An irate Malibu resident objected to iconic actor Dustin Hoffman's choice of t-shirt over the weekend. The woman didn't believe that the term "fruitcake" accurately described Hoffman and his career. The woman said, "You're not a fruitcake, Mr. Hoffman. You're a legend. A national treasure. Now, my sister who lives in Florida, she's the fruitcake. No kids, but she's got a spare room full of those little Hummel figurines and distressed Pepsi bottles. I mean, old Pepsi bottles as far as the eyes can see. Who does that?" Hoffman was sorry to hear about the woman's sister and explained that it was a gag shirt. The woman then told the Tootsie star that she understands the role of the gag shirt in society, but that Hoffman shouldn't be stooping to that level.

Celebrating birthdays today: Real estate broker Deborah Grubman—who also happens to be the wife of Allen and stepmom of Lizzie—turns 56. Party planner extraordinaire David Monn is 45. Designer John Varvatos turns 54. Dustin Hoffman is 71. Two former boy band-ers, Drew Lachey and JC Chasez, both turn 32 today. Tennis star Roger Federer is 27. And Robin Quivers is 56. Saturday is the big day for Chris Cuomo (left) who will be celebrating his 37th. Michael Kors will be turning 49. Allure's Linda Wells will be 50. And real estate broker Larry Kaiser and designer Peter Marino will be a year older on Saturday, too. On Sunday: Fashion icon Betsey Johnson will be 66, actress Angie Harmon will be 36, and real estate developer Harry Macklowe will turn 71.

Several months ago, the red-band trailer for Tropic Thunder suggested that not only could Ben Stiller's Hollywood satire be summer's most surefire gutbuster, but also that its trailer-within-a-trailer — featuring Stiller as the developmentally disabled title character of the Oscar-bait drama Simple Jack — portended perhaps the best movie never made. (And look! It even has its own Web site!) But having seen Thunder and thus the degree to which Simple Jack plays a role in the story, we think we got our fill: "You went full retard, man" Robert Downey Jr.'s Method actor (in blackface!) tells Stiller's slumping action hero. "Never go full retard." His logic is crystalline, but alas, its political incorrectness is drawing even deeper consideration this morning as disability advocates wage war on the R-Word:

Because the week wasn't ruined enough with RoboCop news and word of Gene Simmons judging ad jingles, the End of Ideas caravan rolls on today with not one, not two but three whole fucking remake concepts for us to dread — none more irritating than Hyde Park's reimagining of Blake Edwards's classic 10. It's not that the Dudley Moore/Bo Derek comedy is untouchable, but at least Edwards doesn't have hold it down while the new producers rape it:

Radar reports that our favorite box office trailblazer, Josh Hartnett, has finally given up hope of nailing zingers on 30 Rock or appearing in a mildly successful movie and moved on to simpler pursuits: the London theater. In a role that will certainly pay homage to Tom Cruise’s former career as an actor, Hartnett will appear as Rain Man’s Charlie Babbit opposite a less-heartthrobby Brit filling Dustin Hoffman’s pigeon-toed shoes. Most interesting of all? Hartnett manages to say, “It has always been my intent to work on the London stage,” without laughing. But the bigger question remains (ahem, Katie Holmes): why do movie stars assume tackling the theater will be a breezy little side-job guaranteed to build acting cred? The track records of Julia Roberts, Denzel Washington, and David Schwimmer beg to differ, after the jump.

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

As we noted yesterday, Jack Black took the liberty of announcing that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are expecting twins during a pre-taped interview on The Today Show, which we all got to see for ourselves this morning. One would think Black’s blooper would ruffle Jolie’s feathers, but as this clip shows, Jolie handled the situation with breezy laughter and an amicable Oh Well! shrug. And as it turns out, Black wasn’t the only Kung Fu Panda co-star to fill everyone in on The Chosen Two’s glorious impending arrival. Once again for no apparent reason, fading funny man Dustin Hoffman decided to reveal the twins’ due date during the same segment. When Brangelina is expecting and which nationality Jolie has selected for her next soccer team members, after the jump.

Dustin Hoffman may actually be America's oldest teenager (or at least America's oldest twentysomething) just on the verge of really making something happen.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often—the fate of the universe relies upon it! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about how your spotting of Jimmy Fallon confirmed everything you always suspected about what his hair might look in person.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Frodo Baggins overwhelmed with pre-Christmas shopping bags on the 3rd St. Promenade.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time the presence of Judd Apatow's husky muse Seth Rogen sent shockwaves throughout a Beverly Blvd. coffee house.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time you spotted Ryan Atwood quietly plotting his next career move at a Venice eatery.

It was less than two weeks ago when Ellen Tien told us What Lisa Hoffman is Wearing, and more importantly, what she's Selling. "She's become such a proficient globe-trotter that this year she created a travel-friendly line of skin care products, Lisa Hoffman Night & Day 24 Hour Skincare. 'Most people shop for upcoming seasons,'' Ms. Hoffman said. 'I shop for upcoming locations.'" Today, we find another glowing mention of Lisa in a roundup of celebrity wives who have beauty businesses as hobbies, full of sentences that read like ad copy, eg, "Lisa Hoffman's line, Night & Day 24 Hour Skincare, packages products in sizes that can probably pass muster with even the most ornery airport security agents." But it's not all fluff! Eventually the reporter gets around to asking Lisa whether her husband's fame has helped her business. "Sure it opens doors for me, but if the product wasn't good, nobody would buy it," she replied. Uh huh. And no one would write about it either.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them often—but please pull over if you plan on Blackberrying them from the road. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the time you saw David "Dookie Drawers" Spade having brunch.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in like you mean it. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the most recent time you spotted Tony Hale purchasing a DVD of his own work:

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the time you witnessed Ryan O'Neal's last carefree moments at Mastro's before...the incident.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are now posted several times a week—so start sending them in more often! Send yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the time you saw Reese Witherspoon surreptitiously digging into a plate of Vive La French Toast at your neighborhood IHOP.

Vanity Fair's Nina Munk is following the AOL/TW saga in preparation for a book. If it's optioned for film, Munk's casting choices are as follows: "Peter Gallagher as Bob Pittman; Burt Reynolds as Ted Turner; Dustin Hoffman as Gerald Levin; James Earl Jones as Richard Parsons; and either Michael Douglas or Kiefer Sutherland (with his hair darkened, presumably) as Steve Case."
Eyeing media [IWantMedia]