jealous of Kate Middleton now. The shiny hair. The castle home. But in 500 years she'll be just another monarch buried underneath a Pizza Hut parking lot, so who cares, really?

The first comedian-founded atheist church in England is set to hold its first monthly service tomorrow. Pippa Evans (a "musical improv comedian") and Sanderson Jones (just a regular talking comedian) came up with the idea together.

There is no form of intrigue more delicious than archaeological intrigue, and this story is just riddled with it: royal exhumations, parking lots, anonymous sources, whiffs of conspiracy and official denials. Select your finest knife and heftiest fork; draw a damask napkin over your lap, and prepare to tuck in.

Because sometimes life is every bit as exciting and riddled with mysteries as you had hoped it would be as a cunning, hopeful child, a man in southern England has discovered the remains of a homing pigeon carrying an encrypted message for a British intelligence agency while renovating his 17th-century fireplace. The man, David Martin, found the remains of the pigeon back in 1982 but the existence of the message remained a secret until earlier this month.

Yesterday, Kenneth Branagh was knighted by the Queen of England for somehow making Thor not suck. No! Actually it was for his "services to drama and the community of Northern Ireland."