Former viral sensation and aspiring heavy metal star Balloon Boy (otherwise known as Falcon Heene) has officially announced his endorsement of Donald J. Trump in an email to Gawker.

After conducting an online poll earlier this month, the Working Families Party voted “overwhelmingly” to endorse Bernie Sanders for president. “Really, the endorsement is more about the WFP than it is about the presidential race,” one party activist told Politico NY.

Actual buffoon Donald Trump has decided to cancel a planned political ambush of “as many as 100 black evangelical religious leaders” when many of those leaders caught wind of his plan, reports the Associated Press.

Chris Christie’s presidential campaign took another tough blow today via an endorsement from a newspaper that hasn’t picked a winner in this century.

So far, America’s most powerful labor unions are more likely to endorse Hillary Clinton than Bernie Sanders, even though Sanders’ beliefs are more pro-labor than Clinton’s. This is dumb. And fearful.

In the coming year, a number of both experienced legislators and relative neophytes will ask for your support as they seek election as President of United States. There is, however, only one candidate who truly deserves your vote: Cop and baby skunk with yogurt cup on head.

Following up on its non-endorsement of New York governor Andrew Cuomo's challenger, Zephyr Teachout, the New York Times today endorsed Teachout's running mate, Tim Wu, for lieutenant governor. Because Cuomo is a terrible cynic with no identifiable values, his chosen lieutenant governor candidate, Kathy Hochul, is a right-wing creep added to the ticket to pander to upstate voters. (Or possibly, as the Times theorizes, she's a cynic herself, who pretends to be right-wing to pander to upstate voters.)

The New York Times editorial board, with great pride in its own high-mindedness, has refused to endorse Andrew Cuomo's campaign for renomination as governor of New York in the upcoming Democratic primary. As the Times' reporters have amply documented, Andrew Cuomo is, in his role as a self-appointed champion of clean politics, a gutless fraud at best, and at worst a crook. Having sworn to rid Albany of its toxic and comical culture of gross corruption, he promptly and comically corrupted his own reform effort. The Times editorial board says so—that Cuomo "broke his most important promise."

Lenovo, the global technology manufacturing firm that recorded nearly $30 billion in revenue last year, has named Ashton Kutcher, a former male model who rose to fame playing the stupid one on That 70s Show, as its new "Project Engineer." The time to dump your Lenovo stock is now.

After a brief and panic-inducing sabbatical, Twinkies are coming back, now that investors have scooped them up from the dying Hostess corporation. The big question now: who can be trusted to represent this storied American chemical product?

Andrea Peyser—leading hate and sex and hate sex sexxxpert at New York's trashiest tabloid—has, at long last, issued her presidential endorsement. She has made her choice primarily on the basis of her feminist values.

Here at Gawker.com, an influential Tennessee politics blog, we don't often endorse candidates. According to many medical studies, politicians are queer in the head and full of bile, and as longtime readers know, we do not consider the U.S. government legitimate since it abandoned the gold standard and put all whites up for collateral against foreign debt in 1933. (See our previous article, "Six Great Tips for Hiding the IRS Agent's Body.")

It's nice to have famous friends, especially when you're running for office.

Last night in D.C., Madonna had a very important message for concert-goers: vote for Obama, the "black Muslim in the White House." (FACT CHECK: Obama is not a Muslim.)

The former Republican governor of Florida (and John Slattery lookalike) Charlie Crist has endorsed Barack Obama.

Clint Eastwood is endorsing Mitt Romney. But he also endorsed Gran Torino and Hereafter, so consider the source.

Why do celebrities publicly endorse certain consumer products? Usually, it's because some company gives them a staggering amount of money to do so. But not Jay-Z—he does it because he really believes in the Duracell Powermat battery-charging device:

Proving that not all grandmas skew far to the right, America's Nonagenarian Sweetheart Betty White publicly endorsed Barack Obama.

As part of our ongoing project to catalog the 2012 presidential election from a metal point of view, we've been soliciting presidential endorsements from noteworthy American metal musicians. Today: Chrome Waves.

As part of our ongoing project to catalog the 2012 presidential election from a metal point of view, we've been soliciting presidential endorsements from noteworthy American metal musicians. Today: Agalloch.