Eliot, We Hardly Spitz Ye: The 2-Minute Resignation
NY1 is covering Governor Eliot Spitzer's drive from his apartment to his midtown office like the white Bronco chase. It is a glorious day for New York, and the nation. Spitzer was accompanied on the walk from his home to his motorcade by his wife and Ted Wells—disgraced former Bush administration official Scooter Libby's attorney in that Plame thing. Gawker contributor Jim Behrle suggests that Spitzer also ought to be fined for having his "black SUVs driving like dicks in the bus lane." The motorcade just arrived at Spitzer's office, so we shall report on the contents of soon-to-be-former Governor Eliot Spitzer's resignation speech as it happens, after the jump. Update: All done! Video of the speech and our INSTANT RESPONSE, after the jump.
11:43 "Words cannot describe how grateful I am for the love and compassion they have shown me." That is in relation to his family, not high-class five-diamond hookers.
11:46 Everyone should take responsibility for their conduct, so he's resigning. At Lt Gov Patterson's request, it won't be until next Monday. Silda Wall is wearing something a little darker today. Looks good! Eliot will now try to fix America outside of public life.
11:47 Thank you very much, goodbye. Pat Kiernan says "clearly" more time and effort was put into that speech than the one on Monday. No political intentions for the future. No President Spitzer! End of an era! We salute you, Eliot Spitzer, America's Greatest Governor ever.
11:49 He was this close to having control of the assembly and the state senate. Then he could've legalized whoring and this whole mess never would've happened. :(
12:01 CNN reports that Spitzer's resignation will not save him from being charged with moving money around to pay for hookers. It's not the crime, it's the cover-up of the preparations for the crime! Follow the money!
12:15 NY1 has a reporter still hanging out back at Spitzer's apartment. There are, apparently, "Japanese tourists" taking pictures. How awesome would it be if Eliot and Silda said fuck it and did like a Britney Spears tour of gas stations and drug stores instead of going back home? Silda picks up a pregnancy test, Eliot wears a wig and speaks in an English accent—that is the best way for New York to receive closure, Mr. Former Governor. You owe it to us.