"1 Thing" is one daily thing recommended for you, by us.

From a Paris bus shelter. Those stylish French ... even their graffiti'd critiques of Kate Moss could be easily mistaken for a legitimate fashion campaign blurb.

• This may be hard for some of you to believe, but the reunion of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie may be less about friendship and more about haggling with Simple Life producer Jon Murray. Don't look for BFF necklaces anytime soon. [AP]
• Meanwhile, the Hilton sisters get drunk and sing in Vegas. Just another day ending in "y". [TMZ]
• Diane Sawyer skips a Good Morning America party, signaling to staff that she's so over that shit. [R&M]
• Janet Jackson is apartment hunting, eyeballing a $30 million residence in a Columbus Circle tower. It's a small price to pay for the proximity to Whole Foods. [Scoop]
• Ellen Barkin stands to make about $15 million selling off the jewelry given to her by ex-husband Ron Perelman. And she's not selling because she wants to move on or anything — she just wants to make some cash without actually having to work again. Don't we all? [Page Six]
• Jimmy Buffett takes to his blog to explain the his "ecstasy bust" at French customs: he was just hauling vitamins. Happy, loving, glowing vitamins. [Page Six]

Things are not always as they appear. It would be unfair to draw any conclusions based solely on these photos.

• Jimmy Buffett is busted in France after customs discovers around 100 hits of ecstasy in his luggage. His flack claims that it was only 20 pills, and they were prescription medication — but Buffett agreed to pay a fine, which doesn't make sense if his stash were legal. No word on why authorities searched him in the first place, but it probably had something to do with all those glowsticks he was waving around. [Page Six]
• We wouldn't put it past Andy Dick to hit on his 18-year-old son. [Lowdown]
• Let's reiterate, for a third day in a row, that Madonna is not adopting a child in Malawi. She's just sprinkling orphans with Kabbalah water. [Page Six]
• Eva Longoria bruises a rib, which is only slightly more tragic than breaking a nail. [R&M (bottom)]

• Guess who's back on the sauce? Mel Gibson, that's who. There's no way he could get through the high holidays sober. [Scoop]
• Contrary to reports, Madonna did not adopt a baby boy in Malawi, nor does she ever feel the need to stoop to that Jolie bitch's level. [People]
• Cobble Hill! Park Slope! Grups! Coffeehouse turf wars! We hate Brooklyn! [Brooklyn Papers]
• Promoter of overpriced social functions turns to promoting overpriced charity water. [NYSun]
• NYC Google office functions as mid-90s-flashback goatee farm. [PSFK]
• The Times' Freemason Article Quota is satisfied. [Animal]
• It's our third O'Donnell mention in a single day, but Rosie's totally up in the Pope's grill. God forbid, literally. [WND]
• Crystal meth: untapped marketing tool. [Towleroad]
• For every question you ask Warren Beatty, he'll take 15 minutes to answer. This doesn't reflect his thoughtfulness so much as his senility. [The Reeler]
• Suspected Project Runway cheat takes to MySpace comments boards for his self-defense. [Blogging Project Runway]
• Every time a model falls, and angel gets his wings. [TMZ]

• George Michael gets so stoned that he stops his car in the middle of a North London intersection and slumps over. This, alas, leads to his arrest. Poor dude's just chilling a little bit, thinking about McDonald's...what's the big deal, man? [AP]
• After realizing that baring her breasts is not enough to sell albums, Janet Jackson considers a reunion with Justin Timberlake for a "big, live show." Because if Timberlake bares her breasts for her, then she'll taste success. [Page Six]
• Robin Williams: in and out of rehab before you even knew he was gone. [R&M (2nd item)]
• Martha Stewart has a torn hip muscle. It's not the proverbial broken hip, but any injury in that area signifies the beginning of senility. [Lowdown (2nd item)]
• Katie Holmes starves herself until she's thin. At least she's starting to behave like a normal starlet again. [Scoop]
• The 25-room Guccione mansion is going for $5 million dollars? That's a helluva price cut, or a helluva gaffe. [Page Six]
• When Aaron Nick (does it make a difference, really?) Carter learned that Paris Hilton was cheating on him with Chad Michael Murray, he beat the crap out of her. Then he went and hooked up with Ashlee Simpson. [Us Weekly]

The autopsy reports on Anna Nicole Smith's son Daniel are finally being revealed (recap: two days after Anna Nicole gave birth to a baby girl, Daniel was found mysteriously dead in the hospital room); Daniel died from an unintentionally fatal combination (is there any other kind?) of Lexapro, Zoloft and methadone. Lexapro and Zoloft are prescribed for depression and anxiety disorders, while methadone is the pain reliever of choice for junkies near and far. There's been no mention or suggestion that Daniel had a drug problem, but there's not been any sort of denial, either. At any rate, the combination proved lethal; pathologist Cyril Wecht gives a sensitive explanation:

God bless the British tabloids, even if they've not yet mastered red-eye reduction.

Great news for fans of Kate Moss, the rail-blowing supermodel who lost millions in contracts — and then made more millions than ever — on the rebound after she was photographed cutting lines for herself, then-beau Pete Doherty, and his bandmates. The Associated Press reports (and really, this is AP-worthy) that Moss is back with Doherty; the two are traveling together in Ireland, where Doherty's band is on tour. At a show outside of Dublin, Moss even took the stage to sing along with Doherty for a few songs.

• Behold the glory of over 1.5 pounds of marijuana and 3+ ounces of shrooms, courtesy of Willie Nelson, America's beloved, fucked-up grandpa. [Blooming Ideas]
• Desperate Housewives creator puts a ban on cast pregnancies, threatening mandatory hysterectomies for anyone suspected of procreating. [Us Weekly]
• Lloyd Grove thinks Cindy Crawford's five-year-old daughter is smoking. [Lowdown]
• Remarkably, Nicole Richie lives to see the age of 25. [TMZ]
• Leonardo DiCaprio's looking to buy his brmother a condo larger than 1,400-square feet. Growing up in someone's shadow has its perks. [Page Six]
• Spencer Tracy and Katherin Hepburn swung both ways, and this concludes your 1943 gossip roundup. [R&M]

If you're like most overworked urbanites or desperate stay-at-home moms, you likely got hammered last night, drinking with your friendly enablers or in the secrecy of your bathroom. And you may be an incredibly talented writer but, like, so hungover, dude, and so no publisher gives a shit about your drunk tank dramatics. All that matters is whether or not you got clean and if you did so with the appropriate amount of grit, determination and self-deprecation — then you can qualify for the white-hot Rehab Memoir, and join the ranks of James Frey (pre-fabrication), Augusten Burroughs, David Carr, Kitty Dukakis, Bill Moyers and, the focus of today's article in the Observer, former Page Sixer Tom Sykes.

Anyhow: Above, our personal favorite, which has us cackling (not surprising, given that we're still in our pajamas and refuse to work without stimulants). As for the pro-drug messages, they're being uploaded to MySpace. Those people deserve to OD.

• Willie Nelson and friends have been issued misdemeanor citations for posessing about 1.5 pounds of weed and 1/5 of a pound of mushrooms. And this surprises you not in the least. [Billboard]
• Bono tells the fashion crowd to "take your fucking finger food and fuck off." Which at least implies that someone was actually eating. Baby steps. [OAN]
• Did you miss the Brooklyn Book Festival? Aren't you lucky. [Galleycat]
• Cheers to the Times for throwing in a good old spoiler for fans of The Office. [NYT]
• It always helps to have your wife working in your favor on Amazon. [Greatest Living Poet]
• Greenwich Village reaches boiling point; gay teens and cranky old potheads to throwdown before November. [WaPo]
• Robert Hughes would like to thank radical Islamic terrorists for removing that "great ugly scaleless box of a thing" from the New York skyline. [The Australian]

All right, we promise this will be the last installment of our recent obsession with vintage advertising. Still, this one (our subtle favorite from a larger gallery) is worth a look both for its pharmaceutical shilling and its ends-based directive concerning the inconveniently elderly. The ad predates senior-targeted drugvertisements focused on walking by the seashore, dandling babies in laps, or performing creaky tai chi in a park somewhere. Grandpa acting up? Pump him full of Thorazine, and enjoy the drooling silence! We think Gramps is just understandably "agitated and belligerent" about that giant fat tie. Full ad after the jump.

• Is it possible to feel pity for Anna Nicole Smith? Maybe, considering her 20-year-old son mysteriously died in the Bahamas on Sunday, just three days after the birth of Anna Nicole's baby girl. Now the poor woman is grieving, locked in a dark room and listening to Lightning Crashes on repeat. [CNN]
• If you hire Paris Hilton for a movie, you should probably be prepared to deal with unprofessional behavior, considering the bitch doesn't have a freaking profession to begin with. [Page Six]
• Keisha Knight Pulliam — aka Rudy from The Cosby Show — has a totally unconfirmed cocaine habit. Whatever keeps the weight off, girlfriend! [Bossip]
• Martha Stewart predicts that Trump will fire everyone until he's left cold and alone. [M&C]
• For what it's worth, Calvin Klein designer Francisco Costa was in Milan on 9/11, and feels that a lot has happened in five years, particularly his departure from Gucci. [R&M (2nd item)]
• Clothes-whoring socialite Tory Burch will survive as well. Good to know. [Lowdown]
• Brad Pitt loves Daniel Libeskind. Happy 9/11! [National Post]

Breaking: We're hearing that Kevlar spokesman and hip-hop role model 50 Cent, innocently driving his silver Lamborghini just like any of us would, has been arrested on the corner of 35th and 8th, possibly for cocaine. Per usual, this is completely uncomfirmed, based on rumor and hearsay — and yet totally believable.

Seeing as even the crickets are bored off their asses today and yesterday's trip down memory lane inspired so much reverie, we're going back to the eighties once again. Those of you who grew up in other areas will find this both bizarre and impenetrable. Those of you from here originally will be cursing our names for the rest of the evening as this tune goes through your head.

Well, it's the morning after, and boy do we feel pregnant. Luckily for us, our bellies are just engorged with drugs and alcohol, but that certainly doesn't mute our delight in reporting that the FDA, after three years of hand-wringing, finally approved over-the-counter sales of the morning-after pill. Now all you cupcakes career women shouldn't start freely stuffing your middles with creamy white filling just yet, as your drugstore won't have it until the end of the year. But rest assured it appears there will be less hipsters, bloggers, and Michael No-hers for us to kick around in the future.

• Lindsay's "friend" swears up and down that Lohan is off the nose candy. Just because she's not doing it with you, honey... [Gatecrasher]
• Anna Wintour's interior designer/party planner David Monn has dared to ditch the Vogue editor. After two years of designing her precious Costume Insitute Gala, Monn didn't get so much as a namecheck in the latest Vogue write-up, so he dumped Wintour from his client list. Hellfire, brimstone TK. [Page Six]
• Pete Doherty has been arrested again for possession. This has to be some sort of record, either for drug arrests or utter stupidity. [RS]
• Samantha Cole, the other questionable lady who once slept with Christie Brinkley's philandering hubby Peter Cook, still can't parlay her revived infamy into getting her CD played at a club. [R&M (2nd to last)]
• It's official: the Hoff is a single man. Why are your pants still on?? [Us Weekly]
• Paris Hilton does shots of water, because she hates the taste of alcohol. Besides, she's just as wasted when she's drinking water. [TMZ]
• The secret to a thriving PR company? Cocaine. Not just for your clients, but for yourself. Yay! [Page Six]