An employee at Marc Jacobs' SoHo store intercepted a delivery of cocaine; she called the cops because she thought it was anthrax. It can be hard to tell the difference between drug dealers and terrorists.

Has the war on drugs failed? Well, drugs still exist, so, yes! U.S. Drug Czar Gil Kerlikowske agrees: "In the grand scheme, [the war on drugs] has not been successful." So, maybe we can stop shooting people's dogs now? [AP]

A mysterious fungus is wreaking havoc on Afghanistan's opium poppies, which account for 92% of the world's supply. Local farmers blame the US military and NATO after a white substance appeared on their crops. The United Nations blames nature.

You know the thing where parents force their kid to smoke a cigarette, to teach them that smoking's nasty? You get arrested for that now. Although to be fair, five is maybe too young. Also the mom had weed. [AP]

Police in Billings, Montana, are looking for two young men suspected of attacking medical marijuana dispensaries with molotov cocktails and spray painting "NOT IN OUR TOWN" on the walls. Clinic owners say they won't be intimidated by these thugs. [AP]

One Columbia senior wanted to know how his fellow students were able to get so high, yet still do well on exams. So he went straight to the source: the school library. It's "study drug time"!

Matthew Schneider, a 22-year-old production manager who worked on the show, is one of many charged in a drug bust in Alaskan fishing center Unalaska. He is still on the run, and he's implicated other show employees of drug running.

Today we looked at how drug-happy Reed College might be prosecuted for student druggery. This led one commenter to reminisce about their own college druggy experiences. They had way more fun than nerdy theater kids, we can tell you that.

In spite of a high-profile federal crackdown, Reed College's annual hippie drug fest, Renn Fayre, came and went without a single arrest. Surprise side effect: the Feds now say they can prosecute tacitly drug-friendly colleges for being crack houses.

As the weeded citizenry hoped, the DC City Council yesterday legalized medical marijuana in the District. Let chiefas ring, from Hobart Street to Georgetown! Alas—across the country, the weedheads of Los Angeles were simultaneously receiving terrible news.

Residents of the District are getting excited about today's vote on legalizing medical marijuana. One man hopes to eventually open a café called "Wakey Bakey." To get the story, The Washington Post went looking for, and found, lots of weed.

Available on Ebay: "PICS of FL GOV CHARLIE CRIST snorting lines of COCAINE!" Somewhere "between 2 and 6 readily identifiable pictures" of ol' independent Charlie doing blow in the 80s. Starting bid $600,000. [And a nice Charlie Crist painting!]

Former drug kingpin Ike Atkinson, a soldier who smuggled tons of heroin out of Vietnam, is challenging American Gangster's account of Harlem heroin-smuggling kingpin Frank Lucas. Give Ike Atkinson credit for every last kilo he smuggled into America, patriotically.

Oh, Arizona. First this, then this, and now this: The state is cracking down on school teachers with accents in an effort to secure Anglo dominance in the southwest, because Arizona is a state where we speak English, okay?

Arise from your stupor, Americans: it's a list of the Top 25 Psychiatric Meds of 2009! Are you feeling depressed, anxious, and panicked? Join the club. You're probably snoozy and suffering certain sexual side effects, too.

Designer Alexander McQueen's autopsy reveals he ingested cocaine, sleeping pills, and tranquilizers before hanging himself.

Big Brother season 9 winner Adam Jasinski used his $500,000 prize to launch a massive Oxycodone distribution operation. Turns out it was a real-life reality show drug ring: His Big Brother ally Matthew McDonald was just indicted too! [TMZ]

Hippie school Reed College—my alma mater!—is in the news. Why? Because the Feds have cracked down on their end-of-the-year "Renn Fayre" celebration. They're sending in undercover cops to bust the drug-laced festivities. (And maybe play some human chess.)

Despite what the haters would have you believe, keeping the union between flip flops and feet intact requires much skill, focus and concentration. Watch this festival bro trip between consciousnesses as he struggles to regain his footing on reality.

That pot haven hotel the LA Times wrote about has canceled their weed-tastic opening party.