539,000 people lost their jobs in April. Atrocious figure, but fewer than in March.

"[White House National Economic Council Director Lawrence] Summers owns a 1995 Mazda Protege that's registered in Massachusetts." [Detroit News]

Barack Obama is in Elkhart, Indiana, one of those towns where there aren't any jobs left, to shame the Senate into passing his damn stimulus bill already.

Were you looking for a job, maybe with President Obama? Hah, you just got identity thefted! USAJOBS, the government's online job database, has been hacked.

Guys have you heard about this stimulus bill? It is made up entirely of $1 trillion dollars spent on sex, filthy unreproductive sex!

In tough times we all need to cut back on frivolous expenditures. And no expenditures are more frivolous than the ones listed in New York's annual "Best of New York" issue. Except this year!

Tina Brown, author of a best-selling book on Princess Diana and editor-in-chief of a neat blogsite that is like HuffPo but without the faux-populism "anyone can blog" shtick, is really sweating this new media environment.

This is it! January 5, 2009: the beginning of the Obama presidency. He is on TV fixing the economy, making tough decisions, being presidential, and the inauguration is just a formality now.

When does a recession turn into a depression? When economists start getting fired! Since the experts can't even agree on how long this downturn will last, let's hope that starts happening soon.

Fabulously rich people are nothing if not sensitive. Take Kathy Fuld, who still goes on once-a-week $5,000-10,000 shopping sprees at Hermès, but nowadays, so she doesn't offend anyone, she tries to keep quiet about it.

Tim Geithner is Barack Obama's pick for Treasury Secretary, which is probably the most important job in his administration, and no one really quite knows how to feel about that. He's a Rubinite and maybe responsible for killing Lehman but also he's never been a banker, so there you go. But now apparently Tim Geithner is inexplicably going after beloved FDIC chair Sheila Bair. Not Sheila Bair!

People criticize President-Elect Hopey Hussein McGee for promising "change" and then appointing "people with experience in Washington." At his press conference today, he was asked about all the grizzled white dudes from Washington he keeps hiring to fix the economy. As he points out, new Economic Recovery Advisory Board head Paul Volcker hasn't been anywhere near Washington in years, and board staffer Austin Goolsbee has never been to Washington, ever. Then there is an implied joke about Austin's "fresh face" or something, which gets a chuckle from the crowd, thus fulfilling Obama's "one moment of levity per press conference" mandate. A new tone!

Hey, Barry Obama had his third press conference in three days. This one was about introducing his Economic Recovery Advisement Board, headed by Paul Volcker, founding member of the Trilateral Commission and former Fed Chair under Carter and Reagan. He's very tall which is reassuring in these dark times. Volcker is also not a Clintonite! He is a Carterite. Reassuring, right? "Help is on the way," Obama said during his presser. That was John Kerry's campaign slogan so we're doomed. Obama also said he'd go shopping this Friday, but neglected to urge Americans to continue spending beyond their means on useless consumer goods, which proves he's a terrible leader. [HuffPo, Photo: AP]

Tim Geithner, the president of the New York Federal Reserve Bank, is the next United States Treasury Secretary. That job is suddenly more important than all the other cabinet positions, because the economy is cratering. Is he a good pick, because he's knowledgeable and not a banker and will think big? Or is he a terrible pick because he's a Rubinite and killed Lehman and the whole recession is all his fault? No one knows but many will speculate wildly. A number of Wall Street types—speaking to Times DealBook columnist Andrew Ross Sorkin on the condition of anonymity because the recession is actually their fault—say Geithner is baaaaad. Banking industry experts agree!

It's hard to think of a segment of the economy not affected by the recession, but Santa? The sight of the friendly guy is usually everywhere as December nears, but his pricetag is becoming prohibitive. Apparently you weren't aware of how much a hardworking Bad Santa can take down in a typical Christmas season. Things were really, really good for Lower East Side Santa Dick Shea two years ago, according to the New York Post. He pulled in a jawdropping $30,000, a number he won't approach in 2008 even if it he sells off his reindeer and sleigh. You'll be shocked by what he expects to pull in this Christmas:Shea is a 69 year old veteran of the Santa game, and though he used to make bank, he won't this year:

Barack Obama's Treasury Secretary pick made the stocks jump! We're all saved! Drudge calls New York Fed President Tim Geithner "The Man Who Can Save Economy?" (Family Love Geithner!) Geithner worked, obviously, at the Treasury Department that helped create this mess, in the Bob Rubin and Larry Summers days. His background is solid "didn't foresee this in retrospect obvious problem" economist, what with his IMF and Group of Thirty stints, just like everyone else considered for the job. Woman-hater Larry Summers will still probably do something in an Obama administration. Meanwhile comical New Mexico governor Bill Richardson will be our Commerce Secretary, because he's clearly bored in New Mexico. Hillary Clinton is still dithering about her job offer, and Obama will apparently finally announce that whole thing after Thanksgiving.

More good layoffs! Shortly after Focus on the Family announced its workforce reduction, Oral Roberts announces it's laying off 100 employees. The economy: winning the culture war for us. Related: look at that creepy campus sculpture! [Wonkette](Photograph of the Praying Hands bronze scructure at the main entrance to the campus of Oral Roberts University taken in Tulsa, Oklahoma on 15 September 2004 by Dustin M. Ramsey.)

Focus on the Family, the official religious arm of all that is wrong and bad in America, is laying off 149 hateful scumbags. That's 21% of their workforce! They'll all be forced to roam the streets of Colorado Springs, hopefully resorting to cannibalism or possibly having the gay sex they've always secretly longed for in exchange for the drugs they're all addicted to. Also four of the group's eight magazines will now appear only on-line. Eight magazines! Jesus! Apparently donations to Dr. James Dobson's International House of Cartoonish Intolerance are way down, on account of the Christian right being demoralized by our Muslim Terrorist President-elect. So, hey, let's all celebrate! A round of abortions on us! [UPI]

The financiapocalypse? So 2008. The economy may start growing again in the second half of next year. July? That's practically next month. Too bad about your job, though: Unemployment is expected to peak at 7.7 percent in December 2009. [WSJ]

Fuzzy handheld footage of Obama's first meeting with his economic team. "This is literally coming in at the moment... It's gonna be a little rough here, folks." None of the talking heads have any idea what's going on.