After Regis confronted Whoopi Goldberg today about the inter-host fighting on The View, we had a feeling that our exclusive report about backstage tensions between Joy Behar and Elisabeth Hasselbeck might be addressed on today's installment, and that both Behar and Hasselbeck would summarily dismiss the conflict as a load of Sheetzucacapoopoo. What we didn't expect was the weird, elusive way the hosts attempted to talk around the issue.Sure, Hasselbeck denied the story, but Goldberg then assured folks that the View co-hosts would never have personal fights in front of the audience, neatly skipping the fact that the blowup in question was said to happen backstage. Also less than forthcoming? A major Behar/Hasselbeck reconciliation. The closest the two came was when Behar tactfully said, "If she doesn't say the crazy things she says, how can I say the crazy things I say?" Then, after deriding the gossip about their feuding, Goldberg launched into gossip about other celebrities feuding. Nice segue, Sister Act!

To your left, witness Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Joy Behar in happier times at the 2006 launch party for Behar's book, which was for some reason entitled Sheetzucacapoopoo: My Kind of Dog. Sadly, peaceful scenes like that may be few and far between now, thanks to constant on-screen warring and, most especially, backstage battle royales. Yesterday, we brought you word from a Defamer operative about a behind-the-scenes fight between Behar and Hasselbeck that went down after cameras for The View stopped rolling. Now, another tipster has written in to corroborate the account, as well as add new details:

You can take the Whoopi out of the girlfight at The View, but you can't necessarily take the girlfight out of Whoopi. That seems to be the lesson learned this morning on Live with Regis and Kelly, where Ms. Goldberg — who was out sick for Wednesday's particularly violent drama — played dumb, then defensive, then philosophical about the onscreen battles (not to mention the fantastic backstage bloodbaths) plaguing her show's panel. "What is the problem with those women?" asks Regis, his furrowed brow projecting the sincere concern of a man who knows a thing or two about handling high-strung co-hosts. If there is peace to be found in this literal no-man's-land, surely Reeg will mediate it — assuming, that is, no one burns Elisabeth Hasselbeck down before then. [Live with Regis and Kelly]

♦ Guy Ritchie supposedly cried after seeing son Rocco wearing a Yankees t-shirt this week. So sensitive! Or maybe not so much: Ritchie also reportedly described Madonna as "old, fat, ugly and wrinkled," and said she couldn't sing. [Us, NYDN]
♦ Not only did Lindsay Lohan's stint on Ugly Betty get cut short because she didn't get along with America Ferrera, LiLo clashed with everyone else on set, too. Also, she enjoys snipping out photos of herself from the tabloids. [P6]
♦ Jennifer Aniston's publicist is denying she's pregnant. [ET]
♦ Gossip Girl's Taylor Momsen spent four days in the hospital with a "potentially life-threatening throat-infection." But she was miraculously cured and released yesterday afternoon. [Us]

A lot of fighting happened in front of the cameras on today's heated installment of The View, but according to a tip we just received from a Defamer operative, it was nothing compared to what went on after the show was over. Our tipster says that Elisabeth Hasselbeck was upset that Joy Behar has been using The View to tout Behar's upcoming stand-up performance, and the conservative co-host demanded equal time in a confrontation that got ugly:

We must admit that when we turned on the television this morning and heard the words, "Today on The View: Bill O'Reilly," we knew it would take more than a loofah to scrub the ensuing political confrontations out of our brains. Still, despite the fact that O'Reilly straight-up called Barack Obama a Communist, the real fireworks came before his arrival, as Joy Behar and Elisabeth Hasselbeck hashed things out sans the careful moderation of Whoopi Goldberg (who was sick at home today).After Elisabeth claimed that she entertained the thought of voting for Obama following his DNC speech, Joy demurred with a sarcastic "Oh, come on." The resulting "Call me a liar then, Joy!" instantly kicked things into the high-pitched crosstalk zone we know and love from The View, with Elisabeth eventually serving Joy with a mug full of "Barack Obama Kool-Aid" (producing a vocal audience revolt against Elisabeth for the second day in a row). There may be less than two weeks until the election, but how long until Elisabeth finally uses that mug she keeps brandishing on the audience?

Sure, we can usually count on Elisabeth Hasselbeck to make fashion statements that are almost as loud as her constant shouts of "But what about William Ayers...!" Still, even we were impressed by her chutzpah when she showed up to today's edition of The View wearing a salmon-colored t-shirt emblazoned with the words "Great AmeriMcCain Hero." The audience, however, was in a less forgiving mood toward the conservative co-host today.During a discussion about Barack Obama's Titanic-beating money haul, Joy Behar asked Hasselbeck if she thought John McCain would have abstained from the public financing system if he could have made similar money. Her indignant response, "John McCain is a man of his word and a man of honor," drew laughs, groans, and only a smattering of applause. Perhaps chastened by the reaction (as well as a later interruption from Whoopi Goldberg), Hasselbeck announced she was simply going to imagine the rest of her thoughts and not even bother talking. We're imagining that her imagination has something to do with a keffiyeh-clad Obama and four bloody, feminine scalps.

The inter-host squabbling has become so heated on The View that there's little a celebrity guest can do to keep up (short of revealing dramatic, semi-incestuous childhood memories), so it's no surprise that producers have been scheduling more and more all-"Hot Topic" editions, as they did this morning. Also no surprise? Things got absolutely bananas today, as Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar reached heretofore-unglimpsed levels of annoyance with Elisabeth Hasselbeck while arguing about a weekend full of juicy political news.

Republican hearts raced this morning as conservative pin-up girl Elisabeth Hasselbeck told the audience of The View that she'd be showing off what she wears to bed every night. Would it be an oversized McCain/Palin '08 tee? A frilly nightgown from the Fox News gift shop? Or maybe even a fetching blue two-piece?None of the above! Instead, Hasselbeck settles in for a nice late-night viewing of On the Record with Greta Van Susteren wearing a clashing mix of baggy, patterned separates. Now, sadly, she must burn them, as her husband's recent laser eye surgery has rendered him suddenly aware of Elisabeth's retina-scorching ensemble. Worse than his reaction, though, is the disapproval from a scandalized Barbara Walters, who drops a few hints about what naughty things she might wear to bed. Barbara, that Victoria's Secret chantilly lace slip was meant for Ellen's eyes only!

Lone View conservative Elisabeth Hasselbeck is typically out on a limb when her cohosts start talking politics; to expect someone else at the table to take up her pro-Palin, anti-Obama mantle is as fruitless as expecting a hug from Barbara Walters. That's what made it all the more novel today when Whoopi Goldberg agreed with Hasselbeck that Sarah Palin has been the victim of sexist attacks, then attempted to shut down additional critiques of the candidate from Joy Behar.Sure, Goldberg is The View's moderator and thus tasked with keeping the peace, but can Hasselbeck expect this unlikely ally to come to her defense in the future? At least Behar will still have some company — take a second look at her slams on Palin, and it's clear that she's picked up finger-wagging techniques from Sherri Shepherd.

After a remarkably sedate, breast cancer-themed episode of The View yesterday, the political fur flew once again this morning as Elisabeth Hasselbeck continued to press the last line of Republican defense: Barack Obama's tenuous tie to William Ayers. This time, Joy Behar (over the protests of a sneezing Whoopi Goldberg) tried to raise the issue of Sarah Palin's ties to an Alaska secessionist group, but Elisabeth would not be deterred — and she had a glossy trump card yet to play.

Yesterday's unlikely emergence of Sherri Shepherd as The View's new foil to Elisabeth Hasselbeck was no fluke! As you might be able to discern from the fierce, finger-wagging screencap up above, Shepherd set it off on today's program (and View producers helpfully sat the two budding rivals next to each other for maximum in-your-face screaming).As Hasselbeck again brings up this week's Republican talking points by linking Barack Obama to William Ayers, Shepherd goes ballistic, shouting, "Can we talk about poor judgment?" The evisceration of Cindy McCain's homewrecking ways that follows stuns Hasselbeck ("Wow, this is super personal now!") and even the unflappable Joy Behar, who rises and... mimes flashing the audience? We're not entirely sure, but now that The View has become a reliable daily source of politically-charged catfighting, we suppose some T&A wouldn't be entirely out of place.

For all too long, Sherri Shepherd has stayed relatively quiet on The View, keeping a low profile (except for the occasional blow-up at Bill Maher) and generally avoiding the sort of "flat earth" gaffes that would draw the pity spotlight away from her cohost Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Today, though, in the midst of another Hasselbeck political rant about Barack Obama's association with William Ayers, a surprisingly prepared Shepherd jumped in to rebut the show's token conservative with a "Wait, wait, wait — no you don't!"Following her interruption with a laundry list of facts, dates, and counterpoints, Shepherd was eventually cut off by Barbara Walters, who was not ready for the cohost to do anything but smile beatifically and occasionally chirp, "Ludacris!" Is our little Sherri all grown up and ready for war? Watch out, Elisabeth: Sherri Shepherd's got a whole fleet of angel-babies at her command — and they're hungry!

Back when Rosie O'Donnell left The View, many industry watchers predicted the program would quickly return to its safe, easygoing roots (and that ratings would dive as a result). Oh, how they underestimated the Hasselbeck! The election year has provoked The View's resident Republican into a lather almost daily, whether she's obfuscating about Barack Obama or calling an unlikely moratorium on Sarah Palin discussion. In fact, things have gotten so heated lately that rampant speculation had Hasselbeck headed for Fox News, forcing her agent to issue a statement today:

♦ Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky are getting married tonight. Mark Consuelos, the husband of Kelly Ripa, is presiding over the ceremony. So if you have no plans and you'd like to see this bizarre menagerie of people for yourself, please show up at Le Cirque on East 58th Street. [P6]
♦ Despite rumors, Elisabeth Hasselbeck says she has no plans to leave the View for Fox News. [E!, People]
♦ Madonna and Alex Rodriguez may have had dinner together, although both of their reps deny it. [P6]
♦ Mark Ronson and Amy Winehouse are working together on a new song. Hopefully it'll turn out better than their last attempt at a collaboration, which "ended in tears." [Mirror]

After Elisabeth Hasselbeck nearly brained Barbara Walters yesterday using a coffee mug filled with steaming-hot Republican rage, producers for The View wisely kept Walters away from today's show, though things were just as politically heated. Today — as it often is — the topic was Sarah Palin, and Hasselbeck's had quite enough of that issue, thank you very much!After Joy Behar ran clips of Palin's two biggest gaffes during her recent Katie Couric interview — Palin's inability to name a Supreme Court case she disagreed with or a single newspaper she read — Hasselbeck attempted to defend the vice presidential candidate, then complained that her cohosts spend too much time talking about Sarah Palin and not enough time talking about Barack Obama. Meanwhile, Joe Biden silently weeped at his exclusion, muttering, "What about meeee? I was on SNL once, too!"

Looks like that cooling-off period didn't take! On today's episode of The View, outnumbered McCain booster Elisabeth Hasselbeck finally let out the pent-up rage she'd so coolly kept under wraps during yesterday's Bill Maher appearance, lashing out at Whoopi Goldberg for voicing skepticism about vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin.Sensing an opportunity to restore order in the most patronizing way possible, Barbara Walters immediately leapt into the fray (though not with hugs), lavishing backhanded compliments on Hasselbeck while muttering that she's "trying so hard" to understand her point of view. Sadly, Hasselbeck immediately blew whatever sympathy she'd gained from Walters's condescension by dodging a question about Sarah Palin with an answer that inspires booing from the audience. Defection to Fox News coming in 5, 4, 3...

♦ Now that Tina Fey is suddenly cool again, publishers are falling over themselves to sign her as an author. The bidding is up to $6 million. [NYP]
♦ Katie Couric: She's back! [AP]
♦ Footage of Elisabeth Hasselbeck feuding with the other View gals over Sarah Palin this morning. [MollyGood]
♦ Norman Lear is teaming up with HBO on a drama series about "the world of 1970s pro wrestling." [THR]
♦ NBC has picked up a remake of the Partridge Family. [THR]
♦ TV's fall lineup has been a ratings disappointment. [WSJ]
♦ Solid ratings for House and Fringe elevated Fox to No. 1 on Tuesday. [TV Decoder]
♦ Citizen journalism has its dangers. Just ask CBS! [AdAge]

After Bill Maher sat down with TV Guide last month to rip into Sherri Shepherd's religious beliefs, we figured his days of guesting on The View had been put firmly behind him. Imagine our surprise, then, when some crafty producer booked Maher for a slot on today's View to promote his new (to the world outside Claremont) film, the controversial, religion-debunking Religulous. Would sparks fly?Lord, yes. Things came to a head at the end of Maher's segment, when Shepherd asked the skeptical Maher whether he had ever spoken with God. Needless to say, he had not, and when Shepherd replied that she had, Maher recommended a stint in Bellevue. As Whoopi Goldberg hurriedly threw the show to commercial, a grinning Elisabeth Hasselbeck clearly exulted in the fact that for once, she wasn't the controversial one. Who needs a "cooling off" now, eh, Babs?

With the rumor mill buzzing that a discontent Elisabeth Hasselbeck may vacate her cushiony seat on The View for the cool, hard Eames chair of Fox News, it's up to den mother Barbara Walters to restore order on the set of her chat show. True to form, Walters has eschewed hugging it out in favor of a more clinical approach; according to the Chicago Sun-Times, she's had to schedule a staff meeting to deal with the increasingly hot-under-the-collar Hasselbeck: