Noooooooo: Last week we heard the heartwarming story of how old school rapper Roxanne Shante got her evil record company to pay more than $200K for her to get a Ph.D. Now Slate says the whole story's a fake.

It's an age-old tale: site becomes popular, slags and hags use it for financial gain, the olds get mad. And Twitter is not immune. Thus, Business Week's Sarah Lacy warns the company to clean up its act.

Famous Judd Ashley Judd has enrolled at Harvard! She is working toward the Kennedy School's Mid-Career Master in Public Administration. That is the program for people who want to, like, run countries or the UN.

Marketing whizzes for a movie called I Love You, Beth Cooper figured that a good idea to generate "buzz" would be to pay some valedictorian for a product placement in her high school graduation speech. They were wrong.

The Way We Live Now: Playin' hooky. Schoooooool's outttt forrrrrrrr summer! Yea! School's out forever! Really. They can't afford summer school any more. Too bad that happened right when unemployment hit double digits. No job. No school. Nada.

Planned Parenthood is mailing condoms to college kids in their welcome packets, which would be totally passé in developed regions of the country. But this was in Missouri!

Last night we were baffled by a Columbia graduation fuss involving a professor blocking a student's graduation. It turns to be a classic new media/old media debate, on the ethics of content sharing, according to an email from the student.

Today was graduation at the Columbia Journalism School, and the ceremonies were tinged with regret. Not just because the news media is imploding, either: there's a mysterious flap involving a non-graduating student and a professor who supposedly breached "standards of communication."

High school sucks sometimes. Prime example: boy finds date, boy goes to the big dance, and boy probably returns home at a reasonable hour. What happens? Boy gets suspended.

30 Million Americans (14%) 16 or older are illiterate. Which kinda makes reading Twilight okay.

Schools suck! And they're expensive! But who will teach us Twitter? Our discussion on education reform continues with fallen academic, but American Book Award winner, Jeff Chang and Macy Halford of The New Yorker's book-blog.

Mark C. Taylor, chairman of Columbia University's Religion department, started some shit. So much we need two posts to flush-it down properly. First up: Kate Perkins and Dan Kois. God can't save you now, Mark!

Some crazy fourth grade teacher in Texas (*Texas joke*) allowed her young charges to write sympathy notes to AIG, of all places, which made AIG execs absolutely weepy. Public education fails again:

Here we have, you know, big ass butts, pimping food to children. Which is totally wrong, which is, of course, the whole point, because SO COOL ad agency Crispin Porter Bogusky, the inventors of all the weird Burger King ad shit, did this ad, and they just love doing things that people will say is too weird and also wrong, because it generates "Buzz," just like Midtown Manhattan. The point is Sir Mix-a-Lot is teaching obesity and sexuality to your kids and you're really okay with that, deep down, because you love Whoppers.

Nobody could blame Oprah for one sex scandal at that save-the-youth school she opened in South Africa, but now that there's another sex scandal there, we must ask, "Does Oprah love sex, and scandals???"

Meanwhile, in Dallas, Texas, a high school principal is under fire for ordering students to fight each other in cage matches, at school.

2009 is a terrible time to be young, if you're the type of young person who wants a job in the media, as opposed to the drug distribution industry. The "entry level" is...closed.

"Dear Mr. Charney," begins the most misguided letter ever from a third grader to someone she looks up to. What are they teaching in the schools now, porno sex for the kids?

After last night's clash with cops, a hardcore band of dead-enders continued to occupy the NYU student center food court, for Democracy. But it sounds like it's game over now people. The Man wins!

The mediacentric Greenwich Village private high school backed by Graydon Carter and John Leguizamo—well, but it's having some problems. Have heartless celebrities given up on educating downtown's most elite teenagers? Someone save the youth!