The good news: After 133 days, 21 hours and approximately 10,000 ill-advised thinkpieces, the Associated Press reports that primary season is finally over, my dudes.

Having powered through the “futile bargaining” phase of the Donald Trump grieving process, the Senate’s bereaved Republicans are now processing the 2016 election as full-on depression, according to reports released Tuesday.

With his improvised, frequently contradictory policy statements, Donald Trump’s proposals have often better resembled a Rorschach test than a traditional political platform. On Monday, however, the presumptive Republican nominee offered his clearest rejection of authorial intent yet, tasking the American people with decoding his claim that “there’s something going on” with President Obama and radical Islam.

In a speech today, amid lots of other incoherence, Donald Trump articulated a newly expanded version of his xenophobic “ban Muslims” immigration policy. Consider the implications of this statement:

Donald Trump, one of the two people most likely to become our next president, spent the day disseminating unverified information and using innocent victims’ deaths as a chance to pat himself on the back. And he’s just getting started.

The presumptive face of the Republican Party screamed a series of loosely related words at thousands of people in Tampa earlier today, pausing only to clap quietly to himself as he embraced a large piece of colored cloth.

On Thursday, USA Today and The Wall Street Journal released mammoth reports documenting Donald Trump’s alleged failures to pay his bills full. In hundreds of court filings from more than 30 states, the newspapers found businesses owners, contractors and employees who claimed Trump and his companies refused to pay what they owed.

On The Rachel Maddow Show Thursday night, Senator Elizabeth Warren endorsed presumptive Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton and expressed her preparedness to serve as commander-in-chief if elected Vice President.

In response to Donald Trump’s racial attacks on Judge Gonzalo Curiel, GOP Senator Mark Kirk went so far as to un-endorse his party’s presumptive nominee this week, but another Senate Republican went even further on Thursday, suggesting she could vote for Hillary Clinton instead.

As expected, President Barack Obama (a superdelegate) has endorsed Hillary Clinton in her bid to become the first female president of the United States. “I don’t think there’s ever been someone so qualified to hold this office,” he said in a video announcement.

A Bloomberg report released Wednesday offered surprising new details about Donald Trump’s search for Vice President, including his consideration of “at least one” former rival who hasn’t endorsed him and concerns within the campaign that Trump will suddenly announce his pick online.

San Francisco’s Crissy Field is a treeless stretch of grass nestled in the armpit of the Golden Gate Bridge. The setting is picturesque, but the location—foggy, windswept, inaccessible—sucks. This did not stop Senator Bernie Sanders from summoning his supporters there on Monday, for what would turn out to be the last night, indeed, the last few minutes, during which the Vermont senator still had a shred of an excuse to remain hopeful about his prospects.

The Associated Press called the California and New Mexico Democratic primaries for Hillary Clinton early this morning, adding the states to the candidate’s slate of victories this week. The news follows Clinton’s win in New Jersey, and further secures her claim to the presidential nomination.

Barring an act of god or the FBI, Bernie Sanders is not going to win the Democratic nomination. He does, however, now have a window to make some demands in exchange for his support. What should he get?

Shortly before midnight, The White House announced that President Obama had personally spoken to both Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders Tuesday evening, commending the former for her presumptive nomination and the latter for “energizing millions of Americans.”

According to projections by the Associated Press, Hillary Clinton will win Tuesday’s Democratic primary in New Jersey, making her the presumptive Democratic nominee, which, according to the AP, she already was.

During a CNN panel discussion on Tuesday, former Reagan aide Jeffrey Lord argued that Donald Trump’s widely condemned comments about Judge Gonzalo Curiel were not, in fact, racist and were instead pointing out racism.

A Minnesota man selected as a delegate for Bernie Sanders on Saturday was asked to withdraw just one day later when it was discovered he caught a felony drug rap earlier this year, Politico reports.

After a new survey of superdelegates, the Associated Press declared the inevitable Monday evening, naming Hillary Clinton the presumptive Democratic nominee. According to Gawker’s own survey of hypothetical genetic clones of Martin O’Malley, however, the former Maryland Governor will easily win the nomination should all party officials die and be replaced by said clones.

On Monday, Democratic congressman Filemon Vela offered Donald Trump some unsolicited advice on the placement of his “frankly astounding and asinine” border wall, recommending the Republican nominee “shove it up [his] ass,” which is racist.