"All eyes are on Lt. Governor David Paterson this week, who is poised to become the first legally blind governor in United States history, and the first African-American governor of New York." That's the American Federation For The Blind, showing the blind can do anything the sighted can, like use awkward wordplay when discussing David Paterson's vision. [AFB]
NY1 is covering Governor Eliot Spitzer's drive from his apartment to his midtown office like the white Bronco chase. It is a glorious day for New York, and the nation. Spitzer was accompanied on the walk from his home to his motorcade by his wife and Ted Wells—disgraced former Bush administration official Scooter Libby's attorney in that Plame thing. Gawker contributor Jim Behrle suggests that Spitzer also ought to be fined for having his "black SUVs driving like dicks in the bus lane." The motorcade just arrived at Spitzer's office, so we shall report on the contents of soon-to-be-former Governor Eliot Spitzer's resignation speech as it happens, after the jump. Update: All done! Video of the speech and our INSTANT RESPONSE, after the jump.
The CNBC TV host is best known for his sweating bullishness on certain stocks and his on-screen anger whenever the Fed lowers rates too tentatively for his liking. This morning, speaking with Today's Meredith Vieira, the stockmarket pundit showed his command of the full range of live television emotions. Cramer is an old law-school friend of Eliot Spitzer, the scandal-ridden Governor of New York, and the embattled politician's wife, Silda. "I love him, and I love Silda," said Cramer. "He will still always be my friend... I obviously didn't know him as well as I thought." Anodyne stuff; but watch the clip. The CNBC yeller nearly breaks down.
Predictably, the winning entry in yesterday's headline competition was too raunchy and, more importantly, too long to be mocked up. So we took another for our alternate New York Post front page. (Actually, I'm not sure this is entirely original. Jon Stewart, on The Daily Show, used the line as a joke on Monday night.)
Things are a little awkward at the New York Times lately. The 'McCain possibly maybe having an affair' story was a flop, they just lost all-star critic Kelefa Sanneh to the New Yorker and their foremost legal expert, Linda Greenhouse, is taking a buyout. But if the Spitzer story has taught us anything, it's that hookers are a waste of money and that the New York Times' Metro desk is becoming the paper's (unlikely) best asset in this new new media battlefield.
Take this with a larger than usual dose of skepticism: a screengrab purporting to show the high-class escort hired by New York's Governor last month. The details of the 5'5" girl fit the description in the FBI affidavit which detailed the communication between the Kristen, her agency, and Client 9, the man once considered a future presidential candidate. And the design of the web page is similar to that of other entries on the site (now defunct) advertising the Emperors Club's escorts. But we received the image from a site associated with Michael Caputo, a known agent of state Republicans; his motives are not pure. (Cajunboy, you have a view: is this the girl?)
Eliot Spitzer is going to resign any minute now (or sometime in the next few hours). The resignation will be announced today, and will take effect next Monday. Last night the Times said, rather cryptically, that his wife wanted him to stay on (no reason why—she wanted him out of the house?), others report that Spitzer was holding off on a resignation until his lawyers could get federal prosecutors to promise not to charge him with anything. The New York Post can exclusively report that Governor Spitzer wanted to "set the mood" before his illicit tryst with an unknown "classical-music CD." Oh, and the Guv has enjoyed the company of hookers for ten years or so (or, as the Post puts it, he "has been hopping into bed with harlots for as long as a decade and traveled as far as Florida for steamy trysts"). He is a good tipper. A NY1 reporter just announced that the press gathered outside Spitzer's apartment are "waiting for the money shot." Update: An announcement will come at 11:30. At his apartment, at his midtown office, from room 871 in the Mayflower Hotel—no one knows! It might just be a letter, placed in an envelope with a thousand dollars cash and left on the media's dresser.
No matter how scandalous the situations that public figures find themselves in, it seems that there will always be some people willing to rise to their defense. Groups have sprung up to save the careers of both scandalized hooker patron/ Governor Eliot Spitzer, and disgraced former Food Network celebrity chef Robert Irvine, who was outed as a big fat liar and subsequently fired. Both those guys can use all the help they can get. Unfortunately for them, the types of people who form ad hoc online groups in support of fallen idols always seem to be non-influential nutcases (like Democrats!).
Comedy shows had a tough time dealing with the Eliot Spitzer sex scandal Monday night, since the story broke not in the morning papers, like most of their fodder, but in the afternoon. Comedy Central's Daily Show, for example, led with some half-baked Spitzer jokes before segueing into a package on the Wyoming Democratic primary. Half an hour later, the Colbert Report was hardly any better. Even Jay Leno on NBC's Tonight Show stumbled when he delivered an off-color joke that turned the audience against him (see video after the jump). But CBS Late Show host David Letterman, who has always affected a loose and quirky manner in front of the camera, unleashed a barrage of smart jokes at the start of his monologue that are still worth watching 36 hours later:
"Spitzer... traveled as far as Florida for call-girl trysts, sources said. Two law enforcement officials said that 'safety' worries expressed by one of the bookers about Client 9 was Spitzer's preference not to wear a condom during his $3,000 night with the prostitute. But the hooker, Kristen, apparently insisted on one and he submitted to her request, according to court papers." [NY Post]
"What really snared Spitzer was a money laundering investigation flagged by suspicious activity reports (SARs) that banks have to file with the Treasury ... The prostitution ring that counted Spitzer as a customer was investigated due to some shady bank accounts, checks and wire transfers with big totals ($39,000, $400,000 and others).
Times headline update: from "weighing" a resignation this morning to "expecting" same this afternoon to "HOW MUCH DID YOU PAY TO FUCK AROUND WITH US FOR TWO DAYS, ELIOT?"
A collective "HOLY SHIT" was heard round the media world yesterday over the news that New York Governor Eliot "Spitz" Spitzer paid for play with painted harlots in the Mayflower hotel. A classic political sex scandal with all the fixin's is a welcome break from droll primary coverage. After the jump, a graphical breakdown of media reaction to 3/10/08.
And he could have been the first Jewish president! Eliot Spitzer, (still) governor of New York State, is weighing his resignation following his tryst with a shiksa prostitute. Though the idea of a Jewish president is great, let's be real: The guy was way too bald to ever make it into the Oval Office, regardless of his foreskin status. Some have blamed the Portnoy's Complaint instinct for this mess, but honestly, if this affair shows anything, it's that Jews are just like any other politicians, only occasionally more so.
Earlier this morning we asked our commenters to top the day's tabloid newspaper headlines, which were all about embattled New York governor Eliot Spitzer (he's having hooker problems). We've gotten over one hundred submissions, and, in the interest of preserving democracy, have selected seven for you to vote on. We'll post the winner as its own front page headline on this here site and bestow glory and riches upon its author.* Poll is after the jump. Update: An eighth headline has been added.
When the Spitzer sex scandal broke yesterday, we got in touch with a couple of real live crisis PR professionals to find out what sorts of devious spin moves they would use to help rescue the Governor's career and his reputation from dishonor. If Eliot came to them, cash in hand, asking for public salvation, how would they do it? Their answer: what are we, magicians?
