South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford took a little secret solo jaunt down to Buenos Aires, just because. What could he do down there, hypothetically? We've put together a guide of popular activities for the single traveler!

Remember the 2006 classic Justin Timberlake/ Emile Hirsch vehicle Alpha Dog, which captured America's heart? Yes, well. It was based on an actual drug-related murder case. The trial is going on now. The suspect says he's (mostly) innocent!

The Smoking Gun has tracked down the court files from Real "Cokewhore" of New Jersey Danielle Staub's 1986 federal prosecution for extortion and cocaine possession. She was arrested with six kilos of coke and $16,000 cash in plain view.

In your maudlin Monday media column: Magazines fail at drug-smuggling, sad layoffs at Videogum and Boston Magazine, newspaper reporters in Canada may strike(!), the NYT pokes the WaPo, and an update on the Milwaukee journalist-cop affair scandal.

Cocaine production in Colombia was down 28% last year. Production was up in Peru and Bolivia—but only 430 metric tons of that classic Colombian powder. Probable culprit: all those canceled Wall Street Christmas parties.

For reasons that we cannot fathom, bouncers and cops in the UK are now using a device to ensure that people who sniff coke don't get into nightclubs. What?

Sharks, racquetballs, and pretend priests.

Have you ever used Zicam Cold Remedy? Did you subsequently lose your sense of smell, for life? If not, consider yourself lucky.

What do you know, Amsterdam is the new hot spot for ad agencies. Do you guess they're attracted by the tax breaks and diversity and public transportation and government investment and creative talent? Or...

Were you under the impression that our new president had pretty much legalized medical marijuana by telling the feds to stop going after growers and sellers? Not quite!

Hey remember salvia, everyone's favorite legal hallucinogen? Well, guess what? It's back! And our crack video team has put together a greatest hits reel of salvia smoking-inspired idiocy. We even filmed one of our interns wigging out on it!

For a hot minute last year, funny internet videos of idiots smoking salvia were the thing. Then smokin' Smarties came along, and the appeal of salvia faded. But now it's back! This is just what America's funemployed citizens need:

Real Housewife of New Jersey and former "coke whore" Danielle Staub worked for an escort service in Miami in the late 1980s, according to an interview her ex-husband Kevin Maher gave to Star. There's lots more.

Courtroom testimony appears to have solved the riddle of why tech journalist Rex Farrance was killed in a seemingly bizarre 2007 slaying: The thieves knew about all the pot stashed in his San Francisco Bay Area home.

Fun, spoiled: two British guys were arrested with a motherlode of blow (1,507 non-metric-system pounds) outside of Montpellier in what the French government is calling the biggest cocaine bust in the history of the country.

We tracked down Kevin Maher, the former FBI informant and ex-husband of Danielle Staub of Real Housewives of New Jersey, whom he called a "coke whore." He's under a "contract" with Star for the exclusive to his story, so couldn't really talk. But he thinks Danielle's life is in danger.

In the good old days of the culture wars, your teenagers, after years of being raped by Satanist daycare workers, were all organizing "Rainbow Parties" and smoking weed three times more powerful than the stuff you smoked all the time in high school. Now they are just hugging?

The two Harvard students who were the "nexus" between the alleged shooters and the victim in the Harvard killing last week have been identified—and one of them is saying she had nothing to do with it and charging the university with racism.

A former president of South Korea, a guy pushed over a bridge, an actress, and two cases of assisted: suicides are all over the news this weekend. What the hell is going on?