Amour, a Canadian porno television network, is running a slew of promo ads showing, haha, dumb porno girls being dumb. 1. Since when does porn need ads? 2. Sexist much? 3. What's wrong with you, Canada? You've changed. [via Adfreak]

Great news for those who don't find Gramercy bars gimmicky enough: at the Exchange Bar & Grill, food and drink prices fluctuate like stock prices, based on demand. So...cheap food, expensive cocaine? [ABC]

A new survey shows that more Americans than ever believe colleges care about money far more than they care about giving students a quality education. In other news, eight US states are now planning to send kids straight to college after 10th grade. College: out of reach, but worthless.

Haiti? Old. The deficit? Boring. America's most important news story today: The fat Jets coach flipped the bird to the camera. Could this be the most inane New York Post cover of the decade thus far? It does have competition.

Never in history has anything good come from a "manifesto." Their effects range from misguided repression (political manifestos) to mere annoyance (college student-written manifestos). Oh look, a new "manifesto" is out! "A Slow-Word Movement." First ever good manifesto? No.

Yes. Eleven god damn pounds of coke, he tried to buy, in Florida. Allegedly! He and two other guys were arrested last week, and now the DEA has released its version of the story, in which a snitch told them earlier this month that Buju et al "wanted to purchase kilogramme amounts of cocaine in the Sarasota area of the Middle District of Florida." Yea, while you're in Sarasota, pick up some coke, k? So the DEA stone cold set them up, undercover style. Allegedly:

As if a Muslim president wasn't bad enough, now we have a Cablinasian golfer trying steal the white man's women. It's outrageous. The only solution is outrageously stupid pundit statements. Today: Rush Limbaugh vs. Eugene Robinson. Vote below!

Catholic lady Joanna Krupa's pose in this new PETA ad (click to enlarge) has the Catholic League's Crazy Bill Donohue upset, but you know who looks like they really like it? The dogs, and that's the point. [Adfreak]

"For Christ's Sake," ha: Secular Thanksgiving is over, which means it's time for the Atheist War on Christmas to begin anew.

Profusion of "Keep Calm and Carry On" posters successfully ends the recession.

Wine criticism: Bullshit. Add it to the list.

In your flippant Friday media column: everyone's very excited about Time's "Person of the Year," as always, Playboy may be sold, fashion magazines stay positive, and CNN decides to waste less money.

So far this week, the UN missions of six separate countries have been temporarily shut down and decontaminated because they received envelopes full of flour in the mail. This whole "anthrax" thing is overrated.

Funemployment! It has been the exclusive province of not just the rich, but also those lucky bastards who received the mythical "severance pay." So how are those severance checks holding up now, hmmmm?

In your malicious Monday media column: the Detroit newspaper situation grows more depressing, Mika Brzezinski is one honest lady, Denver Post sportswriters have no opinion on these "sports," and Howard Kurtz is still the King of Boring Conventional Wisdom.

Every day at this leftist gay gossip site, Gawker, I write a "Recessionomics" column, which is like John Maynard Keynes after a massive head injury, but before he learned anything about economics. Finally, Rush Limbaugh has endorsed its econometrical findings.

This article today does us all a great service by reminding us to remind you that numerology—like the concept of juice-based "cleansing" systems—is bullshit. If you believe in it, stop now. It is so dumb.

After much deliberation, Microsoft has decided against sponsoring the upcoming Family Guy special, 'Seth MacFarlane's Holocaust Incest Tampon Hour.' They join an illustrious list of Family Guy haters.